What if your faith just died?

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Apr 6, 2019
I have always believed in God and most of my adult life, I have been part of a religious community- different locations, slightly different crowds of people, but same idea. It was a huge part of my life, gave a lot of meaning.

I didn't even realize what was happening. I had to write a religious exemption letter for the shot and felt very good about what I came up with- it was 100% things I could stand by no matter what, no bluffs or bullshit. Clergy here was supportive but the wider national leadership was not.

The masks and shut downs and vaccine shit made everything miserable for a long time. Services were online for months, and then weird and distant. Half the people thought the restrictions were retarded, the other half thought they didn't go far enough and even agitated for a vax mandate to attend. They lost. They do their best to make things miserable even though they lost. The other side radicalized in its own way, with some of them all but going full medieval. I can't fit into either camp. But everything seemed tolerable- not normal, not ok, but livable. Like a pain that you just get used to working around. I tried to hang onto my beliefs despite everything that challenged them. And then one day it was just gone.

I haven't had any kind of atheist "awakening" nor do I feel "angry at God." I just feel nothing. I'm not convinced by the things I used to find convincing. I'm not moved by the things I used to find moving. I look at the world and humanity and I can see the machinations of nature, and I can accept that perhaps this was all designed by God and now bogged down by sin. But all the detailed stuff, the long prayers, the rituals, the ornate copes meant to help fit ancient beliefs into the modern scientific world- it might as well be a sci fi movie. Interesting, but irrelevant.

It's like when they shut down during the most important holidays during lockdown, someone admitted "yeah this is all basically fake lol, it doesn't matter like we claimed it did, it's a larp that makes us feel good and when things get too rough we can take a break from it." And now I can't unsee that.

I want to be like Matchbox20 and get back 2 good but I don't know how.
 
Well, look at the Maccabees, under the Greeks Judaism nearly completely died out, but a family of Jews started a bloody insurgency to keep their faith alive and against all odds it eventually resulted in a briefly independent Judea. That's not to say to start a insurgency to overthrow the government, rather you need to find people who actually share your faith and aren't just doing it out of tradition/community obligation.
 
It's a phase, once you realize that believing in nothing gets even shittier than believing in something (even if you aren't entirely clear about it) - you will seek out faith again. I look to the Sun, understanding that everything needed in life is in some way downstream from the Sun's rays, from our food to the weather to vitamin D. Regardless of what cunt politicians or scientists say - each and every one of them WILL be dead in 100 years, while the Sun will keep on shining. Until someone sends me a snapshot from 1 Billion years in the future showing our Sun literally exploding - it might as well be Eternal.

We are ants before the Sun, it is so bright we must avert our eyes. The Sun is the closest thing to a physical God that we have, and there's a reason nearly every culture on earth has venerated the Sun at some point. It is the Light and it removes Darkness, that's all I need in faith.
 
I'm not sure I can help you. I am personally an agnostic(basically a fancy word meaning idk what is going on). Maybe there is a God, maybe there isn't. I can't definitively say either way. A couple thoughts do come to mind though. These are necessarily personal questions, so feel free not to answer. I do encourage you to think on them though. You also should not feel discouraged if you cannot give a clear answer to these questions immediately. The truth is, if this was so simple, there wouldn't be as many religions as there are.

It sounds like your belief in God is marked less by what you believe than by your social environment. The social affirmation of God was disrupted, and this has prompted your doubts. Have you ever seriously sat down and tried to figure out what you believe? You, by yourself? If not, I suggest you do so. You may find that you never truly believed, because you never really asked yourself the question. What would you do if you were raised in a Buddhist country? What would you do if you were shipwrecked by yourself on a desert island? Would you still hold the beliefs you had/have? Would you be dissatisfied with alternative beliefs and continue seeking?

As a practical matter. You are alive. This much you can know for sure. This is something of a PL, since it is my own method of coping with the situation, but I suggest dedicating yourself to the truth as an abstract concept. Reality exists regardless of our thoughts/feelings on the matter. If God exists, so too must He exist whether we believe in Him or not. In the long run, truth always prevails, so dedicate yourself to the truth. If God exists, and you dedicate yourself to the truth, you dedicate yourself to Him, because He is true. If He does not exist, and you dedicate yourself to the truth, you still win in the long run, because it is a false belief that was destroyed. You may have to spend your life seeking the truth. I hope you find it, but even if you can't before you die, you at least won't be bored.
 
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I've had the opposite experience, the misery of the 2020s has only made my faith stronger where for the longest time I was basically agnostic, though I was moving towards a more positive view of Christianity, but only in this decade have I really gone "I guess it's all really true after all"

For what it's worth to power level a bit about my personal journey, I was a Christian when I was a kid and well into my teens, by late teens I became agnostic and in my early 20s I did flirt with becoming a full on atheist, until gradually I started to have a more and more positive view of Christianity until now I'm convinced it's true.

That's the silver lining of the 2020s is it's at least helped me get back in touch with God and that I'm very thankful for that, I personally don't how how else to interpret what's happening as the end of the world in a Religious sense, too much stuff is happening too fast and it all started happening when mainstream society fully turned it's back on God, coincidence?

Especially now after Roe v Wade being overturned and we have Woke people online flat out saying they want to kill Christians, look at those people and tell me they wouldn't worship the Antichrist and be stuffing our heads in guillotines like the book of Revelations warns us about.

I think your issue is your faith was too tied in with a community, when the community disappointed you, you feel disappointment towards the whole thing, what you need to realize is that faith is a very personal thing and you shouldn't let others cloud it.
 
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It sounds like your belief in God is marked less by what you believe than by your social environment. The social affirmation of God was disrupted, and this has prompted your doubts. Have you ever seriously sat down and tried to figure out what you believe? You, by yourself? If not, I suggest you do so. You may find that you never truly believed, because you never really asked yourself the question. What would you do if you were raised in a Buddhist country? What would you do if you were shipwrecked by yourself on a desert island? Would you still hold the beliefs you had/have? Would you be dissatisfied with alternative beliefs and continue seeking?

I think your issue is your faith was too tied in with a community, when the community disappointed you, you feel disappointment towards the whole thing, what you need to realize is that faith is a very personal thing and you shouldn't let others cloud it.


I can really see how it comes across like that from what I wrote. I'm not sure how it ended up that way. Writing that exemption statement was something I had to do utterly alone, and in writing it I felt I'd articulated exactly what I believe, independent from any community or clergy. Logically, it should have left me stronger in faith even if also more alienated from the community. At first it seemed that was the case.

There is no way for me to truly practice the faith I had in a vacuum. There are obligations and rituals that you're supposed to be taking part in all the time as part of the community. In fact if you fail to do so you effectively excommunicate yourself.
 
One moves on. That's all one can do. I did before, I can again. That's why I'm agnostic in the first place.
 
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I can really see how it comes across like that from what I wrote. I'm not sure how it ended up that way. Writing that exemption statement was something I had to do utterly alone, and in writing it I felt I'd articulated exactly what I believe, independent from any community or clergy. Logically, it should have left me stronger in faith even if also more alienated from the community. At first it seemed that was the case.

There is no way for me to truly practice the faith I had in a vacuum. There are obligations and rituals that you're supposed to be taking part in all the time as part of the community. In fact if you fail to do so you effectively excommunicate yourself.
I think I see, so it is more the religion itself that is the issue, not so much a belief in God? If that is the case, maybe take an inventory of what you actually believe, and see if any other religions match it? It sounds like your present religion is fairly structured, maybe talk to a clergyman in it? Be frank about your doubts, maybe there is something in it's apologetics that may be relevant?
 
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There is no way for me to truly practice the faith I had in a vacuum. There are obligations and rituals that you're supposed to be taking part in all the time as part of the community. In fact if you fail to do so you effectively excommunicate yourself.
If you got lost on a desert island, would God still love you?
 
There's a light that shines from above but there is also a light shines not from below but from the secret folds within matter, illuminating with a soft light that which is invisible unless looked for in the dark. The source is the same but endlessly refracted and numinous throughout the ghosts of our existence.

You're exhausted. The last two years have been a travail. You'll find your way. You're shrewd and intelligent and have an open mind.
 
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It sounds like your faith is diverging from what you think it should be. As others said in this thread, you should take your time and be honest to yourself about what you actually believe. When you have an ideal to strive for, it's important for you to be able to identify with it.
 
I just feel nothing. I'm not convinced by the things I used to find convincing. I'm not moved by the things I used to find moving.

Yeah. That happens from time to time in a life.
Don;t go poking and prodding it to try and feel something because you feel like you should, or your church expects it, or any other retarded reason and your faith will return after a while.
Won;t be the same as it was, of course, but it'll be stronger for the break.

Edit: Just want to add something that might be worthing thinking on. While I'm not going to say don't pray cause that's a stupid thing to say, spend time listening too. Talking to God works both ways. Give him chance to answer.
Not sure if that was worth me getting out of bed to add, but whatever.
Find peace.
 
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I dunno how useful this information is to you but this exact same sort of thing can happen to non-religious or even atheistic people. Its perhaps not quite as tangible as losing your faith in God, but that way you feel nothing, as if its all been a joke, and it all feels like trivial nonsense, I had that exact thing happen to me not too long ago. This was a bit before COVID and it involved a death in the family and forced me the re-evaluate my priorities and realize how little the things I cared about actually mattered in the scheme of things.

It really changes you. People tell me I talk to them differently, don't seem to take them seriously or try to really connect with them. Any kind of deeply held belief has just become a matter of opinion. Completely theoretical, and totally disposable. I can talk to one group of people about how much I hate Jews and niggers one day and another about how much I hate white people and chinks the next, and be completely honest in both circumstances, because its just another day living in the ant farm. Sometimes I struggle with the thought of Hellfire and damnation, but most of the time I struggle to believe in anything at all. A lot of your life turns into just killing time, waiting for, I dunno, something that feels meaningful to happen next.

The point of this isn't to whatabout and say "It happens to US TOO!" but to let you know, fedorafag to christcuck, that we're both in the same boat for once.

I've seen just as many people double down on the hardcore euphoric atheism as I have the ones who chant "I HATE THE ANTICHRIST" and larp as traditional Christians and I feel just disgusted with how far people will go to try and give the impression that they have some kind of certainty. Not the fun kind of disgust either. I don't think that's the right response to this situation, but at the same time I feel like it might just be too much for some people and they need that kind of cope. I don't really have any kind of conclusion to this, I just wanted to say its happening, to a lot of different people.
 
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