Containment What If?

Aliester Crowley said:
Lady Gaga said:
He would have no idea how to braid his hair.
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Dreadlocks form naturally, so he wouldn't have to work at that.


Dreadlocks are ital, you dig?
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I deeg, mahn.

But then again, he'd fuck it up by trying to braid his hair into cornrows instead of letting the dreadlocks form.
 
No, Mon.

Lady Gaga said:
But then again, he'd fuck it up by trying to braid his hair into cornrows instead of letting the dreadlocks form.
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You miss the two most important things that would stop him from ever converting to Rastafarianism:

1) The Mayor already shot all the Ganja to the Moon.
2) It's a religion of Darkies, by Darkies, for Darkies; and all that Nyabinghi ("Black Victory") rhetoric would give his pasty ass the Prickly Wicklies.
 
What if some poor soul in a foreign country who wanted to improve their English started corresponding with CWC?

What would they learn about American culture and the English language by writing to CWC?
 
Re: No, Mon.

LordCustos3 said:
Lady Gaga said:
But then again, he'd fuck it up by trying to braid his hair into cornrows instead of letting the dreadlocks form.
Click to expand...

You miss the two most important things that would stop him from ever converting to Rastafarianism:

1) The Mayor already shot all the Ganja to the Moon.
2) It's a religion of Darkies, by Darkies, for Darkies; and all that Nyabinghi ("Black Victory") rhetoric would give his pasty ass the Prickly Wicklies.
Click to expand...
Well, he could ignore those things, like he does with quite a few of other things that bother him.
 
The only way Chris would bother writing letters would be if it was in fact a pen galpal.

Then he would constantly talk about hankypanky, marriage and Crystal. The poor lady would get the impression that Americans are 1.) not exactly bright, 2.) obsessed about hankypanky, marriage and god-promised children, 3.) if not talking about these subjects, then most likely about children's cartoon characters and vidya.

What if several lolcows - say Chris, ADF, JustinRPG, DrMusic2, The Unknown Autobot and VenomFangX - decided to team up and become a crew of real-life superheroes? And by this I mean realistic superheroes who fight against villains/problems that are realistically within the reach of lolcows: Cats who are lost up trees, old ladies who have lost their purse or have to cross the street, teenagers who have to be reminded that drugs are bad mkayyyyyy, etc.

What would their base be like? What sort of vehicle would they drive to get into action? What about costumes? And how would it all go and end? Personally, I suspect some involvement of Jerkops and new psychiatric evaluations.
 
If serial killers can manage correspondence in prison, I'm sure Chris could.

I mean, yeah, it'd inevitably end in anger from the pen pal and apathy from Chris, but just for a while, Chris is in contact with someone from such mythical far-away places that are not Ruckersville, Virginia.

How can they team up when they'd just tear each other apart (i.e. wussy slapping and passive-aggressive behavior)?
 
Hmm... I'd say maybe Michelle Pheiffer or however her name is spelled.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/68/Michelle_Pfeiffer_2011.jpg

She's in her 50s now, which would put her at or about MLW's age at the time of the Chriscapades at PVCC. She's pretty good looking for someone her age and she could probably do either character. Of course the alternate MLW would probably be best as a younger person.

I googled lookalikes for MP, and Dianna Agron from Glee came up.

photo.jpg
 
I don't think he'd offer anything real interesting and he'd eventually lose interest. That poor soul.
 
Re: What If The Classic Chris discovered Anthony 'A-Log' Log

It'd be Solid Chris versus Revolver Logatto, a tour de force of idiocy!
 
I will also throw Pixyteri into the mix since she would be the collective brain of the group and has money to fund them. I'm thinking that ADF would buy a beater full-size van off of Craigslist with money strongarmed from Pixyteri, which would then be fingerpainted with wereactors, Sonichu characters, Transformers, Pokemon and Hebrew letters, there would be a lot of fighting, tard rage, road rage, DrMusic2 and Autobot would spend their whole tugboats at THe GAMe PLACe while Chris messed around in Staples with Justin, Pixyteri and ADF in Staples to keep away from Snyder, all of the "superhero" stuff would be carried out badly based on what Chris and Marianna have seen in anime and movies, at least one person would end up physically sick from DrMusic2 and Chris crapping themselves and DrMusic masturbating with her fur "werewolf gloves" to a picture of Jay Leno in public view, and it would all come to an end when ADF gets drunk, Chris grabs the wheel, the van rear-ends a police car and rolls into a drainage ditch.

DrMusic2 tard rages because her toys, including her beloved ragdoll, are ruined by the water from the drainage ditch filling up the van, beats the shit out of the EMT who tries to save her, is arrested for assaulting a public safety officer, and the maximum sentence under law of whatever state it happens in are to be served in a women's prison once she is deported back to New Zealand and added to an INS blacklist. Chris does basically the same thing about his DS, Vita and iPhone and Pixyteri does about her lolita dress, are slapped with the maximum sentence, and ADF ends up paralyzing a police officer by way of a spinal-cord injury and is locked up in a mental hospital for that and everything else. Justin and Autobot go to group homes.
 
The vegan police would subject him to the death penalty
 
He'd be too lazy to actually train them once he got his starter.
Then he'd take it home and forget it in the hoard when it poops everywhere and starts begging for food.
 
Smug Chris would make a proud, condescending return.
 
His DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS wouldn't smell so bad anymore.

Yes, I've heard vegans actually brag that their crap doesn't smell as bad as meat eaters'.
 
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