Containment What If?

During the height of the pandemic paranoia, I was in a Home Depot and there was a smoking hot woman who I presumed was of Norwegian descent in a 3M 6300 series mask with P100 organic vapor cartridges, gloves, and safety glasses buying tung oil, red spray paint, and twenty 2 x 4s of a grade of warped that can only be had at Home Depot. I wondered why she wasn't wearing a Tyvek suit as well but didn't complain because of the yoga pants she had on.

But now I know what I'd be wearing if I was ever in the same State as Chris.
You described her safety loadout like some people describe high-end parts on a sports car.
 
What if, at the moment Chris got the sweepstakes prize, he was overcome with a vision of the lolcow future that awaited him?

(sort of like that "PTSD cupcake dog" meme)

:thinking:
I think he’d just be shocked at first, and then forget all about it a few minutes later gawping and drooling over his new toys and sonic game’s. Then he’d be like Hmm, yeah, and forget all about it. Really made Inpact didn’t it?😒
 
I think he’d just be shocked at first, and then forget all about it a few minutes later gawping and drooling over his new toys and sonic game’s. Then he’d be like Hmm, yeah, and forget all about it. Really made Inpact didn’t it?😒
It would have more of an impact on Bob. Bob if he saw what Chris would become would do a lot of things differently.
 
What if Chris had all through life taken every pickle he ever found, rather than running away from them, and bent them at an angle. Would his own duck have stayed undeformed somehow?
 
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What if a white knight knowing Chris's insatiable appetite for SEX bought him a life-like sex doll. Then convinced Chris that the doll was alive. She (the doll) communicated through phone by sending messages psychically. All Chris needed is to download the correct app that'll open a portal. Something like Replicant (?) or whatever companion app. Chris could possibly stop pestering real life women and maybe not gone after that Barbussy (unless you know he broke the doll by not cleaning/using alcohol based products)
 
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Overnight train with sleeper car. Private bed to sleep in with better food. Can just show up and get on it without airport shenanigans. Takes way longer than the redeye but a billion times less stressful.

Domestic 747s are gone. Hell, most domestic widebodies are gone now, everything is a narrowbody that they attempt to keep stuffed 100% full. No decent seats unless you are doing a few specific transcon routes and pay through the nose for Polaris/Mint.

COVID sort of gave us a break in that they kept the middle seats empty for a while.



Never had the chance to. (Well I guess they technically still existed at one point in my life, but...)

I got to fly TWA once.

The domestic airline I miss is Virgin America. I guess that was my Pan Am. Amazing service and amazing seats. Even short haul flights had nice big lie-angled first class seats (not quite lie-flat but close enough). 55 inches of pitch.
Widebodies? Supersonic Travel? Leg room? Silly goy, ur gonna sit on that cramped A320 with 36 inches of seat width for 8 hours and like it! Now bend over, I have ta check your assholes.
 
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Widebodies? Supersonic Travel? Leg room? Silly goy, ur gonna sit on that cramped A320 with 36 inches of seat width for 8 hours and like it! Now bend over, I have ta check your assholes.

A 36 inch wide seat would be godly. Cathay Pacific is the only airline with a first class seat that wide. Any larger and you have to go with those crazy suites on middle eastern airlines.

I assume you mean seat pitch though, and I don't know where you've been but 36 inches in economy is long dead. You have to pay for premium economy to get that. Regular domestic economy averages around 31 inches, but can go as low as 28 (Spirit Air).
 
A 36 inch wide seat would be godly. Cathay Pacific is the only airline with a first class seat that wide. Any larger and you have to go with those crazy suites on middle eastern airlines.

I assume you mean seat pitch though, and I don't know where you've been but 36 inches in economy is long dead. You have to pay for premium economy to get that. Regular domestic economy averages around 31 inches, but can go as low as 28 (Spirit Air).
No I just pulled a random number out of my ass that I thought sounded small, I'm not an expert in aircraft seat size.
 
No I just pulled a random number out of my ass that I thought sounded small, I'm not an expert in aircraft seat size.

Protip: Visit seatguru when you're planning your next flight to find out how bad a particular seat is going to suck. Economy is miserable on pretty much all domestic flights these days, but some seats are basically medieval torture devices.

Economy on Delta's A220's is actually somewhat tolerable in comparison. They're around 31 inches in pitch like everyone else, but the low number of middle seats and 18.6 inch seat width makes them nicer than most. (Spirit is 17.75 inches wide, for example). It makes it easier to avoid having constantly physical contact with the person next to you.

Also to keep this on-topic. What if Chris flew on Spirit Air? Do you think he'd piss someone off enough to cause a brawl?
 
Protip: Visit seatguru when you're planning your next flight to find out how bad a particular seat is going to suck. Economy is miserable on pretty much all domestic flights these days, but some seats are basically medieval torture devices.

Economy on Delta's A220's is actually somewhat tolerable in comparison. They're around 31 inches in pitch like everyone else, but the low number of middle seats and 18.6 inch seat width makes them nicer than most. (Spirit is 17.75 inches wide, for example). It makes it easier to avoid having constantly physical contact with the person next to you.

Also to keep this on-topic. What if Chris flew on Spirit Air? Do you think he'd piss someone off enough to cause a brawl?
Chris is a notorious public farter, if he doesn't get thrown off the plane due to going in to the hedgehog defensive position then he's going to start a passenger riot from his repeated loud farting.
 
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