Containment What If?

Now I'm aware there's already a post called "What if CURSE-YE-HA-ME-HAs actually worked?". Someone even responded to that post by saying they actually do kind of work since all Chris has to do is wait for some minor misfortune to fall on the person he performed it on (which happens to everyone, just a part of life obviously) to convince himself it worked and that he's a demigod.

The purpose of this topic, however, is to step things up a notch. What if Chris actually had real godlike abilities, such as telekinesis? What if he had the power to literally do what Carrie did at the prom every time someone wronged him? What would his life be like? What would the world be like?

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I'd like to think that pre-tomgirl Chris would meet the current Chris and he would stay the pre-tomgirl trollbait that provided us with many lulz.
 
Pikonic said:
B) Cry, get depressed, do nothing, and have an earlier end to "classic and comical" Chris
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This is the most likely answer.

But I would like to see what Past-Bob and Past-Barb would think of current Chris.
 
Evidently I would wake up homeless now.

What if Catparty was a secretary? Discuss.
 
AtroposHeart said:
Surprise no one has mentioned this, but from what I understand the men banging the hot chicks in porn almost always start out in the gay porn scene. You have to work your way up the ladder to sleep with women.
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Pretty much. Paying your dues, so to speak. And Chris seems like a bottom...
 
Given his mastery of Spanish I expect Chris to find great success during the dozen or so minutes he remains employed.
 
I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, so not too different, except for that the weather is pretty good (aside from fog), and Chris would probably be chewed out for his hatred of gay people, especially in SF proper.
 
I got as far as 'What if Chris worked...' and instantly my brain went "nope, never gonna happen".
 
I'm just curious, would he look with the first and biggest smile he's ever had?
 
Re: His first reaction if he saw Sonichu alive in the real w

He'd try to plug him into a faulty basement bathroom wall socket, har har har har har.

Will we get his used pornography?

One DVD each to the first 56 contributors?

Assuming it wasn't destroyed in the massive house fire, of course.
 
What kind of tactics, gear, and weaponry would he use? Would he prefer field or CQB games? Would his DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS give away his position on the battlefield?
 
He'll have everything he'll need than what he'll want. But he wouldn't be smart enough on how to use his needs. Fuck! He doesn't even know how to shampoo his own head for crying out loud even if we bought him shampoo!
 
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