What would you do if you saw a cute girl IRL browsing Kiwi Farms on her phone and she was looking at your posts and upvoting every one of them?

[Gay Joker]

You better not stare too long or she might notice your creepy face in the reflection of her screen.

 

[The Devil]

I'd get naked and smear peanut butter on myself, as is custom for my people during the mating ritual.

 

[A Very Big Fish]

Say hi to the nice Fed.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Probably a capitalist honeypot spy. Stay vigilant, Genossen until the interrogation is done.

 

[dramamine]

i'd escort myself out of the special ed classroom hastily, don't wanna catch anything from being there too long

 

[No-Eyed Square Guy]

I'd assume I've spotted the world's only based tranny and take a shaky bigfoot video of him.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Cockily grin and tap on her shoulder and say, "Hey, yeah... That's me." She'd be stunned at first, speechless, and I'd follow up telling her she can have my autograph (I'd let her know I'm waiving the usual fee so she feels special).

Then I'd give her the inside scoop to get her nice and excited. "So I've got a couple posts drafted, here's a sneak peak. This one's me screeching about how much I hate Breath of the Wild again, and this one's me arguing yet again that porn should be banned. I'm planning on making a post condemning abortion for the millionth time, but keep that between us." Then I'd wink, charmingly.

After that I'd need to try to stop her from dropping to her knees right there and then, but it's not the first time I'd be fending off a hot female fan, so I'm used to it.

 

[Gay Joker]

Cockily grin and tap on her should and say, "Hey, yeah... That's me." She'd be stunned at first, speechless, and I'd follow up telling her she can have my autograph (I'd let her know I'm waiving the usual fee so she feels special).

Then I'd give her the inside scoop to get her nice and excited. "So I've got a couple posts drafted, here's a sneak peak. This one's me screeching about how much I hate Breath of the Wild again, and this one's me arguing yet again that porn should be banned. I'm planning on making a post condemning abortion for the millionth time, but keep that between us." Then I'd wink, charmingly.

After that I'd need to try to stop her from dropping to her knees right there and then, but it's not the first time I'd be fending off a hot female fan, so I'm used to it.

She takes a picture of you and doxes you. Everybody laughs at you.

 

[Gog & Magog]

Block her and dox her.

 

[NoBueno]

I'd get out of there because theres no doubt shes some sort of CIA honeytrap

 

[Glad I couldn't help]

I would immediate try to find way out of what is certainly a nightmare in progress.

 

[John Badman]

Are you retarded? Because I’m fucking retarded.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

She takes a picture of you and doxes you. Everybody laughs at you.

Mutually assured destruction ensues.

 

[Skitarii]

it's not the first time I'd be fending off a hot female fan

How many times do you keep running into @Android raptor?

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

How many times do you keep running into @Android raptor?

Not at all by the definition laid out:

hot female

 

[Ultrapenguin]

I wouldn't want to reveal myself, because after she saw how handsome and charming I am IRL she'd really want to upvote my posts twice, and that isn't possible given current KF infrastructure.

Cockily grin and tap on her should and say, "Hey, yeah... That's me." She'd be stunned at first, speechless, and I'd follow up telling her she can have my autograph (I'd let her know I'm waiving the usual fee so she feels special).

Then I'd give her the inside scoop to get her nice and excited. "So I've got a couple posts drafted, here's a sneak peak. This one's me screeching about how much I hate Breath of the Wild again, and this one's me arguing yet again that porn should be banned. I'm planning on making a post condemning abortion for the millionth time, but keep that between us." Then I'd wink, charmingly.

After that I'd need to try to stop her from dropping to her knees right there and then, but it's not the first time I'd be fending off a hot female fan, so I'm used to it.

Did someone else take over this man's account? For real.

 

[Staticness]

It depends on if those posts include a certain DM chain or not. If she has access to it, fuck yeah.

 

[Lapsus of the bepsus]

"lol that guy is a flaming homo sex faggot. you must be fucking retarded to give him thumbs up stickers. HELP HELP THIS WOMAN IS A NAZI FROM THE RACIST STALKING HATE SITE KIWI FARMS HEEEEEEELP IM BEING MICROASSAULTED"

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

say Hi cause I'm not some inhuman muppet incapable of public interaction then ask her to open shirt show bobs