Containment What If?

Chris: Um yeah, you know, Obama uh I see his point, he has to, uh make sure things are safe N all.
Maher:(asks about Snowden)
Chris: Ah yeah you know, he uh, maybe if they do arrest him, a good time would 5 years, but I see his point.
Fatman: Hey Bill see this cherry pie, I'm gonna eat the whole fuckin thing Aussie Dossey!
 
Either Chris got himself or both of them banned from Goodwill and they took enough offense to notify the Charlotteville Circuit Court about it, or (most likely) :snorlax: got sickly enough (possible decubitus ulcers and/or undiagnosed degenerative brain illness) and made a convincing enough sob story to cause Chris to move into the music room.
 
Bill would probably regret this episode and have it nuked from the face of the planet
 
He'd be sad, but later happy as the tugboat won't stop, and maybe also Rocky would send him money. He would live the rest of his live playing games and getting banned from various stores, until one day he is banned from every location in Ruckersville. When he passes, godbear will give him his own section of heaven, so he doesn't hit on all the hot angels.
 
Did the love dolls move into the living room also? Do they at least get to come for visits?
 
Chris would be very vocal about his disappointment that the NSA haven't made homosexual internet trolls and cyberbullies their prime target, hunting Clyde Cash instead of Snowden.
 
I can see Chris trying to befriend the Mane Six and failing. He'd try to cozy up to AppleJack especially, seeing her as a kindred spirit. Part of his troubles would stem around him trying to earn his cutie mark, then getting disappointed when it isn't something that shows he's the best creator ever.

He'd be tolerated and the townspeople would try to get him to work and bathe properly, only for him to refuse. Eventually he'd probably run into the Everfree Forest to explore, only to get turned into stone by a basilisk. Not even Fluttershy would argue on his behalf.
 
No more lying about being overweight. He is no longer ashamed of his size and decides to become an activist!
 
Yeah, what several others suggested - take all the vidya and send it to myself. Same with the DVDs and anything else of value.

Make Chris eat nothing but healthy food all day and water, nothing else. Make him clean up after telling Barb off. I would also try to get in contact with everyone Chris wronged - Rocky, Snyder, et al and apologize to all of them, as well as Cole, David, and Carol. Maybe even Patricia and apologize for whatever it was Bob did. Do some more cleaning, search through the hoard for anything valuable and send it to myself. Search for Autism Papers and other stuff that would be gold for the CWCki.

Take Barb to the hospital and then at 2355, have a full tardfit and commit some sort of crime (not a violent one, just enough to get arrested again)

He would encourage the other fatties to lose weight - autistics are ashamed of him, Sonic fans are ashamed of him, and so fatties would be ashamed of him.
 
He starts up Sonichu. All the male characters are fat and it's seen as sexy, but all the females are obviously still trim because no one likes fat chicks.
 
CalmMyTits said:
...and then at 2355, have a full tardfit and commit some sort of crime (not a violent one, just enough to get arrested again)
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Oh...hadn't thought of that....
Would leaving Ruckersville and jetting off for a gay sex orgy in the tenderloin count as breaking probation?
I know you can't leave town if you're on parole, but does that apply to probation as well?

qld said:
Did the love dolls move into the living room also? Do they at least get to come for visits?
Click to expand...

I've wondered if Warden Barb allows Prisoner #6669 to leave the music room for "Conjugal Visits" with Officer Kimmi back in his old holding cell.
I mean, he may be a manchild, but he has needs, dammit!
There is only so much satisfaction he can get from leaving the Force Feedback controller mindlessly grinding away him his crotch before he needs to Get Off before he Goes Off.
 
Since I've had kind of a sick fascination with Nick Bate as of recently and have been following him on Twitter, my first choice would be to hypnotize Chris into believing that he was actually Anna Nickel (Nick's long lusted after stalking target) and that he was absolutely in love with Nick.

He might pass for Anna with a quick makeover since he already has the same long matted unkempt hair, bust size (probably) and ugly hambeast face as her. All he would need at this point would be hot pink hair dye, piercings and tacky weeaboo clothing and rainbow beads. :tomgirl:

Next I would have to convince Chris to drive to wherever Nick lives in Pennsylvania, which isn't TOO far away from Ruckersville, and then show up at Nick's doorstep.

"Nick, I'm uh- I would like to apologize for uh- for thinking you were a creepy pedofork stalker all these years, and uh, I would love to be your wife and Sweetheart from the ground-up."

"Aboot damn time!!"

Nick wouldn't even bother to check for "Anna's" duck due to his irrational fear of china and might also have a sexual attraction towards his :briefs:

And then Chris wakes up from the hypnotic spell while in the middle of doing butt stuff with Nick.
 
Since there's way too many what ifs based around her death, what if she could not die? She would outlive everybody and even after Chris's death she would continue what she's been doing on a daily basis?

I would imagine, over a few thousand years, the shit would continue to overflow the house into Branchland Ct. and eventually all of Ruckersville (I'm assuming Ruckersville would be a ghost town by this point) would be nothing more than Barb's hoard storage.
 
It doesn't have to be nearly that complicated. "Go to the filing cabinet. Bash it until it opens. Get the Autism Papers. Scan them. Post them right now."
 
Re: What is Barb was immortal?

This was an answer on "Jeopardy"?
 
"You don't like video games anymore. You must give away all your toys and games to charity."
"You don't like video games anymore. You must give away all your toys and games to charity."
"You don't like video games anymore. You must give away all your toys and games to charity."
"You don't like video games anymore. You must give away all your toys and games to charity."
"You don't like video games anymore. You must give away all your toys and games to charity."
"You don't like video games anymore. You must give away all your toys and games to charity."
"You don't like video games anymore. You must give away all your toys and games to charity."
"You don't like video games anymore. You must give away all your toys and games to charity."

Re: What is Barb was immortal?

I'm having a flashback to "Guinea Pig 3: He Never Dies!"

Except instead of a salaryman stabbing himself with a setsquare, I see a chubby redneck with butt-ulcers that burrow until they reach the top of her skull.
 
ForeverAlonePonyfag said:
And then Chris wakes up from the hypnotic spell while in the middle of doing butt stuff with Nick.
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The worst part of all this is you actually put in the time to think up this sort of thing.
 
I'd hypnotize Chris into actually doing something productive like cleaning out the hoarded junk from his home, cleaning the kitchen and cooking something healthy, or even exercising outside. If not, then I would just hypnotize Chris into eating a pickle. :pickle:
*edit: This should be moved to the what if section of the Chris forum.*
 
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