what is the most badass thing chris has ever done

Drove to the scene of the crime immediately after being declared a free man to get some more Barbussy on the State of Virginia's tab.

Seriously, just think about it. Would you drive back to the scene of your crime that you damn well know you're guilty of? No, you wouldn't. Chris did, though. He could be doing anything else but no, he doesn't give a shit. It's Barbussy he wants, it's Barbussy he gets.
 
Honestly I'd wager the most badass thing Chris has ever done is almost crush a man under the wheels of his car [and getting away with it legally]

If you give it thought, it's the coldest shit imaginable to stalk a man outside his workplace then try and kill him in broad daylight with zero fucks given. Imagine what Chris did as soon as he got out of holding: Going home and snacking on chicken tenders like he didn't commit vehicular assault mere hours ago.
 
He fought the jerkops and beat them.
This tale of cunning and heroism will always live in my heart:


22 June: Let me begin this entry with what happened two days ago. I had my setup at the McDonald’s at Wal-Mart, and apparently complaints were made. The two manajerks, a Seinor Comic, and a Black, Fat Jerk (he looked a lot like the leader of the Jerkops at the Mall, whom I refer to now as the Jerkhief) approached me and took me for a fall with my trying to find a Boyfriend-Free Girl, like I have been doing for the past over one-year and ten-months. We argued and disputed, until the two of them left to call the police. While they were gone, I had taken off the sign from my Nintendo DS and hidden it on the back cover of my diary. When the Jerkops came, they were all like “What seems to be the problem?” And the Merried Seinor Comic was like, “Where’s the Sign?” And I was, “What sign?” And another argument was had between the four of us, in which I NEVER gave any of those JERKS Eye-Contact, because none of them deserved it!. So, I got kicked out from the McDonald’s, not the Wal-Mart, for the rest of the day. Now for what happened today, I was starting to setup my things, and the B-Manajerk was getting in my face (I feel that he really hates me), and he was like, “Don’t set up your stuff. Don’t push me.” I was not going to use the Nintendo DS sign today, anyway. But he did not want my Pixelblock sculptors at all. I stood up against that Manajerk; I continued to build, and I dictated my situation into his face (with a song and dance). He went up to the Wal-Mart Manajerk, and he was like, “Hey, Let’s talk.” But I sat silent for a minute, then I said to him, “I do not speek [sic] to any Man other than myself, because they all have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.” Verbal Combat had started, and during the fight, I ran off, still giving verbal punishment, as well as da finger, and many “Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Has.” I nearly backed up onto him with my car, and I gave him another finger. Then I dashed off.

Best capeshit since The Avengers.
 
Between having to cross the whole country into a honeytrap to score some pussy and raping his ailing mum, he chose the latter

He transitioned without actually doing any severe harm to his body, while still being absolutely careless about his health

He spent years in prison daydreaming and got health professionals to roleplay with him

In prison, he openly disparaged all three monotheistic religions and declared he would be a better God than any of the official ones

He got a jewish court rottweiler for free, a very expensive one at that

He got off without a felony charge, a sex offender registration or any other staining legacy

He avoided homelessness, returned to Branchland Court, now free of Barb's shit for him to fill up with his shit, still has your tax dollars to pay for everything while Aunt Harriet and Uncle Tom will have to swallow up the harrowing debt

He seemingly gets to fuck that way above his league fat white chick often

He uploads a video verging on self parody

Rolling & Trolling part 2: Troll this!
 
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