Containment What If?

[Vault Boy]

What if Chris was chosen to become a Spartan II from Halo?

 

[animedad]

What if Chris saw Kiwi Farms get shut down permanently and shit himself in glee?

He would take all the credit for it as though his valiant efforts as the bruised-and-battered hero have not been in vain.

 

[normankrasner]

What if Chris(tine) was a Presidential candidate?

 

[David Chuggins]

What if Chris was into creepypastas?

 

[Mangosteen]

What if Chris was a normal, productive member of society?

 

[TaterBot]

What if someone reported Chris for Social Security and IRS fraud?

 

[Mangosteen]

What if someone decided to literally Kick the Autistic with Chris?

 

[MrJakeTerror]

What if Chris were Italian?

LOTSA SPAGHETTI!

What if Chris was a normal, productive member of society?

This site wouldn't exist.

What if someone decided to literally Kick the Autistic with Chris?

Considering that such activity could be considered a borderline hate crime, and the context of the name constitutes that the kicking was planned (therefore, first-degree assault). And that the legal system regardless of Chris's past history of violating the law would have to carry out a fair and unbiased court case based solely on facts, evidence, and a jury of peers. As long as Chris doesn't do anything that could hurt his case like mace the attacker, sleep in on a court day, the odds will be in his favor. Of course he'll fuck everything up.

What if someone reported Chris for Social Security and IRS fraud?

Nothing too serious. Worst case scenario, Chris could lose his tugboat and they get audited. Typical Bureaucrat bullshit. Also, the person who reported the Chandlers would have to pay for the house call.

As a continuation of the second one I answered, What if Chris was a productive Spergy lolcow.

 

[Apocalypso]

What if Bob was pregnant with Chris and gave birth to him, not Barb?

 

[jacobsonic]

What if Chris let out a fart that smelled so bad it wiped out all of Virginia?

 

[MrJakeTerror]

What if Chris let out a fart that smelled so bad it wiped out all of Virginia?

Pros: He could get away with everything he wanted to in the state of Virginia without facing any legal consequences.
Cons: He would have to drive out of state to find a new lesbar to frequent.
Pro to said Con: Barb isn't alive to change the locks on him if he travels.

 

[Vault Boy]

What if Chris became a werewolf?

 

[Apocalypso]

What if Chris became a werewolf?

There'd be more shit on the rug.

 

[Rize Kamishiro]

What if (adult) Chris had been O.J. Simpson's lawyer?

 

[ZehnBoat]

What if Chris became a werewolf?

warren zevon wouldn't have made a song about him

 

[AnOminous]

What if (adult) Chris had been O.J. Simpson's lawyer?

Pretty much the same thing. But he would have won with the Sonichewbacca Defense.

 

[Somar]

What if Chris tried to help Donald Trump win the election?

 

[normankrasner]

What if Chris(tine) was a weather predicting groundhog?

 

[Vault Boy]

What if Chris tried to help Donald Trump win the election?

He'd fail miserably, and Trump would try to blacklist him for revenge.

What if Chris was a Redshirt from Star Trek?

 

[Milktheturtle]

What if Chris was a Redshirt from Star Trek?

Pretty much the same thing that happened with every Redshirt,but with a little more