Containment What If?

Norric Lancaster said:
What if Chris got the help he needs, as well as the care he needs. What if said help changes him for the better, reintegrating into society and and developing appropriate behavior. Becoming a well meaning and hopefully we'll to do disabled individual. What would this place become?
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I don't think the whole place would implode, because there are still a great many lolcows in this world to laugh at, but it sure wouldn't be the same.

The whole userbase would be mourning his "passing" and hoping that the legend one day would come back (AKA reiterate to his former state of uselessness) so that we could discuss and document his exceptional behavior once again.
 
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What if Chris' tastes didn't mature into accepting pickles (not even as part of chili dogs), and found out that Shigeru Miyamoto created a food-themed game, appeared in an interview disguised as a pickle and said to the interviewer that "If someone has any problem with pickle men, then they must come at me because I'm the king of the pickles"?
 
What if Chris was attractive and put up his attraction signs? Would some of the women think it was cute? I mean he was creepy but if he was attractive and creepy how would that play out?

CWCissey said:
They'd shun him because he fucked a prostitute.
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did he really fuck a prostitute? i am behind on my chris-story a little birdie told me that chris lies constantly!
 
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therealchrischan said:
did he really fuck a prostitute? i am behind on my chris-story a little birdie told me that chris lies constantly!
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apologize for double-posting

and yes, he lost his virginity to a hooker waaaaay back in the spring of 2012. he was afraid of the possibility of going to jail for running over michael snyder and vowed to starve to death in his cell if that happened. and he didn't want to die a virgin, so he got off his ass and did something about it. he apparently visited her twice too.

there was a huge meltdown on these very forums over it; people arguing because he used a hooker, it didn't actually count ("he lost his technical virginity but not his cultural virginity")

apologize for double-posting

EDIT: and yes, chris does lie constantly. he doesn't actually exist, and we've all been following a figment of someone's imagination. and barb is dead and bob is alive.
 
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kkillme8 said:
They'd cast Ricky Gervais as Chris, that chick from the 2010 Tron reboot as Megan, and Leonardo Dicaprio as Liquid Chris.
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Also, there'd probably be a part where Danny Devito cameos as a racoon or something running out of the hoard of trash.

Depression_Begins said:
I want to see Clint Eastwood as Bob.
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I wanna see Michael Cera as Julie.
 
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Mr. 0 said:
there was a huge meltdown on these very forums over it; people arguing because he used a hooker, it didn't actually count ("he lost his technical virginity but not his cultural virginity")
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So they were mad that Chris was then less of a virgin than they were.
 
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