Containment What If?

He'd get a room full of his very own imps dressed like :pickleman:s to spend every waking moment screaming :julay: :julay: :julay: in his ears.
 
He'd probably bumble around explaining to anyone/anything that would listen (or stand still) that he was a just person who was ruined by ]:(P and should be in Heaven while complaining about the lack of vidya and Crayola products. Also :briefs: .
 
what if chris didn't shit himself or do nothing all the while not being gay[/quote]
He'd talk to Sonichu the whole time, while Sonichu makes pizza for his heartsweet.

DIRTY, CRAPPED CRACK

He'd get sent back to Earth because the smell of DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS burning would be so intolerable.

He'd still be stalking Megan (poorly), and he'd be doing the same shit that he used to do, just without anyone to discourage his sweetheart search.

Let's say that Chris acquired super powers, possibly from exposure to :briefs: . What would he call himself? What would his super powers be? Who would his arch-enemy be?
 
The answer to this question is the same as the answer to such timeless hits as "What if Chris joined the military?", "What if Chris was in a gang?" and "What if Chris bought a gun?"


he would get shot.

A lot.
 
I used to do it with my friends and bro about 10 years ago when I was younger and imported my own Tokyo Marui AK47 and everything.

There was one time a big fat dude came and it was funny cause he had my mate pinned down behind a tree so I went round the other side and started shooting and it was comical because he was this big dude hiding behind a way too tiny tree to offer any kind of cover so I was shooting him for a minute and shouting at him because once you're hit you are meant to go to the start and time out for 30 secs before coming back into the game but this guy kept pretending he wasn't getting hit when you could clearly see the white BB's hit and bounce off him and land all around him at one point I was shooting his ears and neck he was screaming and then still pretending he wasn't getting hit until a Warden came and dragged him off for the rest of the game. Also some of the older guys with hundreds worth of fancy equipment would be dead salty if you got them and straight up stone cold lie to the Wardens about being tagged by kids like us running around like mad men while they were doing SWAT tactics and shit. That was the downside of it compared to paintball a lot of times until you became a regular face and the Wardens took your side.

Also at the place I used to do it the small sessions would last a full 9am-9pm and the long sessions would be over a whole weekend with night attacks and everything so he'd probably quit after the first morning game lol.
 
Terrible shot and would be shot at endlessly. A fat smelly moving target : Hi A-log!:

Let's say Chris is having a wonderful day at the Get-Tar Region ( the store has forgotten about banning him in 2005).

He is just having a delightful time checking out the vidya, trying to make the moves on the pretty checkout girl, and abusing the free re-fill soda policy at the get-tar fast food joint.

Suddenly as he is walking in the media section he sees Mary Lee Walsh, Michael Snyder, Meghan, Lucas and Mimms all hanging out together. "Well, well well gang!' Snyder says with a sneer. "Look who it is!" "It's the loser who thought he could find true love with me! What a fool!" Meghan says with shrill cackle.

"Hahaha!" Mary lets out a hoarse laugh. " Don't you remember my dear? YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE AT ALL! I will NEVER let you have it!" Michael saunters slowly over to Chris only inches from his face. " Im only gonna say this to you once chump. Beat it. Scram. Get outta town. We don't wanna see your face around here no more!"

Chris is feeling an number of things at this point. Anger, rage, fear sadness. Thing is: What does he do? Run like a little coward? try to take them all down at once? Curse-ye-ha-me ha?
 
A very loud CURSE-YE-HA-ME-HA followed by Chris yelling "I'LL BE BACK!". Chris then runs out to the parking lot, gets into his car, and then drives it right into the Get-Tar Region in an attempt to run over Michael Snyder and his crew. After this happens, Mary Lee Walsh summons the Jerkops, and then the Jerkhief and Officer Bagget dogpile onto Chris and hog-tie him, resulting in :briefs:. Chris is escorted home by the jerkops, and begins to rant on Facebook about the JERKOPS and the DANG, DIRTY TROLLS who dragged him through the worst muck and bodily fluids an autistic person has. :C
 
What if Chris played Airsoft... with ParkourDude91?
 
Ziltoid said:
What if Chris played Airsoft... with ParkourDude91?
Click to expand...

Parkourdude would be doing cartwheels while doing his 'HAAH basically I'm a Marine dude HAAH Sempfer fedoodles.' routine as he tactically does a jump off a rock to shoot CWC with his airsoft Deagle. CWC would then run away and make a Facebook status about DANG DIRTY TROLLS, and probably over-exaggerate by claiming he was just shot by an agent send by Snyder and Megan.

Then the highly concentrated amount of autism would then cause the field to implode.
 
Everyone, including his own teammates, would gang up on him and shoot him all at once while screaming "SONIC IS DEAD!" at the top of their lungs, causing Chris to squirm around on the ground tard raging, immediately causing :briefs: like never before.
 
Batman said:
This would only ever happen in Chris' mind, as you know these people were never out to hurt Chris, even though he hurt a fair number of them.
Click to expand...


Lol I know. I think it would probably be the story of another Sonichu comic, should Chris-Chan ever decide to write it again.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back