WHAT I ATE TODAY!!!! 10/6/2019 - in which Amber vague-whines about getting bad news, NOT related to Norma Jean. NO ASSUMPTIONS!

[Fandom Trash]

Love how she takes dainty little bites when eating those dumplings.

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

Edit: She straight up says that she gets her mind off bad things by eating, she's officially mentally ill (I don't recall her saying that she does this before)

That was my takeaway from this whole wretched mess - "I gots horrible news and the only way to deal with it is to EAT!"

Problem is, that's Hamber's mantra for dealing with everything in her life. A good friend bartender once told me it's the best job in the world. Why so, I asked? Well, people drink when they're happy and want to celebrate and they drink when they're sad or depressed. Win-win!

Substitute food for alcohol and there you have AL in a nutshell.

Speculation: The bad news is on her side of the family this time. Her "loving" momma or Aunt Tammy. Pinky swear bet, anyone?

 

[Phalanx]

This is clearly in Norma gate saga as Ambers language kinda sticks to certain time bubbles so you can recognise it to certain periods.

 

[Twinkie]

That was my takeaway from this whole wretched mess - "I gots horrible news and the only way to deal with it is to EAT!"

Problem is, that's Hamber's mantra for dealing with everything in her life. A good friend bartender once told me it's the best job in the world. Why so, I asked? Well, people drink when they're happy and want to celebrate and they drink when they're sad or depressed. Win-win!

Exactly. Anytime she's feeling good she's doing the exact same thing--eating like a pig--only not in her bed but at the buffet and snapchatting

Side rant because seeing the good ol Burgerland Nutrition Facts label got me going. The fuck is a serving size? it's totally subjective, or open to interpretation (cups and spoons are not accurate measure by any standard). Very rarely is there ever some kind of real measurement on packages and it's part of the reason Americans never learn portion control.

Gorl it says right there that a cup is 168 grams. Food labels always include oz/gram alongside the "cup" or whatever serving size so if you wanted to be a sperg you would weigh that out. Plain cheerios are healthy though, so even if a measuring cup isn't perfectly accurate it's close enough in that case. Food labels are pretty good now imo. Amberlynn is obviously an extreme case, but people overall just eat to much and do so consistently. It's not really the label's fault.

Anyway this video... wasn't bad? I mean she's trash but this is more entertaining than so much of her 100 days crap. I can't wait to see what's coming for the adsense-rich months

 

[Dutch Courage]

View attachment 961220

Nice capture; it has the trademark deathfatty tongue-extension and everything.

 

[BooneHelm]

Classic Amberlynn. "The whole world is falling apart! Now watch me eat."

Rice and noodles...carbs on top of carbs. Clearly the secret to all diets is more carbs.

Edit:

When will the ADL stop this woman?

 

[StrawberryDouche]

"I've lost 8 pounds, I'm so proud of myself!" As her finger disappears into her blubber vest.

Speculation: The bad news is on her side of the family this time. Her "loving" momma or Aunt Tammy. Pinky swear bet, anyone?

My speculation is that unchecked tumor on Twinkie's side finally exploded like a bellybutton in the night life.

 

[Grey-ish]

"....It has nothing to do with Becky's family" (1:00)

It definitely has everything to do with Becky's family lol

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

My speculation is that unchecked tumor on Twinkie's side finally exploded like a bellybutton in the night life.

Interesting, but if I lost my fur ball (or even seriously injured), I (likely most of us) would be blubbering babies, not stuffing our faces on YouTube with whoa is me fake tear drops.

But, this IS Hamber we're talking about here, so nothing would surprise me.

 

[Calling]

Do you think she went to the kitchen herself to get a fork or did she yell for Becky?

Definitely called for Becky - she's in the exact same spot, same position, same camera angle before and after the cut.

Grim video. She downplays the fried dumplings, buries her feelings in "mills" (meals, for you basic bitches who aren't on AL's literary level), has an enormous bowl of cereal and sugar-filled grapes, and we all know she ate more off-camera. I kind of just want off AL's wild ride at this point.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

Interesting, but if I lost my fur ball (or even seriously injured), I (likely most of us) would be blubbering babies, not stuffing our faces on YouTube with whoa is me fake tear drops.

But, this IS Hamber we're talking about here, so nothing would surprise me.

I think they finally got it checked out and discovered it's serious. I just feel like it has something to do with Amber's fat canine doppelganger.

Or, maybe her garbage brother finally got raped and shanked in prison. either/or.

 

[Mandaark]

I think they finally got it checked out and discovered it's serious. I just feel like it has something to do with Amber's fat canine doppelganger.

Or, maybe her garbage brother finally got raped and shanked in prison. either/or.

Just to be clear, I'm being optimistic it's not Twank.
While I want our gorl to escape, I don't want it to be through death

 

[beanbag in a hurry]

 

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

eating 6 cups and seeing "x calories" for a single cup, and not realizing that by eating 6 cups you disregarded the serving size.

Her absolute inability to grasp the concept of serving sizes just... I don't even know what to say. It's amazing.

Remember when she was on her doctor's plan? He said to eat beef jerky as a snack. So she bought a bag with three servings in it. Rather than divide the bag into three snacks for the day, she did the calculations as though she were eating three bags a day, and then freaked out over the sodium. Unless she was actually planning on eating nine servings of jerky a day (which isn't out of the question with this pig) she so fundamentally misunderstands nutrition labels that she might as well just ignore them.

It's not even delusion. She either knows damn well that she's lying to herself (and thinks her audience is stupid enough just to go with whatever she says) or she's actually so stupid that she can't tell the difference between multiplication and division. Even using scales/measuring cups for every crumb you consume won't help when you honestly don't understand how fucking numbers work.

Amazing.

 

[DubbleBubble]

Gorl it says right there that a cup is 168 grams. Food labels always include oz/gram alongside the "cup" or whatever serving size so if you wanted to be a sperg you would weigh that out. Plain cheerios are healthy though, so even if a measuring cup isn't perfectly accurate it's close enough in that case. Food labels are pretty good now imo. Amberlynn is obviously an extreme case, but people overall just eat to much and do so consistently. It's not really the label's fault.

interesting. I left the states around two years back and it was very, very rare to see a gram listing next to the bullshit label on ANYTHING. From family I know theres still no grams in sight on a lot of things (possible they're just stupid and confused, of course). Maybe this is a regional thing? I know companies care a lot less when it come to poverty tier food in nowhere towns in the south.

if that is changing though, neato, it's about fucking time. Hey I learn a thing.

 

[New & Improved Username]

If it was a sick Twinkie or cat she'd fake cry for sympathy and talk about it. The only way she wouldn't want to take advantage for sympathy is if it reflected badly on her or if it's really somebody else's news (Shrek and Dustin) and they'd be annoyed if she talked.

Why doesn't her dainty pretense extend to her table manners?

 

[The Jokester]

You can tell this is an older video. The season for those Candy Floss grapes are only August to the end of September.

 

[hotcheetospuffs]

Has there been anything about a crisis or sad thing on her parents', brother, or Aunt Tammie's facebooks? Maybe I'm just shit at searching but I can only find Tony's FB and he hasn't updated so I'm assuming he's still incarcerated.

ETA: There's a memorial to another dead child, a boy, on Destiny's Mom's FB page, but it doesn't seem to be immediate family. Perhaps Amber is just using the death of Dana's Paw Paw as an excuse to eat?

 

[Billie Ross]

If she really was that upset, wouldn't she... oh, I don't know... not film herself with a giant shit-eating grin while shoveling dumpleeeeens into her mouth? Pure speculation here.

My intuition tells me that the 2 horrible things that happened was that not only 1, but bolth of the fag's dogs runaway while under the FUPA crew care.
Tired of being punched by Dustyn and without understand why their owners went to a place where dogs were allowed and instead of taken them, chose to leave them with the unknown by God, Stinky Monstrous Creatures that shake the earth when they move.
Dodge Thumb and Hambo's "faster than lightning" moves were easy, unfortunately their dear friend Twinko Storr was left behind to her demise due to her lack of fitness for the journey ahead.
The Beast had to pretend to care for a few hours in front of the camera so she could prove Eric and Ricky that wasn't her fault and she was devastated like with Dustyn's cat.
Generously she donated some of her old notebooks in the garage and Necky's amazing artistry skills for them to make hand made missing posters. The Beast also charged less for the dog sitting duties, only for the 2 days before the dogs went missing, so kind and selflessness of her.
By now they're looking for the dogs... I hope they never find them.
Good Luck Trixxie and Chubbs.

 

[TaterBot]

Rickie and Eric returned from vacation and Rickie confronted Amber about using their room as a guest room and messing about in their bathroom. Amber is pouting in "her" room, eating and feeling sorry for herself while plotting some narc revenge. Maybe she will make Becky take her shopping for mirrors again for her new place she's so excited about getting,huh?