Containment What If?

What if Chris worked for TNA?
With the boneheaded decisions Dixie has made in the past, she would probably put him on color commentary to replace Taz. If Russo was still working for them, I would say that he would make Chris X Division Champion and manage to get Barb in on the action in a situation much akin to Judy Bagwell years prior.
 
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With the boneheaded decisions Dixie has made in the past, she would probably put him on color commentary to replace Taz. If Russo was still working for them, I would say that he would make Chris X Division Champion and manage to get Barb in on the action in a situation much akin to Judy Bagwell years prior.

So you're saying it would be an improvement?
 
What if Chris had invisibility powers?
I would say the women's locker room at the Y, but he lacks motivation and his sighing will give him away. Same goes for him trying to escape the popo if he gets off with a less than stellar sentence in court.
 
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He would make one desperate perv a lucky man.

What if Chris turned out to have a Mr. Hands type fetish.
 
What if Chris turned out to have a Mr. Hands type fetish.

That's why centaurs came to being.

Centaure_Malmaison_crop.jpg
 
He would have his soldiers dress up like Sonic the Hedgehog, wear a Sonichu costume all day and attack any army that had blue armed uniforms.

What if Chris wasn't encouraged by people to dress up like a homeless bag lady and act like the biggest retard in the state? Would his quality of life be better or worse?
 
What if Chris was a Sultan?
He'd take girls prisoner and force them to date him. Before the third date, however, said girls would kill themselves to avoid the 'prospect of their sex time together', so ultimately, there'd be one called Megan Scheherazoedinger that avoids the infernal third date by telling the Sultan stories of Sonichu every night... 1001 'episodes' to be precise.
The collection of stories would go down in history as the "arabian plight".
 
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