Containment What If?

An Ounce of Vagina said:
^Someone somewhere once said that Chris has no understanding of rape. He literally cannot see how sex could ever be a bad thing, or how someone could not consent to sex. The whole concept would mystify him if you tried to explain it. If he saw The Last House On The Left he would think it was a love story, at least until the revenge part.
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He did say he watched some Hentai. In a lot of Hentai movies, rape is rewarded, I'm not trying to sound like a, moral panic, type of guy, but in a lot of them the sex starts off as rape, and then the woman eventually likes it. That's why I think Chris, but even more so, Nick Bate, could never comprehend, sex being a negative. This applies more to Nick Bate, I think though.
 
Picklepower said:
He did say he watched some Hentai ... in a lot of them the sex starts off as rape, and then the woman eventually likes it. That's why I think Chris, ... could never comprehend, sex being a negative.
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You'd probably have to sit him down and try to get him to imagine if he was the Rape-ee and not the Rape-ist.
Even then, it would be difficult for him to grasp it.

You: Okay, Chris....now picture that a big hairy smelly man is trying to have sex with you.
Chris: I'd tell him no. I'M STRAIGHT. I LIKE BOOBIES AND CHINA.
You: He doesn't care what you like. He holds you down and is having sex with you. How do you feel?
Chris: I don't wanna p-pu- I wont wanna put my (*stress sigh*) ...my duck....in his...butthole.h
You: Chris. Pay attention. You aren't penetrating HIM with YOUR Penis. He's penetrating YOU with HIS Penis.

(an entire 60 seconds goes by before he even begins to fully grasp the implications of this)

Chris: Agh!
You: Chris. Chris. What you are feeling now is what Rape is all about. Girls don't like that. It is very traumatic for them.

(Chris is incredulous. He can't process this.)

Chris: B-but they have China. China is for putting the Duck into.
You: But what if they don't want to penetrated?
Chris: (*exasperated*) Dis....Dis is....no. NO. GodJesus would not approve. China is for Duck. Even Dykes know that duck goes in china. Dats why they have the fake, strap-on duck. To put in the china.
You: Think back to the hairy, smelly man penetrating you. A girl can feel the same way.

(This heresy makes no sense to him. So Chris has already closed his mind on the subject and tuned you out. Your ideas have NOT been read fully and your thoughts will NOT be guess inputted. Better improvement is not required. Fuck you for your time and efforts.)
 
LordCustos3 said:
Welp....considering he has no grasp of what the 'male perspective' is, I doubt he'd grasp it.
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Let me rephrase that- it's a fever nightmare from a male perspective, in this case Lynch's. There's no small town, no mystery, it's an overtly blunt visceral story about Man versus his dick. duck.
 
Re: What if *I*...just drew out what I'd do if I had my saga

I really like these, and I look forward to each new one that gets made!
 
Re: What if *I*...just drew out what I'd do if I had my saga

I'm sorry, hmyeah, you have entirely too much artistic talent to take the place of OPC. :tomgirl:

Seriously, though, these are great. Could you imagine if Daniel Clowes drew a Chris book?
 
Speaking as someone who visits the gym a lot, I can say we see no end of people like OPL.
People who turn up, put their five minutes in on a treadmill, get depressed they don't immediately have a rippling eight- pack, and never come back.
Granted, most of these people don't have the hair of a long deceased Mötley Crüe roadie.
 
Re: What if *I*...just drew out what I'd do if I had my saga

aw shucks, you guys :}

I haven't touched this thread in a while, and I've got multiple little projects going on right now, but I've been roughing out more lined paper comic pages (a few different ones, actually, and one not on lined paper) and they're all more or less the same thing, ahahaha.

(confession: I haven't read a comic book in quite some time. Last few I read only kinda stuck with me. Huh)

I'll get back to this, I swear!
 
He'd consider walking from the car to the gym exercise enough and moonwalk out the door as soon as he entered the gym.
 
CDC would be called in as everyone who used the machines after Chris would develop a strange rash.
 
He won't ever go to a gym because

1. He's a lazy slob.

2. Working out causes so much stress.

3. He's a really lazy slob.

4. Having to use the shower with all those other naked males will make him think about teh hoe-moes, as well as horrifying everyone nearby at the sight of his bent duck.

5. He's a really stupid, lazy slob.

6. Exercising takes time away from precious vidya time.

7. Slob. Slobby slob slob slob!
 
Does "I'd probably laugh" count as an answer?

I'd be more interested in the wacky mental gymnastics he'd go through to make the stories all about him. Chris justifying Grave of the Fireflies being about TROLLS and the SOCIALLY INEPT people of Charlottesville would be hilarious and maddening all at once.
 
LordCustos3 said:
Picklepower said:
He did say he watched some Hentai ... in a lot of them the sex starts off as rape, and then the woman eventually likes it. That's why I think Chris, ... could never comprehend, sex being a negative.
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You'd probably have to sit him down and try to get him to imagine if he was the Rape-ee and not the Rape-ist.
Even then, it would be difficult for him to grasp it.

You: Okay, Chris....now picture that a big hairy smelly man is trying to have sex with you.
Chris: I'd tell him no. I'M STRAIGHT. I LIKE BOOBIES AND CHINA.
You: He doesn't care what you like. He holds you down and is having sex with you. How do you feel?
Chris: I don't wanna p-pu- I wont wanna put my (*stress sigh*) ...my duck....in his...butthole.h
You: Chris. Pay attention. You aren't penetrating HIM with YOUR Penis. He's penetrating YOU with HIS Penis.

(an entire 60 seconds goes by before he even begins to fully grasp the implications of this)

Chris: Agh!
You: Chris. Chris. What you are feeling now is what Rape is all about. Girls don't like that. It is very traumatic for them.

(Chris is incredulous. He can't process this.)

Chris: B-but they have China. China is for putting the Duck into.
You: But what if they don't want to penetrated?
Chris: (*exasperated*) Dis....Dis is....no. NO. GodJesus would not approve. China is for Duck. Even Dykes know that duck goes in china. Dats why they have the fake, strap-on duck. To put in the china.
You: Think back to the hairy, smelly man penetrating you. A girl can feel the same way.

(This heresy makes no sense to him. So Chris has already closed his mind on the subject and tuned you out. Your ideas have NOT been read fully and your thoughts will NOT be guess inputted. Better improvement is not required. Fuck you for your time and efforts.)
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This is probably how explaining anything at all to him goes. The only way you'd get him to maybe understand is if you made several "Sonic Sez"'s about it, then a few video games, and rewarded him for the right answers by tossing McNuggets into his open mouth like a seal who just did a trick. Or how they trained chimpanzees to fly spaceships (food for pressing the right button, electric shock for the wrong one).
 
DrChristianTroy said:
Does "I'd probably laugh" count as an answer?
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Yes.

Blue Max said:
Losing a fight is never a good survival strategy; frankly, this might be one of the few things Our Pet Lolcow is pretty much correct on. Still, he does stupid things and can be provoked to do more, so it's not out of the question.

Chris probably craps his pants in the middle of the fighting.
I could see things like his glasses being broken and several bruises. He might have sustained broken bones in the fighting (the collarbone is the most likely to break on a person) and I'd not rule out a trip to a hospital.

But he'll make a full recovery, at least physically. And he'll be rededicated to the idea that getting in fights with people is a STUPID idea. But what about the mental side of things?

Chris had, at one point, been mislead into thinking that his ability to heft 12 cans of soda at once was a feat of strength, or that of Patti's doghouse. A more accurate guess is 100 Pounds is quite heavy for the average person--and that the 10-15 pounds Chris struggled with actually means that he's wimpy TO THE EXTREME. His foe in the fight might need to launder their clothes and brush their hair afterward--it would be that one sided.

This lie is busted for good. Chris has never had to face evidence that he's a weakling, just as he's been Orwellian in regards to his weight decreasing to slowly increasing numbers. And while he might bluster, and certainly would want to say he's NOT pathetic, he knows at his core that he is--and does remarkably little about it. Worst case: he plays cathartic video games set to SUPER EASY to beat the troll who kicked his ass.
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Thats the part that interested me the most about the idea. Chris was convinced at one point that he was an imposing physical force who would be able to defend himself or beat up clyde cash. And while he went through the tomgirl saga in the mean time I don't see why Chris would have abandoned this thought process. Chris' ego and delusion arguable make up his entire personality. Every time Chris has to confront an aspect of reality a part of him kinda dies. I forgot their name but someone on the boards made the claim that Evan was Chris' most hurtful troll because he made him change the sonichu comics and the comics were Chris' imaginary world were no trolls could touch him and he always won. Here in the comics was proof that the trolls could reach him and defeat him in the comics and Chris kinda hasn't been the same since.

Getting his ass kicked would be a huge blow to both Chris' ego and delusion so I'd be curious as to how his personality would change with major damage to two of its main pillars.
 
Some good points have already been made, but lets take this a step further:

What if Chris got his ass kicked- by a girl?

I seriously doubt Chris would ever intentionally pick a fight with a female, even one he hates or is convinced is a troll, he would probably curse them and run away at the most. But, I could imagine some scenario where Chris crosses the line of acceptable behavior with the wrong girl and gets his ass kicked as a result. Any healthy woman could easily do it after all, they just need a reason.

Would this change his views of women? Would he be willing to finally give up the tiny effort he still makes on the "love quest" if he thinks there could be a physical risk?
 
Sakamoto said:
Some good points have already been made, but lets take this a step further:

What if Chris got his ass kicked- by a girl?...Would this change his views of women? Would he be willing to finally give up the tiny effort he still makes on the "love quest" if he thinks there could be a physical risk?
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If a woman deeply and unambiguously hurts Chris, she has effectively renounced her womanhood and gone straight to the depths of devil troll bitchery (see also: Mary Lee Walsh, Megan, The Wallflower).
 
sparklemilhouse said:
...Chris bought an e-cigarette? I mean its right up his alley, it's something battery powered he doesn't own yet. I could see him trying to smoke it in stores (like in the ads) but getting in trouble for it instead.

if he did smoke real cigarettes I could see him going for something girly like mistys or Capris.
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For the e-cig part, I think he'd hate it thinking it was tobacco and huffing and puffing about TAR and CANCER!! On the other hand I could see him liking Camel brand because he grew up with Joe Camel

Simple question yet hard to imangine. Without the PLACe, Chris would have never met Megan, Mimms, Lucas, or Synder. How would he handle life without Synder's ban or Megan's quote unquote trolling schemes being available to use to blame many of his modern problems on? Would we even be aware of our pet lolcow without Mimms now infamous photograph? Would Chris have ended up a brony without Megan's influence? So many other questions from this one simple question that I'd never be able to list them all.
 
I think he will still be internet infamous simply for Sonichu, but we wouldn't have nearly the info we do on him now. We could get info through mail bags and such

I have a deep love of folklore and like making my own stories and retellings of it. In many fairy tale traditions involves a foolish or useless young man who goes out to earn his fortune (usually through a magical helper) and he ends up with wealth and a beautiful wife. In these stories the man is usually simple, but good natured, as the story emphasies.

However, Chris might imagine himself as a role as a female protagonist in the fairy tale such as; Cinderella or Snow White
 
Without Megan, Chris would have become a Brony when the show came out, guaranteed. But as it stands, he's the original...the proto-Brony. It's mind-boggling. All Bronies should know that CWC was the first, and they should know how sad that is.

Without Megan, Chris may have had even LESS contact with women and been even more sex-nuts and unstable. It's an interesting thought of who he would have poured his crush-energy into. Probably Anna.

As for not meeting Michael Snyder, every Holmes needs a Moriarity. We should all be glad it happened.
 
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