What historical or prehistoric event would you change if you had a time machine?

[Monolith]

I;d save Harambe

 

[Squawking Macaw]

Convince the American colonies to pick their own damn cotton.

While you're at it, convince the Portuguese to mine their own damn gold for me.

 

[Unarmed Gunman]

I would go back and murder the inventor of wallpaper right in his crib.

 

[MoffAlbert]

I'd find a way to keep the dinosaurs from going extinct so that hominids wouldn't have a chance to flourish.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

im not sure what specifically would need to be done bu ti would ensure confederate victory in the US civil war

Give them AK-47s.

Spoiler: Spoiler

That's the plot of Harry Turtledove's Guns of the South.

 

[Osmosis Jones]

I'd make sure the dominant hominid was the neanderthal instead of sapiens.

 

[Vindeo]

theres so many things, like preventing the CRA from being passed, or preventing 9/11 and the events that followed.

i think ultimately id prevent wwi, stopping the assassination of franz ferdinand. if wwi didnt happen, then wwii wouldnt happen, technological progress wouldnt have leaped so fast, the usa might not be owned by the military industrial complex, we wouldnt live in this fucking stupid post cold war world, no NATO, a cold war relic that just creates conflict in europe with russia, a country we were supposed to be chill with after they abandoned communism.

 

[Suel Forrester]

Give them AK-47s.

Spoiler: Spoiler

That's the plot of Harry Turtledove's Guns of the South.

Ah true. For some reason I was thinking in the confines of the time lol

 

[Tri-Tachyon'sClown]

Punching this bitch and all his friends until he never comes back to land again.

 

[Stephanie Bustcakes]

I would go back in time to when Hitler was still in art school and was told by his art teacher that his art sucked, and tell him "Hey, man, listen: I really like your art, dude. Forget what that stuck up, out of touch guy says. I think you have real talent and should stick with it. It would be a real shame if you were to give up and squander your talents on some lame shit like, I dunno, politics or something. I truly believe if you really work at it you'll be a successful and respected artist someday. Just whatever you do, don't give up."

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I would go back in time to when Hitler was still in art school and was told by his art teacher that his art sucked, and tell him "Hey, man, listen: I really like your art, dude. Forget what that stuck up, out of touch guy says. I think you have real talent and should stick with it. It would be a real shame if you were to give up and squander your talents on some lame shit like, I dunno, politics or something. I truly believe if you really work at it you'll be a successful and respected artist someday. Just whatever you do, don't give up."

There was a movie made about that very thing.
John Cusack played a WW1 veteran missing an arm, he was an art dealer who liked Hitlers paintings.
He was trying to get Hitlers' work into a gallery but was murdered before he could do so.

If I could change one thing, I would get Sharon Tate and her guests out of the house, and had cops waiting for Susan Atkins and the rest of the "Family".

 

[Wot Zit Too Yah0996]

I would become an advisor in Harald Klak's court, and convince him not to convert to Christianity, and instead either stay a Norse pagan, or, for a good laugh, try to attempt to get him to convert to Judaism. Or Buddhism.

More on him: https://en.natmus.dk/historical-kno...h-and-rituals/the-transition-to-christianity/

 

[Krokodil Overdose]

Teddy Roosevelt surviving that bullet. Not sure how I'd pull it off, I think I'd need something with the yield of the Halifax explosion, but anything to stop Wilson

 

[The Ugly One]

I'd beat Karl Marx to death. We'd still have some sort of socialist faggotry, but the poison of Bolshevism and the Nazi reaction would have been avoided, as would the pseudintellectual "critical theory" version that's rotting out academia.

 

[Dysnomia]

I'd go back and make sure that Superman movie with Nic Cage happens.

 

[SmallKiwi]

Tell Hitler the secrets of the Atomic Bomb before anyone else. Boom!

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I'd jerk off in the primordial ooze

What if you "already did that": you eventually get time travel and that's already happened in the past?



And it didn't have any significant effect?

BTW you'd need a spacesuit or at least an air tank as the atmosphere back then was not that breathable.

 

[I AM RETARDED!]

I'm actually very curious what would happened if I stopped the assassination of Cesar or if I convinced Carthage to not recall Hannibal.

 

[Wot Zit Too Yah0996]

More recent (ish?) one: stop Scott Weiland going on that final tour, or failing that, become a roadie, then organise a mini-intervention thing with his bandmates, and get him to stop the tour. How I'd do it would be something to the effect of, "Hey, mate, all of us know how much the tour and the money for the alimony means to you, but you need to take it easy, cut whatever crap your injecting and snorting, and cut down on the booze. Check yourself into rehab again, go into AA, and get clean once and for all for your kids."

 

[MadStan]

I'd go back and kill christ in the crib - and take the loot from the 3 kings with me. And take his mom with me.