What secrets do you have?

[SandyCat]

For clarification, I am not a federal agent. You can trust me.

 

[SandyCat]

fuck off glowie

Didn't you read the post? There's no glowing here.

 

[kūhaku]

Information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

Deep, dark soul-shattering secrets, or just shit I never shared with anybody? I'll go with the latter.

I was a real life honest-to-goodness Marlboro Man.

 

[Testacles Maximus]

I’ve been collecting slaves for the afterlife for decades.

 

[Groserr]

but if I tell them, they are no longer a secret

 

[IKOL]

Well I've [REDACTED] at [REDACTED] because those fucking [____} were never enough of [CENSORED] and thus they have John Xina's approval on being complete [FSB CLASSIFIED LVL10 ACCESS REQUIRED]

 

[Chocolate Wombat]

When my cat meows at me I tell him I know but I really don't.

 

[Isaac]

I hate Latin culture, language and consider it as repulsive as anything Iberian

 

[Black Simp Bellamy]

Okay, I'll tell you my biggest secret, this comment was:

Spoiler: The Secrets of a Simp

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---

Now you know. You have the cursed knowledge, but always remember:

 

[Neurotypical Mantis]

i can't tell you, it wouldn't be a secret anymore

 

[Uncle Sid]

The secrets are all out in the open. The curse is that once you see them, you can't un-see them.

 

[Just A Fat Round Bird]

I wish I was this genius.

 

[A Useless Fish]

I have forty-four IDs of dead men in a bag in my closet. About half of them are now widowers, thanks to all the rich bitches I have married without pre-nups and murdered.

I have a mom I keep safe in a lovely town in a State that's very pretty in the winter which is funded by this. She can't go back to the old house in the city because she can't sleep there after I chopped my dad up and then fed him to sewer rats I'd starved in a barrel.

And don't get me started on all the whores me & Hunter have fucked to death while we were flying high on sweet, powdery white wings.

I don't know why everyone's so hard on working for The Fed. God knows I'm having a blast...

 

[Pruto]

I'm still nervous of the possibility someone recorded me, sometimes I try googling it just in case.

 

[Jason Wynn]

I actually am Dwight Frye. I never died in 1943, that was just a ruse.

 

[Black Light Red Panic]

I may taunt you whenever I call, General. But I call whenever I'm lonely.

 

[WinchesterPremium]

I have information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton.