Containment What If?

I think it's a huge moot point considering Chris has always been requesting in his Love Quest a woman at least 18 years of age, so he probably already has some concept of what pedophilia is.
 
I imagine that it'd probably end up being like that sign language interpreter at Nelson Mandela's funeral. People would wonder how the hell he got hired in the first place. He'd eventually lose his job and whomever hired him would probably be in some deep doggy-doo for a while for hiring an incompetent worker.

I can see Barb starting to lean on Cole to either move down with them or for him to move the both of them into a place in New York. I can actually see Chris potentially doing well in NYC, depending on where he went. He'd definitely not be the weirdest or craziest person out there.

I can potentially see someone unstable kidnapping Chris for the lulz on the spur of the moment. Maybe doing it because he came out and screamed at them while they were spraypainting JULAY across his car or something along those lines. They freak and clock him over the head, then decide it'd be great fun to dump him outside of a gay bar somewhere. Eventually they panic, realizing that they have just committed a felony.

Police are called by someone. A BOLO is put out, but few generally care because he's not a kid, a woman, or attractive. Chris is eventually found after they dump him on the side of the road a few cities away. He returns home and posts about his experiences on facebook. Even fewer people care.
 
Stratochu said:
A demented Armin Meiwes wannabe who doesn't care that Chris tastes like a nasty mixture of q-sands, Mighty Wings, mildew, shit and Febreze and not like long pork, most likely carries kuru prions, and doesn't care that his pickle would be covered with shit if he tried assraping Chris before cannibalizing him..
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Jeffery Dahmer fucked corpses, that sounds way worse than having sex with Chris. I'm sure that there are certain depraved people who would love to have their way with Chris. But other than that I think you're more or less right, a serial killer situation is the only way I can see Chris getting kidnapped. There's no monetary gain to be made by asking Barb to ransom him.

As to how Barb will react, I don't it's an exaggeration to say that if OPL were to go missing his mother will die. Her relationship with Chris is the only meaningful thing she still has, losing it would drive her to a catatonic state and eventual death from self neglect.
 
What if Chris was openly gay? What if Chris was Michael Bay?
 
his body would mummify like that woman in Detroit and be discovered years later due to his lack of contact with anyone, no one would come looking
 
They'd most likely not naturally mummify. If anything, they'd rot and their corpses would bloat in the heat of the house, burst from the gases, and smell would get people's attention.
 
He'd shit himself and do nothing...because he's dead.

This is a dark what if, but you have a point. If Chris died in his house alone nobody would find him for who knows how long?
Shit, man.
 
Happens all the time unfortunately.

Were this the classic era someone might inform the cops or whoever checks on shut-ins to see if they're still alive after a few days without videos. But now we're used to going months with no posts by him on Facebook, and even years could pass before someone goes "Say, has anyone heard from Chris lately?"
 
If Chris was too wimpy for the Boy Scouts there's no way he'd make it in military school, although I would love to see Chris go against a drill sergeant.
 
What if he had never uttered that during his sex tape? Or there was no audio in the video? What, in your opinion would be the most recognizable cwcism?
What could possibly have the same singularity that would feed prank calling weens?
 
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He'd have some very interesting conversations with Coleslaw.
 
GrandNumberOfPounds said:
If Chris was too wimpy for the Boy Scouts there's no way he'd make it in military school, although I would love to see Chris go against a drill sergeant.
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WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION, NUMBNUTS!?
" I stuff vegetables down my throat! I stuff green beans! I stuff broccoli! I stuff corn! I stuff carrots! "
 
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