Containment What If?

[A-№1]

Chris is exactly the kind of person who should be kept away from it.

Along with all other media.

Chris treats porn in the same way he treats Sonic cartoons, ponies, and all other media. The only difference is cartoon ponies etc. are for children, so his use appears stupid and childish, whereas porn is for adults, so his (mis)use of porn is icky.

 

[Elämällä on väliä]

What if Bob died 15 years faster? In 1996? When Chris was only 14 years old?

 

[Ser Ciappelletto]

No offence, but that sounds like one of those really autistic timelines on alternatehistory.com about how if the Nazis hadn't been total retards they would have won WW2.

The Nazis were always going to be retards because it was in their nature. Chris was always going to be a total perv because it was in his nature. Unless Chris got therapy as a kid, which would never have happened, his efforts to find a boyfriend-free girl wouldn't have worked.

If Chris had been just the right amount of obnoxious dweeb he would have at least been tolerable enough for her. They were both late twenty somethings hanging out in a children's card shop so it's not like she had tons of high quality JERKS to choose from. Chris was probably a substantial amount of physical male interaction for her at that time.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

If Chris had been just the right amount of obnoxious dweeb he would have at least been tolerable enough for her. They were both late twenty somethings hanging out in a children's card shop so it's not like she had tons of high quality JERKS to choose from. Chris was probably a substantial amount of physical male interaction for her at that time.

doubtful, she had quite a bunch male friends. She was just a weeb, and a nice person who tried to refrain from kicking the autistic

 

[Elämällä on väliä]

Meghan like miss McL. probably has some own issues, or at least it was true in that dark days of hanging with hedgehog boy. So I'm not sure if she was able to enter into healthy relationship that days.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

What if Chris didn't incest Barb?

What would he be up to now?

 

[Golgo 13]

What if Chris didn't incest Barb?

What would he be up to now?

The same e begging and stupid shit he was doing before the incest.

 

[thegooddoctor]

Chris didn't get freaky until porn exposure. While normally I think people clutch pearls too much over porn, Chris is exactly the kind of person who should be kept away from it.

Porn is bad for kids because they have trouble separating media from reality. It's why we keep it away from them. But kids who've seen porn still usually grow up and make that distinction, the same way they stop thinking they have superpowers and imaginary friends, so I think the worries about lasting damage are overblown.

But for an eternal child like Chris that NEVER grows up? Porn is devastating.

Like I said on our Random questions main thread, what if Chris was asexual and was never interested in girls to him to begin with? If you completely removed the sexual part of Chris’s personality he would have been an infinitely more likable person. Hell he only was interested in his Lego’s Sonichu comics and Video games and hobbies is it possible Chris would’ve never become a lolcow. He’d still be an autistic Manchild who lives at home, but he’s be much more innocent and have a much less gross aura about him.

Honestly when you look at it, 90% of all Chris’s problems came from putting his penis above everything else, he never became famous because of Sonichu no he became famous for being an extremely creepy, egotistical retarded pervert with a history of stupid beliefs and and antisocial behaviour. I’d he had never once shown interests in sex or girls and only cared about drawing and promoting his Masterwork Sonichu, what would he turned out to be like? Would he be happier and have had a better life?

 

[ABE LINN COHN]

What if Chris didn't incest Barb?

What would he be up to now?

He would've gone to that convention and would be sitting comfortable making money through commissions. It really is the worst possible timeline, just as his life seemed to be looking up he goes and ducks his mom.

 

[FinnSven]

Chris through uncharacteristic motivation and personal responsibility for self preservation hit the gym and heavy bag hard in jail?

Granted he will never become rock solid, but he may be able to fight off some assailants, thus giving him some previously unknown self confidence.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

90% of all Chris’s problems came from putting his penis above everything else

That's a way Chris is disturbing: he has the mind of an egotistical little boy, along with a sex drive from the deformed body of a man.

would've gone to that convention

Oh yeah, that convention he would've been on a plane to go to. How would the flight have gone?

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Oh yeah, that convention he would've been on a plane to go to. How would the flight have gone?

Based on the shit Chris does at courthouse security, airport security would have been a nightmare. Ten billion layers of jewelry, with everyone in line behind him wanting to murder him.

Once on the plane, he'd probably be okay but maybe do his stupid sing or mutter to himself thing. However the awful scenario would be anyone unfortunate enough to be his seatmate, especially if it were a woman. Hopefully Chris would shower beforehand (he's been better about that lately), but you can't count on it. Either way, they would be guaranteed to hear absolutely fucking everything about Sonichu, the trolls, the dimensional merge, etc.

 

[GumballFapper]

Once on the plane, he'd probably be okay but maybe do his stupid sing or mutter to himself thing. However the awful scenario would be anyone unfortunate enough to be his seatmate, especially if it were a woman. Hopefully Chris would shower beforehand (he's been better about that lately), but you can't count on it. Either way, they would be guaranteed to hear absolutely fucking everything about Sonichu, the trolls, the dimensional merge, etc.

You forgot being gassy, apparently the reason he was banned from Anytime Fitness was constant farting and burping.
Imagine the unlucky bastard who would've sat behind Chris

 

[A-№1]

Once on the plane, he'd probably be okay but maybe do his stupid sing or mutter to himself thing. However the awful scenario would be anyone unfortunate enough to be his seatmate, especially if it were a woman.

Oh God. Just picture yourself in your seat watching Chris slowly waddle down the aisle towards you, thinking to yourself, "Not here! Not Here! Not here!"

And of course he would want the window seat.

Chris is why airlines can charge extra for first class.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Oh God. Just picture yourself in your seat watching Chris slowly waddle down the aisle towards you, thinking to yourself, "Not here! Not Here! Not here!"

And of course he would want the window seat.

Chris is why airlines can charge extra for first class.

Domestic first class is usually so shitty (Jetblue Mint and the sadly-no-more Virgin America first class excepted) that I'm left wondering why the fuck I paid for it, other than not having my knees crushed. But you reminded me.

Spirit is brilliant for including a premium seat product at a decent price, merely to let there be a part of the plane where you don't have to deal with shit. The seats are the same crappy domestic first class seats as any other US carrier, but they make it clear that you're paying just so you can sit up front without having to touch anyone.

 

[A-№1]

Domestic first class is usually so shitty (Jetblue Mint and the sadly-no-more Virgin America first class excepted) that I'm left wondering why the fuck I paid for it, other than not having my knees crushed. But you reminded me.

There's a reason why I prefer to take red-eye flights. If you've ever been on a near empty 747, you'll understand why.

Edit: God I miss Pan Am

 

[ToroidalBoat]

"Not here! Not Here! Not here!"

What could be even worse is if SpaceX actually pulled off the Mars thing, but Chris somehow went along for the ride.

It's a months-long trip just one way.

window seat

Can you imagine liking to look out the window, but you can't because Chris is in the window seat?

 

[A-№1]

but Chris somehow went along for the ride.

There would definitely be some fuel savings on the return trip.

 

[Ophelia]

Can you imagine liking to look out the window, but you can't because Chris is in the window seat?

I can imagine having to get up every fifteen minutes for him to use the bathroom.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

There's a reason why I prefer to take red-eye flights. If you've ever been on a near empty 747, you'll understand why.

Overnight train with sleeper car. Private bed to sleep in with better food. Can just show up and get on it without airport shenanigans. Takes way longer than the redeye but a billion times less stressful.

Domestic 747s are gone. Hell, most domestic widebodies are gone now, everything is a narrowbody that they attempt to keep stuffed 100% full. No decent seats unless you are doing a few specific transcon routes and pay through the nose for Polaris/Mint.

COVID sort of gave us a break in that they kept the middle seats empty for a while.

Edit: God I miss Pan Am

Never had the chance to. (Well I guess they technically still existed at one point in my life, but...)

I got to fly TWA once.

The domestic airline I miss is Virgin America. I guess that was my Pan Am. Amazing service and amazing seats. Even short haul flights had nice big lie-angled first class seats (not quite lie-flat but close enough). 55 inches of pitch.