Containment What If?

[Vinluv Handesbukia]

Anyways any offspring of Chris Chan would likely grow up in a hectic unpleasant life, you have to realize that Chris Chan doesn't give a shit about his pets and yells at them in the most menacing voice. He's likely do that to his Children. They'd likely end up hating Chris and might even "become" trolls.

It would be funny however.

 

[TayandYou]

What if Chris is telling the truth and he was just bullshitting to Bella?

It's a horrendously stupid thing to bullshit about, but Chris is horrendously stupid.

 

[Strange Wilderness]

It would be funny however.

Any kid raised by Chris would never write a tell all book about how bad of a parent Chris was or even conspire to troll him. They wouldn't have the mental capabilities. They'd be one of those feral children raised by wolves in the forest because Chris would put no effort into raising them right and Barbs too old, lazy, and senile to raise a child these days. Kid probably wouldn't even get toilet trained and Chris would just let them shit on the floor. He dump a pile of baby food on a used paper plate and occasionally hold them but most of Chris's time would be spent playing with toys and video games while screaming at the top of his lungs for the baby to stop crying. If the kid did survive infancy Chris would just plop it in front of the TV all day like his parents did. By the time the kid was old enough to go to school it would be mute, filthy, unsocial, and only able to communicate with others by screaming at them or repeating phrases they learned from the TV. By that time the state would take away the child and Chris would barely notice.

What if Chris is telling the truth and he was just bullshitting to Bella?

It's a horrendously stupid thing to bullshit about, but Chris is horrendously stupid.

It would be very Chris like to destroy his life by bragging that he had sex with a woman without money changing hands but never actually scored.

I would think that if Chris was actually lying about the incest he never would have been arrested in the first place. Between the three days Chris was removed from the house by the EPO and him getting arrested with Gunt shouting at him, cops found something that convinced them that Chris had boned his mother beyond just a bunch of people calling them saying the village idiot had committed incest.

 

[TayandYou]

I would think that if Chris was actually lying about the incest he never would have been arrested in the first place. Between the three days Chris was removed from the house by the EPO and him getting arrested with Gunt shouting at him, cops found something that convinced them that Chris had boned his mother beyond just a bunch of people calling them saying the village idiot had committed incest.

I would hope so, but then again this is Chris we're talking about, so I wouldn't say it's impossible that the Cops just heard the Bella call and felt it was sufficient grounds to finally get rid of the blight on their community.

 

[PsychoNerd054]

What if Chris is telling the truth and he was just bullshitting to Bella?

It's a horrendously stupid thing to bullshit about, but Chris is horrendously stupid.

Except it wasn't even just Bella he told about this. He also told Dillion about having such an affair with his mom, and hinted at it with Null and some other people he trusted.

 

[TayandYou]

Except it wasn't even just Bella he told about this. He also told Dillion about having such an affair with his mom, and hinted at it with Null and some other people he trusted.

Oh I agree, but if anybody is stupid enough to indeed be lying to everyone about fucking his mom as part of some self-ordained divine test to see if people would believe it, it would be Chris.

I don't think it's the most likely scenario, but I can't discount the possibility.

 

[PsychoNerd054]

Oh I agree, but if anybody is stupid enough to indeed be lying to everyone about fucking his mom as part of some self-ordained divine test to see if people would believe it, it would be Chris.

I don't think it's the most likely scenario, but I can't discount the possibility.

Yeah, I don't think I can completely discount him being told to say that he did it as a possibility either. Larry Vaughn had told him to say all kinds of weird shit to people on Twitter, and he agreed to it. I think the mention to "incest fanfictions" in the call seems a bit fishy, to, all things considered.

 

[TayandYou]

Yeah, I don't think I can completely discount him being told to say that he did it as a possibility either. Larry Vaughn had told him to say all kinds of weird shit to people on Twitter, and he agreed to it. I think the mention to "incest fanfictions" in the call seems a bit fishy, to, all things considered.

If the police simply let him go after a year without upgrading his charges to a felony, I would be slightly more inclined to believe that they didn't find any real proof and Chris was just being stupid as usual.

The quote in the recent letter about how Barb's testimony can't be relied upon because of her age stands out to me. I know many people understood it as him boasting that the police wouldn't believe Barb and would let him go, but I feel that it's more likely that Barb said nothing happened but the police didn't believe her because of her age. Chris seemed more annoyed that Barb's testimony was considered unreliable than anything as it was one of his complaints, so it makes more sense that Barb said nothing happened but the police didn't believe her and thus Chris is still in jail.

But idk, maybe he fucked his mom, maybe he didn't. But he's a moron either way.

 

[SwanSwanson]

Any kid raised by Chris would never write a tell all book about how bad of a parent Chris was or even conspire to troll him. They wouldn't have the mental capabilities. They'd be one of those feral children raised by wolves in the forest because Chris would put no effort into raising them right and Barbs too old, lazy, and senile to raise a child these days. Kid probably wouldn't even get toilet trained and Chris would just let them shit on the floor. He dump a pile of baby food on a used paper plate and occasionally hold them but most of Chris's time would be spent playing with toys and video games while screaming at the top of his lungs for the baby to stop crying. If the kid did survive infancy Chris would just plop it in front of the TV all day like his parents did. By the time the kid was old enough to go to school it would be mute, filthy, unsocial, and only able to communicate with others by screaming at them or repeating phrases they learned from the TV. By that time the state would take away the child and Chris would barely notice.

Keep in mind, Fiona would be in the picture for this

 

[A-№1]

I wouldn't say it's impossible that the Cops just heard the Bella call and felt it was sufficient grounds to finally get rid of the blight on their community.

That's why they issued the initial call in EPO. Then they found something worth extending the initial 3 day EPO to a six day EPO. Then something happened so that they decided to arrest the motherfucker.

maybe he fucked his mom

He fucked his mother. Chris is too stupid to invent something so awfully banal. If he'd made it all up all along it would involve magical pony fairy CPU goddess bullshit.

 

[TayandYou]

He fucked his mother. Chris is too stupid to invent something so awfully banal.

This is definitely still the most likely scenario due to Occam's razor, him simply fucking his mom is much less convoluted than some sort of divine test on his haters. I'm just speculating that if anybody was to somehow bullshit his way into an incest charge, it would be Chris. Not many other lolcows would be stupid enough to do that.

If he'd made it all up all along it would involve magical pony fairy CPU goddess bullshit.

Isn't that the soul bonding part though?

 

[A-№1]

I'm just speculating that if anybody was to somehow bullshit his way into an incest charge, it would be Chris.

Chris is stupid and lazy. Making up a story about fucking his mother is too much work. It's easier for him to just fuck his mother.

Isn't that the soul bonding part though?

He came up with all that after he was caught.

 

[Ophelia]

Isn't that the soul bonding part though?

That was him walking back the admission that they had sex, pretending it was something else (every time he defines it, it’s more innocuous. First laying next to each other, then hugging, now hand-holding). Not filling the admission with magic and embellishing it with rainbows while still claiming they boned.

 

[TayandYou]

Chris is stupid and lazy. Making up a story about fucking his mother is too much work. It's easier for him to just fuck his mother.



He came up with all that after he was caught.

That was him walking back the admission that they had sex, pretending it was something else (every time he defines it, it’s more innocuous. First laying next to each other, then hugging, now hand-holding). Not filling the admission with magic and embellishing it with rainbows while still claiming they boned.

Yeah you guys are right, I was just being

 

[ToroidalBoat]

What if Chris somehow never got the idea that "cartoons are real in another dimension"?

What if he never saw that Family Guy episode about the "multiverse", and never saw that Roger Rabbit movie?

 

[Nointey]

What if Chris somehow never got the idea that "cartoons are real in another dimension"?

What if he never saw that Family Guy episode about the "multiverse", and never saw that Roger Rabbit movie?

He'd be far less delusional and more grounded in reality, but this would just result in him likely becoming far more lethargic and depressed than he already was. Essentially think of 2012 - 2013 Chris, but instead of being 2 years its for the rest of his life

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Essentially think of 2012 - 2013 Chris, but instead of being 2 years its for the rest of his life

Do you think he still would've "Soul Bonded" with Barb then?

The "Love Quest" could've still been ongoing if not.

 

[Nointey]

Do you think he still would've "Soul Bonded" with Barb then?

The "Love Quest" could've still been ongoing if not.

Depends really, but its more likely he would. As for the "Love Quest", its likely he'd be far more desperate than he is in our timeline.

Needless to say, he'd likely be on the sex offender registry earlier

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Needless to say, he'd likely be on the sex offender registry earlier

If he was more depressed and desperate without the cope of "Toon Town is real", do you think he would've tried to off himself?

I think his ego would've prevented that, and he's always had the hope that the Life of Fail will magically get better someday.

 

[Nointey]

If he was more depressed and desperate without the cope of "Toon Town is real", do you think he would've tried to off himself?

I think his ego would've prevented that, and he's always had the hope that the Life of Fail will magically get better someday.

I don't think he would an hero himself, as like you said his ego would've prevented him from trying.