What Is Wrong With Me?

bush911

bush911

kiwifarms.net
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Sep 11, 2024
Since I was a kid, I have had mental issues. I used to get extremely nervous around people, but I never knew what it was. I still don't really know what it was. I also used to and still do wash my hands obsessively. I have constant intrusive thoughts. I fear if I wash my hands the wrong way, my family members will commit suicide. I turn red in the face and almost cry at the slightest look of anger or disagreement in public, but I just don't know what's wrong. Why is everyone so normal? Why am I the idiot? Why do I struggle so hard while everyone else just breezes on by? So my question is, What is wrong with me and can I be fixed?
 
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The washing your hands so your family members don't kill themselves is definitely a symptom of obsessive compulsive disorder.

I used to have this back in 2020 when I was worried that if I got sick and passed the virus to others, that it would infect hundreds or thousands of people and one of the people in that chain would be a loved relative who would die as a direct result of my actions. After that, it spread into more "rituals." For example, I was worried that if I didn't make my bed every morning, a specific bad thing I'm very afraid of would happen to me.

I would suggest finding a therapist (maybe through your doctor referring you) and being very open with that person. This is treatable and you can get helped.

While this can improve on its own, it can also become much worse on its own and swallow up your whole life before you know it.

@Agreeably4263 is right, this is a mental illness. That means it's serious. Keep in mind, however, people don't choose illnesses. It just happens. You're not an idiot (although you may be one, it has nothing to do with this). I hope keeping that in mind can help you get through any stigma so you can be treated.
 
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Grundlejungle said:
you might have OCD. excessive handwashing and intrusive thoughts are very common symptoms.
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Was gonna say this, especially with the superstitious thinking that someone will come to harm if you don't perform a specific action or ritual, that sounds textbook OCD - which also overlaps a lot with the Autism spectrum. Good luck OP.
 
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Sounds like you have OCD.
There are decades of research into it, look some of it up.
 
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I can't say for sure but I'd advise you to stop asking strangers on the internet to diagnose you.
 
Chongqing said:
While this can improve on its own, it can also become much worse on its own and swallow up your whole life before you know it.
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Power level.

I straight up lost 5 years of my life and my career to a combination of depression and a fear/anxiety of driving. This guy isn't lying. I wish I had seen a psychologist back then.
 
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I'm quite sure I have OCD OP. I've never been officially diagnosed, as a child it was because my ethnic background does not accept mental health is a thing (We have "Normal person" and "Absolute disgrace"). Today it is mostly because because I work in a field where I go to courts and I've seen with my colleagues who have been treated for mental health that if there's the slightest suggestion they might be "mental", it gets used as a beatstick to claim our decisions look unreasonable even though it may have no link to our work.

I'm not a doctor, but I would suggest considering how deeply this affects your life. I do have compulsions to do harmless tasks, and experience overwhelming dread until I do them. I have developed strategies to control it to the point its unnoticeable. I have never asked, but I strongly suspect there is a much larger percentage of society in a similar position that despite neon haired people having all number of magic disorders, actually do have issues but manage to hide them.

If it is to the stage you can't manage it yourself, it is worth getting professional help. I can't speak for what it involves, but I know others who've done so and even just being able to talk it through with someone who knows how it works can help.

Attitudes in the west have changed dramatically in this area, and while mental health services have a long way to go they can do some good.
 
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Title of this post should read "Insecure faggot seeks attention, and male companionship.". Sounds to me like OP just wants attention. Why didn't you seek professional help first, instead of throwing yourself to the wolves on this site? Attention seeking faggot, most likely. Oh, and if you'd quit insecure jerking your little peter all the time, maybe you wouldn't be compelled to wash your hands constantly.
 
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Wash your hands the wrong way, realize that you did and your family is still alive, and every time you get those thoughts call that part of your mind a bitch and walk right out without washing your hands at all
Or if your family does kill themselves I guess figure out how to harness your powers
 
bush911 said:
Since I was a kid, I have had mental issues. I used to get extremely nervous around people, but I never knew what it was. I still don't really know what it was. I also used to and still do wash my hands obsessively. I have constant intrusive thoughts. I fear if I wash my hands the wrong way, my family members will commit suicide. I turn red in the face and almost cry at the slightest look of anger or disagreement in public, but I just don't know what's wrong. Why is everyone so normal? Why am I the idiot? Why do I struggle so hard while everyone else just breezes on by? So my question is, What is wrong with me and can I be fixed?
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Sounds like OCD or an anxiety disorder. I advice that you do 1 hour of low impact cardio a day to lower your resting heart rate.
 
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