Containment What If?

What if Chris shit himself, but at that very moment in an apartment directly above, a rogue scientist doing tests on radioactive ants knocked over a jar of his infected specimens, one of which, without any hesitation, crawled down one floor and miraculously landed undetected, it viciously bit our lolcow, he screamed in pain, stumbling backwards...

...in a split-second, he found himself in a freefall that sent him squarely through the roof of a vats of acid factory, and into a vat of acid that was tipped over by an errant alien spaceship, carrying Chris blindly on a wave of acid during a solar eclipse on a leap year, precariously careening onto a bomb-testing site, where a cataclysmic explosion exposed our lolcow in waiting to highly toxic radium gases...

...then, as fate would have it, magical storm clouds moved in, zapping Chris with a neon-plaid lightning bolt and raining radioactive ooze, which, through centrifugal and electromagnetic turbulence, caused a powerful earthquake deep in the jungle two-thousand miles away, consequently unearthing a magical crystal with wings that flew to Stinky Winky's exact location, and, powered by super gamma energy currents, piloted him to open skies until, not paying attention, the crystal clipped the top of a billboard, flinging Chris back to his apartment miraculously unharmed, when...

...he proceeded with a movie night and ate slightly overcooked popcorn, when suddenly, an amazing reaction to the overcooked popcorn hit him with a jolt of cosmic super energy, metamorphosing Chris into an incredibly strong, lumpy piece of shit...and then he did nothing?
 
Apocalypso said:
What if Chris shit himself, but at that very moment in an apartment directly above, a rogue scientist doing tests on radioactive ants knocked over a jar of his infected specimens, one of which, without any hesitation, crawled down one floor and miraculously landed undetected, it viciously bit our lolcow, he screamed in pain, stumbling backwards...

...in a split-second, he found himself in a freefall that sent him squarely through the roof of a vats of acid factory, and into a vat of acid that was tipped over by an errant alien spaceship, carrying Chris blindly on a wave of acid during a solar eclipse on a leap year, precariously careening onto a bomb-testing site, where a cataclysmic explosion exposed our lolcow in waiting to highly toxic radium gases...

...then, as fate would have it, magical storm clouds moved in, zapping Chris with a neon-plaid lightning bolt and raining radioactive ooze, which, through centrifugal and electromagnetic turbulence, caused a powerful earthquake deep in the jungle two-thousand miles away, consequently unearthing a magical crystal with wings that flew to Stinky Winky's exact location, and, powered by super gamma energy currents, piloted him to open skies until, not paying attention, the crystal clipped the top of a billboard, flinging Chris back to his apartment miraculously unharmed, when...

...he proceeded with a movie night and ate slightly overcooked popcorn, when suddenly, an amazing reaction to the overcooked popcorn hit him with a jolt of cosmic super energy, metamorphosing Chris into an incredibly strong, lumpy piece of shit...and then he did nothing?
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He'd not shit himself and get up and do something.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Apocalypso
Strelok said:
What if the Axe actually did turn chris gay?
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I imagine someone paying Chris to say “Axe is a gay bomb and is turning the friggin frogs gay." Maybe Chris would believe this and try to sue Unilever for becoming the male lesbian he is is today.

Or Alex Jones catches wind of this, believes Chris is a fellow conspiracy nut and hires Chris to co-host PJW.
 
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Reactions: nodramallama and Marvin
What if CWCVille was a cyberpunk utopia and the Mayoral office/mall is a 102 story mega-skyscraper.
 
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