Containment What If?

No pants required in that love nest! Rika gets CWCs mouth, ADF gets his ass!
 
With everyone self expressing themselves, would Chris be able to handle it?

Better yet, how would Chris express himself?
 
What if finally something snaps in their brains (or what passes for brains in their skulls) and they take their remaining functional car, pack Bob's old shotgun and go on a huge Natural-Born-Killers-style crime spree across the southern US, killing dozens, robbing stores, stealing more guns and ammo as they go, and leave behind a path of destruction?

one upping: What if they take a lolcow of your choice hostage?
 
It wouldn't last very long. Chris would shit himself and start crying (much like the hooker incident) and Snorlax's poor health combined with her son's whining to play games will most likely cause her to abandon any plans. That, and I don't think Barb can part from her stuff for too long either.
 
I see Blurb as Woody Harrelson in this scenario. Someone hide Robert Downey Jr. If anything happened to him I'd be inconsolable.

What if they kidnap Rika and Chris loses his anal cherry to him?
 
Too much running for them. It wouldn't last long.
 
Please. Those two couldn't manage a clean getaway from the GAMe PLACe.
 
The Dude said:
I see Blurb as Woody Harrelson in this scenario. Someone hide Robert Downey Jr. If anything happened to him I'd be inconsolable.

What if they kidnap Rika and Chris loses his anal cherry to him?

Thought he already lost it with :medallion: up his ass.
 
"Next on America's Dumbest Criminals:"
"Number 1: Autistic Manchild and Mom"

"Now I've had a number of run-ins with Christian Chandler Before" Michael Snyder looked directly into the camera. "After his last altercation, he was supposed to get help, instead of, well, you know"

"When most people attempt a robbery, they bring a lethal weapon--a gun, a knife. But what about a Megatron Toy Pistol?"

*Security clip of CWC wandering into CVille Games and Hobbies*
*He Brandishes a toy pistol*
*CVille Employees tackle him and start beating the hell out of him*

"Chris clearly wanted to fight, thought he could rob the store with a toy pistol"

*Mugshot of CWC, he is badly bruised, wearing woman's clothing and the Sonichu Medallion*
"Chris Chandler is now serving a six year sentence for armed robbery"

"His accomplice: His MOTHER"
Comedian: "This is the point where most people decide that they're a terrible parent"
Comedian 2: "Hey, Junior, go in and steal some beer!"
Comedian 3: "Hey, if I had to raise that kid, I'd look something like that too."

"Barbara Chandler is now serving two years for an accessory to robbery"
*Sound of a Jail Door locking*
 
Being away from the hoard would cause too much stress. Those two are way too lazy to constantly be on the move anyway.
 
What if Chris hit the gypsy from the beginning of "Thinner" and received the same curse?

Delete his lack of mental filter and his laziness. (Yeah, two things, sue me.) Maybe then he'd stand a chance in society.

The real "what if" is "what if Chris actually got a job again", since he'll "look" briefly to satisfy whatever sweetheart he's talking to at that point and then claim he's put in an application but hasn't heard back. Short of Barb holding his hand and leading him to businesses to apply and then driving him to every shift, he's never working again.

I doubt abortion would have crossed Barb's mind considering the family's VERY Baptist leanings. Considering that she was acting like a drunk idiot when she met Bob, though, I'm willing to bet that she would have turned to the bottle to ease the pain of Bob's departure. Thus CWC is born with both autism and fetal alcohol syndrome. She tries for a few years, but by the time that Chris enters school it's obvious that something's terribly wrong at home. Child Protective Services intervenes, and thus Our Hero bounces around the foster care system.

tl;dr I think Chris would be in an infinitely worse place that he currently is had Bob not been there.
 
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