Containment What If?

Morose_Obesity said:
What if Chris had to travel through alternate realities, destroying all other Chrisses in order to absorb their power and become SuperMega Ultimate Chris with Ultra Shityourself Actionfigure Powe ®
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"Travel" and "Destroy" are verbs, and Chris is too lazy to do that.
"Absorb" would only work if the other Chris' powers came in the form of a My Little Pony Happy Meal from McDonald's.

Garfieldchu said:
He'd fail because nobody would fuck him back then, either.

What if Chris had tried out for cheerleading while in school?
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Well some schools do allow girls with Down's Syndrome be token cheerleaders to help their self esteem.

Apocalypso said:
What if Chris starred in his own musical where the premise was about him overcoming his incontinence?

Christian and The Amazing Technicolor :briefs::briefs::briefs::briefs::briefs::briefs:
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Springtime for Shitler.

Chris loves contests, so what if Chris signed up for a contest to have sex with a famous porn star, and won?

EDIT: - What if Chris was 1/8th British? It would explain this, since Chris is 35, right?
http://news.sky.com/story/loneliness-is-a-silent-epidemic-among-men-in-britain-10861107
"Thirty-five was the average age at which men felt the most lonely, with 9% saying they do not see anyone regularly.

Among the possible reasons are unemployment, relationship break-ups, bereavement or moving away from family and friends."
 
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What if back in the year 2000, 18 year old Chris had a horrifying vision of the depraved, walking freak show he would become 15+ years in the future?

Would he get his act together and try to act like a normal adult and get rid of all the kids crap he was always obsessed with? Would he somehow get even worse by turning tomgirl when he was at PVCC? Would be just shit himself and do nothing?
 
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Broseph said:
What if back in the year 2000, 18 year old Chris had a horrifying vision of the depraved, walking freak show he would become 15+ years in the future?

Would he get his act together and try to act like a normal adult and get rid of all the kids crap he was always obsessed with? Would he somehow get even worse by turning tomgirl when he was at PVCC? Would be just shit himself and do nothing?
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He'd go "Dang! So that's what will happen if I stop my LOVEQUEST" and he'd try even harder for 5 hours then go back to his normal routine and forget all about it.
 
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What if CWC lived in the Girls und Panzer universe? He might try to get on a Sensha-Do team, threatening to sue for discrimination against transsexuals if they don't accept him as a girl and let him play a feminine sport...
 
What if Chris exploded and left behind a swarm of bees?
 
AnOminous said:
What if Chris exploded and left behind a swarm of bees?
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bee-and-girl.jpg
 
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8waifoofever8 said:
What if Chris was the first person to discover aliens?
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Well with Captain Chris-Kirk's taint and his hygiene habits he's sure to discover new life and new civilizations soon somewhere nasty. Whether or not he tries to have sex with it depends on whether a green chick (a darkie) or a white chick evolves from his... essence.

Apocalypso said:
What if Chris wrote the Bible?
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"And Sonichu beget these Sonees..."
Will we have an actor comparable to Charlton Heston to play Chris-Moses in the movie ABC always plays on Easter?

What if Chris and Pauly Shore teamed up to make a movie, Bio Dome 2: Autistic Boogaloo? Special guest stars: Amy Schumer's smelly vagina, Hideo Kojima, Kathy Griffin and the ghost of Patty-chan.
 
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What if Chris tried to mow the lawn with a vacuum cleaner and then vacuumed the carpets with a lawn mower?
 
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