Containment What If?

I'm going to assume that he goes for the more dramatic angle copying Homer Simpson from that episode with the same plot. So he would decide to spend his last moments with his loved ones. However the only person he has is :snorlax: and I'd bet she would just make him feel guilty for dying, then go to sleep. Finally Chris would shit himself and do nothing.
 
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However... thats basically it. Still a dirty, unhygenical mess, still living with mom, still playing with Pokemon, still doesn't know how to actually talk to girls, still looking like a birdy hillbilly with that long hair, still thinks you talk to girls in the same tone you talk to a baby by cooing and pitching your voice to sound "cute", still thinks women should be the main one to support the house, etc...

Basically the only change to this new Chris is he's now a go-getter and won't ever give up on his Lovequest because he's got the balls to keep pressing forward.

Obviously he won't just do Nothing now, yet I'm sure he'd still shit himself. (and that turns girls off too)
 
What if Chris's hair burned off in the fire and now he has a short hair cut?
I was really wondering this but you know, imagine if I made a thread about it.
 
I think he'd still use the sign but it would become progressively more and more aggressive and hateful.
"I am a single, autistic, heterosexual, tomgirl artist. I am seeking an 18-32 boyfriend free girl to make into a sweetheart from ground up. must be sweet/caring/honest, average/slender body, well informed/expert in sex, DOES NOT ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND, average to high income."

"I am a single, autistic, heterosexual, tomgirl artist. I am seeking an 18-32 boyfriend free girl to make into a sweetheart from ground up. I AM LONELY AND SOCIALLY SHY! YOU must talk to me!"

"I am a single, autistic, heterosexual, tomgirl artist. I am seeking an 18-32 boyfriend free girl to make into a sweetheart from ground up. AND I AM RIGHT HERE LADIES! AM I NOT HANDSOME ENOUGH TO GET YOUR ATTENTION?! GET OFF YOUR BEHINDS AND COME DATE ME!"

"SWELL! I COULD BE DEAD RIGHT HERE AND NONE OF YOU WOULD NOTICE!" (crying sonichu face)

"If any of you immature snobby people want to stop and apologize for hurting my feelings I will consider listening and if you are FEMALE I will CONSIDER making you my sweetheart."

"Frustration is blind, DAMN YOU MEGAN, IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS, I feel lonely and depressed, IT IS A CRIME TO BAN ME!"
 
Yeah. He'd definitely rape a woman. Except CWCki states "Despite your worst fears, Chris won't ever rape anybody, so stop saying that."

But CWCki is down right now. :julay:
 
Sammy said:
Why do we have a "What if..?" board if every answer pertaining to Chris is "Shits himself / do nothing"?
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Better question is why we have almost 2000 people following one sad man in the southeastern US.
Also, I'm feeling serious déjà vu, I feel like I answered this before. Something along the lines of we'd like to see him go out in a blaze of glory but we know he'd just play vidya till he died.
 
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UPDATE: Null's avatar is back to normal, does this make him more or less likely to actually be Alanis Morissette? His avatar is the same and I'm reassured. Help.
 
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"July 20, 2005: … I was at the new Target store, just hanging around, not bothering anyone. And, from out of the blue, these twoManajerks asked me to leave, because they said that I was loitering; I was NOT! I was there hoping to find an 18-23-year old, Boyfriend-Free girl, like I usually do.
Then, from out of the blue, after I told them off, they came back with two Jerkops! I was slightly intimidated, but mostly annoyed and ready to strike back on them. They asked me to leave, and never return. I did not want to leave. I would have left peacefully, in fact, I was ready to go, but I had a prepared speech to say to them stupid Jerkops. And, during the middle of my speech, they chased me, pulled my pants, and pinned me to the floor. Five Jerkops dog-piled on me as I struggled to get free. A thousand pounds of sausages on my 180 pound body was seriously a cut-off for my Breathing Flow. They handcuffed my wrists and legs, and they hog-tied me! Not only did I felt humiliated from being the victim, but I was angry at them! Not only for handcuffing me, but once again thwarting my efforts in trying to find a Boyfriend-Free Girl.
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Something like this or about similar.

Or

He'd try to get pushy with the wrong person and wind up getting decked.
 
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