Containment What If?

[A-№1]

Plenty of people who work at the hotels etc. there are not rich, and they probably don't wanna go all the way home at lunchtime to get their Popeyes.

They sure as fuck don't want to go to the Popeyes in Brentwood.

The NW Popeyes is on Wisconsin. A lot of its business is probably from the commuter rush as workers in D.C. take the most direct route out of the district, buying some chicken dinner to take home to their suburban hovels in Maryland.

 

[Nointey]

What if Chris ran away from home and never came back during peak ween years, and then abruptly resurfaced in 2022?

 

[FinnSven]

What if Bob had forced Chris to join the army?

Really forced, as in got him up for morning 5 mile runs and 50 good form chin ups everyday, so he would pass the fitness test.

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

What if Bob had forced Chris to join the army?

Really forced, as in got him up for morning 5 mile runs and 50 good form chin ups everyday, so he would pass the fitness test.

There's no way Chris would have been capable unless he had some sort of major incentive (like a guaranteed sweetheart or some Pony/lego crap) as a form of payment aside from the benefits that comes with the job, and even then he was just too fucking lazy to make any major life changes, no matter how many times people told him.

Also he's just too stupid to follow instructions and I don't think the army would want someone like him, maybe he'd just be responsible for basic day to day housekeeping or some shit in army barracks or something, but I think even then he'd find a way to fuck himself over and after a major screw up, he'd be discharged.

Probably one of the worst army veterans in United State's history.

 

[Glowie]

What if Daniel Moore was still around and took Chris' empty throne? Daniel seemed to commit internet seppuku despite being a fat sonic simp turned into a Nintendo manchild.

Please don't tell me I'm not the only one who remembers that fatso

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

What if Daniel Moore was still around and took Chris' empty throne? Daniel seemed to commit internet seppuku despite being a fat sonic simp turned into a Nintendo manchild.

Please don't tell me I'm not the only one who remembers that fatso

I'm surprised Piscea Sikono never got a lot of attention. He was online a lot more than Chris, and was very easily baited and trolled. He shares a lot of similarities to Chris.

 

[FinnSven]

What if Heilburg take pity on Chris and lets him move home with his family?

 

[Vinluv Handesbukia]

I'm surprised Piscea Sikono never got a lot of attention. He was online a lot more than Chris, and was very easily baited and trolled. He shares a lot of similarities to Chris.

It's all in the asthetics

 

[A-№1]

There's no way Chris would have been capable unless he had some sort of major incentive (like a guaranteed sweetheart or some Pony/lego crap)

Even with that incentive he'd be unwilling. Look at how minimal effort his love quest was. If he's unwilling to do more than sit around with a sign to get a boyfriend-free-girl-from-the-ground-up, he sure as fuck isn't going to do any push-ups for one.

The stick works much better than the carrot for getting Chris to do things he doesn't want to. Don't offer him china. A cattle prod will achieve much better results.

 

[Mason Verger]

What if Bob had forced Chris to join the army?

Really forced, as in got him up for morning 5 mile runs and 50 good form chin ups everyday, so he would pass the fitness test.

Have you ever seen the first half of Full Metal Jacket?

 

[TayandYou]

Have you ever seen the first half of Full Metal Jacket?

So what you're saying is that Bob should have done so for the entertainment value?

 

[Pointless Sperg]

What if Bob had forced Chris to join the army?

Really forced, as in got him up for morning 5 mile runs and 50 good form chin ups everyday, so he would pass the fitness test.

We've covered this before, the Army hasn't accepted tards since the massive failure of McNamara's Folly. And even then those were tards that started out in better shape than Chris.

The day the Army accepts Chris, you'll know we're fucked because it means there's ten million screaming Chinese streaming off troop ships in California.

 

[A-№1]

We've covered this before, the Army hasn't accepted tards since the massive failure of McNamara's Folly. And even then those were tards that started out in better shape than Chris.

I believe the current IQ bottom limit is 80. Since Chris "graduated" high school, he's at least that on paper. I can see the military accepting classic Chris until they get his ASVAB back covered with badly drawn electric hedgehog pokemons. Current year troon nightmare Chris? Not a chance.

Also the problem with McNamara's Morons is they tried to send them into combat like regular soldiers. If they'd stuck them in low aptitude logistical and support positions they could have freed up more competent men better suited to fighting. I mean someone has to clean the latrines.

 

[FinnSven]

I believe the current IQ bottom limit is 80. Since Chris "graduated" high school, he's at least that on paper. I can see the military accepting classic Chris until they get his ASVAB back covered with badly drawn electric hedgehog pokemons. Current year troon nightmare Chris? Not a chance.

Also the problem with McNamara's Morons is they tried to send them into combat like regular soldiers. If they'd stuck them in low aptitude logistical and support positions they could have freed up more competent men better suited to fighting. I mean someone has to clean the latrines.

Yes, I was thinking a scenario in which Bob followed a “Tough Love” parenting philosophy, forcing Chris to get fit enough and signing up once he was out of high school.

Bob was certainly of the generation which would believe in that.

In this scenario, I am sure chris would end up like that Bob Dautrive character in King Of The hill, probably a military barber too.

At least when he leaves the military and Troons out he could work in a hairdresser.

Edit. As for current troon Chris, surely he is too old?

IIRC, the maximum enlistment age for the British armed forces is 27-30 dependent on branch and whether you go rank and file or officer. Officers can be a bit older.
I am guessing the US military also has an age cap for enlisting?
At 40, Chris must be too old?

 

[Coke Zero]

I believe the current IQ bottom limit is 80. Since Chris "graduated" high school, he's at least that on paper. I can see the military accepting classic Chris until they get his ASVAB back covered with badly drawn electric hedgehog pokemons. Current year troon nightmare Chris? Not a chance.

Also the problem with McNamara's Morons is they tried to send them into combat like regular soldiers. If they'd stuck them in low aptitude logistical and support positions they could have freed up more competent men better suited to fighting. I mean someone has to clean the latrines.

His intelligence level doesn't even matter, the autism would automatically disqualify him from military service. Every single person in the military has to be trained/ready for combat and they're not going to give weapons to people with serious mental health issues.

 

[A-№1]

Yes, I was thinking a scenario in which Bob followed a “Tough Love” parenting philosophy, forcing Chris to get fit enough and signing up once he was out of high school.

Bob was certainly of the generation which would believe in that.

Bob was also of the generation that believed in military schools. Shipping Chris off to a military academy might not have been as good for him as the short bus "special" school, but surely it would have been better than mainstreaming him.

Edit. As for current troon Chris, surely he is too old?

For Chris, definitely. He's more trouble than he's worth. For normal people it depends on how desperate they are for bodies and how well you score on the aptitude test. Also any prior enlistment you might have. Of course you'd still have to pass basic.

His intelligence level doesn't even matter, the autism would automatically disqualify him from military service.

But Chris is "high functioning". Also they'd run their own evaluation on Chris instead of relying on the word of a quick survey done by an elementary school.

they're not going to give weapons to people with serious mental health issues.

The military is in the business of giving people serious mental health issues. This is only partly a joke.

I know a bipolar person who managed to keep it together long enough to finish his four years of active service. It's a shame he went to pieces after he got out, but at least he has VA benefits.

And again, it depends on how desperate they are for bodies.

 

[Coke Zero]

But Chris is "high functioning". Also they'd run their own evaluation on Chris instead of relying on the word of a quick survey done by an elementary school.



The military is in the business of giving people serious mental health issues. This is only partly a joke.

I know a bipolar person who managed to keep it together long enough to finish his four years of active service. It's a shame he went to pieces after he got out, but at least he has VA benefits.

And again, it depends on how desperate they are for bodies.

And you think the military would be ok with whatever evaluation they would do on chris?

Obviously there are people who get in with mental health conditions that are either undiagnosed or haven't fully developed or got worse yet but you're not getting in if these conditions are known prior to you trying to sign up.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

I believe the current IQ bottom limit is 80. Since Chris "graduated" high school, he's at least that on paper. I can see the military accepting classic Chris until they get his ASVAB back covered with badly drawn electric hedgehog pokemons. Current year troon nightmare Chris? Not a chance.

Based on his homework, if they even let him get that far, Chris would easily be in the bottom 5% percentile of ASVAB scores. He might be smart enough to beat some of the stupider candidates, but his ability to follow instructions is so bad he'd be one of the worst of the worst.

Also the problem with McNamara's Morons is they tried to send them into combat like regular soldiers. If they'd stuck them in low aptitude logistical and support positions they could have freed up more competent men better suited to fighting. I mean someone has to clean the latrines.

They use civilian contractors for a lot of that now. Latrine maintenance by military personnel is mostly limited to training and forward deployments, so most toilets are cleaned by some hired janitor. The Navy being the big exception since you can't hire contractors to scrub the toilets on ships at sea.

 

[A-№1]

And you think the military would be ok with whatever evaluation they would do on chris?

Again, it depends on how desperate they are for bodies.

Chris is far from the worst candidate the military has accepted. Autism is not like SAD or bipolar or other disorders, and there are degrees of autism. Also Chris is mostly just very, VERY lazy, and the military has ways of dealing with that.

his ability to follow instructions is so bad he'd be one of the worst of the worst.

Is Chris actually unable to follow directions, or just unwilling?

latrine maintenance by military personnel is mostly limited to training and forward deployments

Forward deployments are where clean latrines are most appreciated.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Is Chris actually unable to follow directions, or just unwilling?

With Chris' pathology I'd argue that he's unable to be willing.