What would you say to someone about to jump off a bridge?

[Brenda Holiday]

You get a cake and 1000 dollars if you make them not jump
You go to hell if they jump

 

[DoNotFeedTheSneed]

“I’ll give you 1000 dollars if you don’t jump”

 

[Le b0wski]

"it's not about the money" *push*

 

[The News Crews]

Do a flip, faggot

 

[MadStan]

Hope you can swim

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

I don't need $1000 anyways (mom lets me live in the basement rent free). And cake will just make me even more morbidly obese.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Tell him to do a flip, I miss my grandma anyway.

 

[DoNotFeedTheSneed]

"it's not about the money" *push*

y'know, there's no stipulation here for what happens if you push them. You only go to hell if they jump. you're stopping them from jumping by doing it yourself, so you're cheating death here

 

[Le b0wski]

y'know, there's no stipulation here for what happens if you push them. You only go to hell if they jump. you're stopping them from jumping by doing it yourself, so you're cheating death here

Technically I made them not jump too so I get 1000 and a cake.

 

[booty]

I wouldn't say anything. I would just get on my knees and start sucking him dry.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

CANNONBALL

 

[Nicholas Gur]

If you jump, you're gay.

 

[Marc]

The old joke is that you ask if they'll let you fuck them, instead of jumping. Should they decline, you reply, "Okay - I'll make my way down there and wait for you, then." It's a bit of a proverb about always negotiating from a place of strength.

 

[King George III]

I'd tell them to fuck off and mind their own business.

 

[Cat tit bingo]

I'll tell them I have weed, pizza and kung pow enter the fist on vhs and that he can hang out if he doesn't kill him self.

 

[dokidokiwaku]

Walk down to where they would land and start masturbating

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I'd tell them I'm going to hell if they jump and that I'll give them $1k and a cake if they don't do it that day.