Discovering new things, places or patterns of thought.
I get off on spending money. I know there has been research that shows buying stuff releases dopamine, and I definitely believe that's the case for me. Nothing feels better for me than walking around the mall for a couple hours and dropping $500.
Yes, I'm aware that I'm mentally ill.
You described a kind of nerdy varianat of this. But I never could understand people like you, whether they are women who like to splurge on fancy clothes they barely need or would wear, men who buy stupid looking watches that cost more than peoples homes or well, games like yourself.
It doesn't release dopamine in me the way it does to you, or Im guessing it doesn't. Its partly why I don't seem to get addicted to any drugs. I like smoking a cigar and sometimes I have moments when I smoke like a whole pack of cigarettes in 1 day. Then I don't smoke for 2 months. Obviously the cigerettes trigger the same things they do in your brain and make me feel good, but I don't seem to feel good enough to care to get addicted by it. I can't really describe it. Something is fucked in my head I think.
Let it then be a relief then to know that this kind of mentality has caused me more problems than what you imagine, perhaps more than yours has for you. . You see, because I'm not really chasing after short highs I don't have the kind of drive people have in certain situations. I probably would have fallen in love with more women had I just wanted to fuck them more often. I probably would have won more competitions and overall been more successful had I just wanted that feeling of "winning". I probably would have worked harder to grow my capital had I enjoyed spending it so much.
And this has overall hurt my long-term, as short term goals often result in long-term gains. To win you have to risk it and if you don't have that "drive", if you don't feel that "thrill" from winning or spending or fucking then you don't try as hard or risk as much.
In fact, when I'm shopping, no matter my budget or financial situation, I kinda enjoy looking for "deals", I love "beating the marketing". I can spend hours browsing hotels, comparing different deals, checking my bonuses and cards just to get the cheapest place possible.
Not the worst mind you. I still love staying in fancy hotels or visiting exotic locations. I just love doing it as cheap as possible.
I probably take it too far, like the time I took a dilapidated "concho" shared shuttle bus taxi to this luxurious private resort on a Caribbean island.
I looked like someone who hadn't bathed in a week (and I barely had) and the people on the concho were like "are you sure, there's nothing here man". The guard at the resort offered me a bottle of water (thirsty and sweaty/tired from the heat and walking prior to the taxi) and had to double check if I actually had a reservation before he let me in
What I'm trying to say is that, I don't know where your life has taken you, but overall I think my life would have been a lot better (though perhaps a bit less eccentric and interesting) if I had been more like you.
Now when it comes to things to buy, buying a bunch of overpriced gaming trinkets is probably one of the worst choices. But that impulse to feel "instant gratification" is definitely not all bad as some people make it out to be.
btw, if anyone kinda feels like me in this regard, feel free to PM. I've barely mate any people who are like this so it would be nice
