Healthy_McWrap
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2015
We will never know because it will be lost in the hoard and then incinerated in the next inevitable fire.
Containment What If?
- Thread starter darkhorse816
- Start date
We will never know because it will be lost in the hoard and then incinerated in the next inevitable fire.
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2013
He'd be Linkara
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2014
Last edited:
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
The Mormons would return him within two hours with no ransom.
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
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What if the Tugboat stopped coming? Would Chris get a job? Would he start selling more Lego or medallions? I have a feeling he would go all Ron Pupeil and try to sell Sonichu comics door-to-door. He's seen the movies. Door-to-door salesmen get a lot of tail.
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2014
The moment she realized that object was worth 35k, she'd go "You can have it for 70.000 Dollaridoos. NO HAGGLE!" So basically, even if she was the owner of a mauritius post office stamp in perfect condition, it's pretty much worthless cause she'd try to sell it at a value where noone is going to pay for it.
Oh man, people will flip their shit if they find out Barb actually had genuinely valueable Dali reproductions...
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2014
The first thing Chris would do, would not be getting a job. Maybe eventually.... But he would most certainly start begging and complaining before it even crossed his mind that he needs a job. We'd hear all about the indignity of the situational all throughout. That's for sure. Remember Chris thinks God told him it's okay for him to not work and get free money. He's unemployable at this point, but not due to the autism, due to the years of not doing anything but become an internet lolcow.
Come to think about it he's already started the begging. He even has a facebook photo album dedicated to places he wants you to send him gift cards to. When the house burned down it was time for Chris to man up and start working. But no he whined and begged til he got stuff.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
He'd probably end up homeless. Nobody would hire someone with his freakish mannerisms and lack of hygiene, and if they did, his autistic behavior would soon get him fired. If there was a job that wouldn't fire him, it would basically be as a charity case because he is unlikely to be capable of productive work.
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2014
I agree that he'd get fired or have a hard time finding employment. But his autism only partially contributes to that. There are plenty of people more severely affected by autism that work, they just have his behavioral problems or work ethic. His autism is just a buff that makes his shitty behavior even worse. He's mentally capable of holding down a menial job, just unwilling.
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2014
Speaking from a purely visual standpoint, Chris only needs a trip to the barber and a set of decent clothes to be passable.
He only needs a shower to not turn others away with his BO.
If he manages to keep his stupid outbursts at bay and suppress some of his more crippling mannerims, he could go for some easy menial job.
If it's an easy job reliant on routine that's not involving interaction with other people, Chris could do it.
That's one of the many things that's so crazy about Chris. He's constantly whining about how sucky his life is, but all it would ever take to change it is a bit of effort to not look and smell like a homeless slasher and a bit of self-control.
He only needs a shower to not turn others away with his BO.
If he manages to keep his stupid outbursts at bay and suppress some of his more crippling mannerims, he could go for some easy menial job.
If it's an easy job reliant on routine that's not involving interaction with other people, Chris could do it.
That's one of the many things that's so crazy about Chris. He's constantly whining about how sucky his life is, but all it would ever take to change it is a bit of effort to not look and smell like a homeless slasher and a bit of self-control.
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2014
Respectfully, if Chris was capable of self-control he wouldn't have half the problems he does.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
You're talking about getting a job, not actually keeping one. A set of decent clothes and not being smelly for one day isn't going to cut it.
For one, even for getting a job, it won't get past a job history that literally doesn't exist. "I've never had a job in my freaking life" isn't a resume. They're going to ask why. And he has no good explanation.
Then, getting past getting a job, which isn't itself impossible, but would be difficult even for a normal person with his job history, he has to keep it.
One shower isn't going to do that. He'd need to revolutionize his personal habits to make even basic hygiene a part of them. He'd have to get a habit of actually going to the barber, and actually wearing many sets of decent clothes, washing them, and so on. He'd also have to manage not to sperg out in socially unacceptable ways, not just as long as a job interview, but every single day he goes to work, for at least 40 hours a week.
If he even managed it temporarily, it would lose him his guaranteed tugboat income and have to reapply when he inevitably lost his job, something he wouldn't be capable of navigating easily or without legal assistance, potentially waiting for years to re-qualify.
So it would be a really insanely dumb gamble, even by Chris standards, to throw away a sure thing to make a majorly dicey attempt to get a job and keep one for the rest of his life. If I were advising Chris, I'd say stick with the tugboat.
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
I know time is running out for the elderly who doesnt have a clue about internet and it's phrases, but imagine him applying for a workplace with this old boss who is asking him why he never had a job, and he shouts "The Trolls! The Trolls!"
The boss's mindset would be:
"Thank you, drive through!"
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2013
I know time is running out for the elderly who doesnt have a clue about internet and it's phrases, but imagine him applying for a workplace with this old boss who is asking him why, and he shouts "The Trolls! The Trolls!"
The boss's mindset would be:
"Thank you, drive through!"
More like these little fellas.
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2014
What if Chris did something incredibly hilarious and mind bogglingly stupid...soon...maybe this is less of a "what if" and more of an "I wish...".
Please oh please let him post something stupid soon. :Sigh:
Please oh please let him post something stupid soon. :Sigh:
- Joined
- May 5, 2014
We would stop getting stupid insta-lock threads like this > https://kiwifarms.net/threads/this-horrible-underground-rapper-blasts-on-about-chris-chan.7800/
What if Chris was telekinetic? Like, in the same way that the titular character in Carrie is.
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2014
If this were true...there would actually be some effect of a Curse-ye-ha-me-ha. Could you imagine his ego if his curse attacks even did the slightest physical effect? (even blowing someone's hair back).
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2014