Opinion What incels get wrong about women

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What incels get wrong about women​

The Pope is Catholic, bears shit in the woods, and new research shows that “men who identify as incels overestimate how much women want physical attractiveness and financial success” in a partner while underestimating the importance of traits such as kindness, humour and loyalty.

Forgive my sarkiness – but I don’t think we needed a study to prove that incels’ barometer for what women want is somewhat wonky. Any woman who has tuned in for any length of time to the incel philosophy (not to mention any straight woman trying to date) would have been able to tell you as much.

Short for “involuntary celibate”, the term incel has myriad connotations, ranging from risible stereotypes to the downright terrifying (incel ideologies have been cited in manifestos for mass killings, although the report suggests the ideology isn’t the main motivation).

Whatever end of the spectrum they fall on, incel beliefs boil down to a simple equation: women owe them sex, but they aren’t delivering. Never does it seem to occur to these men that it’s their attitude towards women that’s the problem – and reason no one wants to date them – rather than their looks or their money.

Not only do women remain with men during difficult financial periods, but also research shows that more and more US women are the breadwinners in their relationships. It’s also worth mentioning that, quite opposite from seeking the most handsome men, one study suggests women are happier with less attractive husbands.

Anecdotally, when it comes to long-term partnership, a sense of humour and thoughtfulness go much further than looks – my boyfriend is gorgeous, obviously, but I love him much more when he cooks a surprise dinner or makes me laugh than when he’s done 20 extra push-ups.

Despite this, incel communities instead discuss frightening ideas like state-mandated girlfriends as serious solutions to their predicament, believing that it would save them from the whole ordeal of dating (which would force them to treat women as human beings!). Why won’t anyone date me?! cry these guys, as they put their finishing touches to a manifesto for keeping women in cages. Truly, a mystery for the ages.

For a worldview that rails against the injustices faced by single, straight men, incel-dom sure does a good job of keeping them that way. The idea that women are only interested in the most preternaturally chiselled men and their bulging bank accounts must fill any guy who falls below the impossible (imaginary) standard with self-pity.

Women (or “foids”, short for “female humanoids” on incel forums), meanwhile, are seen as vapid idiots at best, and sex-slot-machines – into which you just have to pour the right amount of money and/or abs in order to cash out – at worst.

It’s hard not to feel frustrated by this state of affairs, partly because it seems so easy to straighten out; women have been writing books and articlescountering these toxic arguments, as well as offering more realistic accounts of what we’re actually looking for in male partners.

Sure, nice jawlines and money don’t hurt – but the idea that that’s what’s stopping an incel from getting a daterather than the frustration and resentment radiating from his every pore seems pretty convenient on the one hand, and totally self-defeating on the other.

With such a brutal understanding of interpersonal relationships, it’s perhaps no surprise that the study from the University of Swansea reveals incel mental health to be in staggeringly poor shape.

Hatred often comes from unhappiness, and I’d be depressed too if I felt as if the world was configured in such a way as to make my personal fulfilment impossible.

But the good news is that however dark the incel worldview might seem, it is a fantasy. Hopefully this new study, conducted by Dr Andrew Thomas and masters student William Costello will encourage incels to see women as human beings.

Say it with me: women don’t care about your cheekbones, we want to be seen as full human beings. That might not sound like much to ask, but it should be revelatory for the guys who are too busy griping about their facial structure to see the altogether simpler – and far more meaningful – truth. If it takes a study by a man to get that ball rolling, then so be it.
 
Why jerk off all day to porn when you can have sex and relationships? Why veg out on video games/shitposting all day when you have a career and friends to be with? The kind of dudes who end up like that are usually mentally ill or losers to begin with.
Great questions, but it seems like *all* men are going that route. I have a bunch of successful women friends (think lawyers, medical residents, accountants etc.) who are all single because their exes went the whole gooning-and-drinking-all-day route. I think for a lot of guys gooning or drinking just a little sends them down this spiral that makes them mentally ill af, and there are very few genuine teetotalers out there. I'm seeing an increasing number of men abstain from porn, at least, though.
 
but it seems like *all* men are going that route
Not all, but a lot are, it's just easier for them. Incels are right when they say that mediocre men are no longer needed and a lot of guys are mediocre. I'm not worried about it, they'll either get their their shit together or die alone, it's the only options they have.
 
Young men are achieving far less than previous generations thanks to all listed above. With less achievements, comes more loneliness in current year. Weak men are and have always been seen as disposable, whereas women always get some form of aid. Talking from my own experience as a more recent grad, college lacked any of the parties my parents talked about and I continuously worked through most of it doing the shit wagie jobs.
Really? Those parties were there just ten years ago. It was literally as easy as walking down the street on a Friday early in the semester.
 
Really? Those parties were there just ten years ago. It was literally as easy as walking down the street on a Friday early in the semester.
I went to a small college during Covid (Aug 2019- Dec 2022), so I may have a warped experience (I was also off campus a semester). School was heavily shut down for 2.25 years of my experience, which may impact a lot. Though this does add to my point, as the big social peak of many young people's lives was recently destroyed by stupid policies.

I also knew people from other colleges at work, and they didn't do much either it seems. Don't know how much of a trend this is, but my college was awful in communicating any social events and articles talking about breakdowns for Frats should be a bit worrying.
 
I went during Covid (Aug 2019- Dec 2022), so I may have a warped experience (I was also off campus a semester). School was heavily shut down for 2.25 years of my experience, which may impact a lot. Though this does add to my point, as the big social peak of many young people's lives was recently destroyed by stupid policies.
That makes sense. I remember specifically holding off on going back to college because I could see COVID making it suck. I bet you'll get a nice 9-5 soon.
 
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How many times do we have to go over this? Short of Sharia, or something like it, this ain't getting fixed. Wahmens were given a choice, and this is what they chose. These are the consequences. Just don't expect them - ever - to accept responsibility. That would be muh soggy knees. Women are perfect, didn't you know? By definition, they dindu nuffin - how could they? Poor, innocent victims of The Man. Hence articles like this, blaming incels (but really men in general). For everything.
I think this isn't about responsibility so much as women lying about what they want from a relationship, in part because they're lying to themselves.

The stereotype of women when it comes to dating is usually that they're nurturing, more in touch with their emotions, and don't judge on appearances the way men do.

When guys complain that women they're actively dating do none of these things it causes a lot of confusion. It's how you end up with women hearing about this desire for a loving wife that stands by her man they think "this guy wants a 50's stay at home wife that he provides for completely". They're assuming the loving part is a given, because they're women, and figure the rest of what the guy wants is the aesthetic.

Lot of the confusion comes from women ignoring what the core complaints men have really are.
 
I think this isn't about responsibility so much as women lying about what they want from a relationship, in part because they're lying to themselves.

The stereotype of women when it comes to dating is usually that they're nurturing, more in touch with their emotions, and don't judge on appearances the way men do.

When guys complain that women they're actively dating do none of these things it causes a lot of confusion. It's how you end up with women hearing about this desire for a loving wife that stands by her man they think "this guy wants a 50's stay at home wife that he provides for completely". They're assuming the loving part is a given, because they're women, and figure the rest of what the guy wants is the aesthetic.

Lot of the confusion comes from women ignoring what the core complaints men have really are.
I think we can both be correct. The 'thunk-provoking' rating wasn't sarcastic; it occurs to me that the lying (to everyone, including themselves) is how they dodge responsibility (one of the ways, anyway). More confusion occurs because of female dual mating strategy - the qualities that they find attractive differ, depending on the type of 'relationship' they're seeking - whether it's a short term hook up with an exciting, good-looking, unpredictable Chad, or something more committed and stable with a more boring, less sexy (but financially secure) beta/simp.

I don't think women ignore men's complaints (or preferences) either - they know full well what they are, because we've been telling them long enough - it's more that they simply do not care. And any pretense at concern, or chameleon-like behaviour, to (superficially) appeal to men's desires (see: tradthots), is just another resource-extraction strategy. Yet more manipulation, in other words. Which has the benefit of plausible deniability - also known as, [a way of] avoiding accountability for one's actions.

Edit, to add: they know damn well what they're doing, too, and they're just daring us to do something about it. Lot of that going around, btw. Feminism has been described (accurately, imo) as a massive, society-wide, collective shit test, which we menz have consistently, repeatedly failed.
 
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Edit, to add: they know damn well what they're doing, too, and they're just daring us to do something about it. Lot of that going around, btw. Feminism has been described (accurately, imo) as a massive, society-wide, collective shit test, which we menz have consistently, repeatedly failed.
Or a lot of guys can do just fine in this new world while the rest rot. Stop living in a fantasy world where men just need #RiseUp and you can finally get your cock wet.
 
Why jerk off all day to porn when you can have sex and relationships? Why veg out on video games/shitposting all day when you have a career and friends to be with? The kind of dudes who end up like that are usually mentally ill or losers to begin with.
Meeting and entering into a relationship with a woman and getting into a successful career is now 1000x harder in 2024 than either where in 1984.

Modern wokism, endless importation of H1B pajeets and letting millions of browns cross the border has destroyed the labor market.

Modern dating apps and social media have destroyed the classic dating paradigm where a modicrum of confidence at least gave normal even below normal dudes a chance at women.
 
Or a lot of guys can do just fine in this new world while the rest rot. Stop living in a fantasy world
The idea that such a state of society can continue indefinitely with no consequences to anybody's quality of life is in itself a fantasy.

Anyone talking about half the population as a general group is retarded but this "everything will continue exactly as it has for 40 years" shit is worse.

The problem is multifaceted with myriad causes and effects. If you can boil stuff like this down to "yeah it'll work itself out and we'll be fine" you have fucked up severely in your assessment of how serious this issue is to society.
 
The idea that such a state of society can continue indefinitely with no consequences to anybody's quality of life is in itself a fantasy.

Anyone talking about half the population as a general group is retarded but this "everything will continue exactly as it has for 40 years" shit is worse.

The problem is multifaceted with myriad causes and effects. If you can boil stuff like this down to "yeah it'll work itself out and we'll be fine" you have fucked up severely in your assessment of how serious this issue is to society.
I'll just repeat what I've always said on here. There is no collapse and no social upheaval coming. You, and way too many other guys on the internet, have deluded yourselves into thinking there is and it's going to end badly for you. Life will go on and it's up to you whether you'll go with it or consign yourselves to the dustbin of history out of your own choices.
 
I'll just repeat what I've always said on here. There is no collapse and no social upheaval coming. You, and way too many other guys on the internet, have deluded yourselves into thinking there is and it's going to end badly for you. Life will go on and it's up to you whether you'll go with it or consign yourselves to the dustbin of history out of your own choices.
Your posts on this topic are so monumentally retarded and just generally out of sync with reality. It's the textbook definition of coping. No one thinks we will live in the world of Mad Max when this is done, but the fact that we have to import millions of people to keep the population stable, there's an out and out war between the genders (something that never has happened before) and marriage and child-bearing rates are falling faster than a stone is a sign there is some sort of collapse or general decline in living in the works within our lifetimes. A young man that would have had reasonable sucess with women 15-40 years ago is now unable to do so because all the systems that aided him in ensuring that success have either failed or are in the process of failing. This is not normal in the modern age. People talk about most young men dying in the past, but those were during times of constant warfare and violence, so that makes sense. When 1/3 of your young men either aren't talking to or have no access to women, that is a demographics crisis of a very high caliber.

Again, this is like a Roman coping that the various Iranian, Central Asian, Germanic and Slavic barbarians tearing up and causing problems across the Roman Empire is just a normal fucking day and not a sign that their Empire is in the process of declining. Only a genuinely out-of-touch, stultified and just generally retarded person would even try to begin to make that argument and not see that something (or things really) is very wrong with the world at the moment and it's only getting worse because no one wants to address the elephant in the room rather than to at least attempt to fix the problem.
 
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Again, this is like a Roman coping that the various Iranian, Central Asian, Germanic and Slavic barbarians tearing up and causing problems across the Roman Empire is just a normal fucking day and not a sign that their Empire is in the process of declining. Only a genuinely out-of-touch, stultified and just generally retarded person would even try to begin to make that argument and not see that something (or things really) is very wrong with the world at the moment and it'a only getting worsw because no one wants to address the elephant in the room rather than to at least attempt to fix the problem.
The seething responses I get from those posts (like yours) are sad, but I get it. It's a lot easier pretending to be a doomsaying prophet people are too stupid or in denial of things to listen to then a spergy loser desperate to act like everyone else is soon going to be down in the mud with them soon.
 
These types of articles about incels or lack of romantic relationships that are written by women like this will always make me post this tweet until it stops being true

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The seething responses I get from those posts (like yours) are sad, but I get it. It's a lot easier pretending to be a doomsaying prophet people are too stupid or in denial of things to listen to then a spergy loser desperate to act like everyone else is soon going to be down in the mud with them soon.
It's a lot easier to feign giving helpful advice (that I nor anyone else asked for) to strawmen that don't exist than accepting the fact that you are a retard that cannot connect how general trends might be bad for you and society at large if they continue. Essentially, you are your average mouthy, low IQ and low impulse baby boomer.

I'm not the one going into a thread I don't like, calling everyone that disagrees with me "incels" ( a nebulous buzzword btw) based on zero reasoning and then getting buttblasted when people rightfully call me out why I'm a retard for even bothering to post such retarded drivel. That's you. A non-retarded adult would either just disengage or engage in an actual conversation instead of just throwing insults insults like an actual (stalker) child.
 
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I'll just repeat what I've always said on here. There is no collapse and no social upheaval coming. You, and way too many other guys on the internet, have deluded yourselves into thinking there is and it's going to end badly for you. Life will go on and it's up to you whether you'll go with it or consign yourselves to the dustbin of history out of your own choices.
This post will age like milk.

And assuming that I'm one of the people complaining about "muh dry dick" is really indicative of your mentality regarding such topics. I'm no doomsayer for pointing out the obvious and logical problems with the current state of affairs.
The seething responses I get from those posts (like yours) are sad, but I get it. It's a lot easier pretending to be a doomsaying prophet people are too stupid or in denial of things to listen to then a spergy loser desperate to act like everyone else is soon going to be down in the mud with them soon.
It's a lot easier pretending that everything is fine and will continue as it has regardless of mounting, and far-reaching, social problems than it is to accept that there is indeed a problem that ultimately has no direct or even indirect solutions.

Most people learn when they're very young that hiding behind your hands isn't a valid means of defense from anything.
there's an out and out war between the genders (something that never has happened before)
It has happened before though. That's the problem, hand-waving shit like this is especially egregious given it's not new. Even trannies aren't new either.
 
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