Containment What If?

He'd take a drag, then get nauseous and lightheaded, puke on himself, and faint.

They'd use him as waterboarding training.
 
He'd cough up both of his lungs.
 
He'd leak his identity faster than you could say Scooter Libby.
 
I think he'd be more of a candidate for MI5.


A good use of his skills would be making disinfo and propaganda for use in target populations. The propaganda would vary from silly things like "I have a fish" to serious stuff about the nation's resources and military capabilities. He would be well paid for his work of course.
 
Aliester Crowley said:
I think he'd be more of a candidate for MI5.


A good use of his skills would be making disinfo and propaganda for use in target populations. The propaganda would vary from silly things like "I have a fish" to serious stuff about the nation's resources and military capabilities. He would be well paid for his work of course.
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Hey, a spreader of misinformation. We finally found a job for Chris! If we could try to make it seem like a game it could be perfect, but it would probably be too much STRESS for him.
 
GrandNumberOfPounds said:
Aliester Crowley said:
I think he'd be more of a candidate for MI5.


A good use of his skills would be making disinfo and propaganda for use in target populations. The propaganda would vary from silly things like "I have a fish" to serious stuff about the nation's resources and military capabilities. He would be well paid for his work of course.
Click to expand...

Hey, a spreader of misinformation. We finally found a job for Chris! If we could try to make it seem like a game it could be perfect, but it would probably be too much STRESS for him.
Click to expand...
Hey, Chris spreads bullshit all the time! Haven't you seen his OKCupid profile? A job in misinformation would be easy for him.
 
Well, he wouldn't be living in the south, that's for sure.
He'd also say "niggos" much more often.
 
Chris either fails the CIA entrance exams or he ends up being a part of some practice procedure within the CIA for training any new guys. Assigning him to any mission would be very moronic considering how he acts in real life.
 
There is the short odds that Barb would want to have a child anyway, since Barb wants a tugboat of her own; its not like Bob or Barb couldn't have decided they didn't want a child and take steps to avoid it. Chris might not be born, but we get a reroll--someone that's born instead of CWC.

At the age of CWC's parents, the odds of Autism are higher. Given CWC's parents, a crappy upbringing is a certainty. You have at best Cole Smithey II, and you may get much worse. You could also get another CWC, and you could also have a female CWC likely encountering similar problems. Indeed, a female CWC might well have problems like Barb--getting taken advantage of for sex and with a bunch of men who simply use her.

No hypothetical child and the marriage breaks down. Bob might do a bit better, in terms of trying to reconcile with his family. Nor will Bob allow Barb to hoard all kinds of things--she probably backs down instead of being a hoarder. Bob dies, but no CWC does him some good. They don't wind up having to leave their church and probably never meet Rocky Shoemaker.

I wonder if the Game Place would still change its name, whether the actions of CWC hurt the company. He certainly did some harassment of other customers there, and obviously Mike Synder is never hit by a car twice.

Megan Schroeder's BF at this time gets rerolled, and it could well end up worse than CWC--for better or worse, CWC isn't really dangerous.

Robert Bell is still a Virginia Assemblyman running for Attorney General in Virginia, I have to think that his treatment of Cyan and Indigo and defending the manchild probably did him no favors, but at least there is one less insane plaintiff to deal with.

And there are other LolCows. We might never get comments like "JULAY!!!" and "Zap to the EXTREME", but CWC hasn't quite made the breakthrough into "irreplaceable" culturally or socially. He might someday get to be a footnote in Wikipedia as he's long tried, but he's not there yet and when he does, it may very well have to do with his life going down the drain.
 
Would he fare any better against all the DANG DIRTY TROLLS those stories seem to have?
 
If Chris was never born, then Reddit would be taking up all my free time instead of these forums.
 
I remember CWC was on the forum that got TOS'd under the name lumberingjack but got julaayed and banned shortly after it was revealed who he was.
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Yeah, but all what he did under that nickname was informing us about the newest Facebook post and then he became silent and used the account just to get DA EVIDENCE to show in the court. However, he had another profile, active somewhere during the summer, it was paintingatree. He managed to write something more, but it was his typical hit-and-run- he posted rarely and never in the same thread again. People thought it was someone trying hard to impersonate Chris, because of course he was defending himself, accused Snyder of ruining his life and pretended to have troll's remorse, urging people to leave him alone because it's gone too far. As for defending himself, he reacted to some posts so emotionally that he seemed to be forgetting about his disguise. Perhaps someone can provide more details.
 
Yeah, I remember some dumb spammer kept saying Chris was paintingatree and that the admins didn't want us to know.

I don't remember reading any of PAT's posts.
 
Well, it was later revealed that paintingatree was indeed Chris. Admins keep it in secret because they didn't want him to be scared away so quickly.

Well, I remember these which made it obvious that he's Chris, but I don't remember the details. Perhaps someone still hoards the files from whole CWCkileaks affair...? :D
 
You might have to edit those last couple of posts because a guy (don't remember who) pointed the finger at someone who registered soon after I posted the OKCupid update, saying they were Chris. The mods told him not to talk about it. If you sort Members by join date you'll see a username not far above mine with the username you mention. Maybe Chris would know better than to use it again and the person who registered with it this time was making a joke but I 'unno.
 
A professional wrestler Chris would have two outfits, the first is a red and blue striped leotard based off his classic shirt, the other would be a blue and white muscle bra with matching speedo since it would be based off his Sonichu form and the muscle bra picture. His rival would either be Hulk Hogan or if we were to go to a figure in Christory, then either Clyde Cash or the real Christian Weston Chandler. Chris' finishing move would be a pathetic version of a leg drop that he would call Office Nasty(it's a somersault leg drop which he can only perform leg drop without some somersault. I looked the move up and apparently it does have the name officer nasty.)
 
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