What would you scheme if you were in ancient times if you were powerful?

[Gorgar]

title

 

[Pimpleking55]

I would colonize Africa asap and sterilize/castrate its human inhabitants, after that i would probably bury a giant dildo somewhere in the Sahara desert to fuck with the future historians.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Establish a religion that emphasizes freedom and being chill, and one which specifically forbids slavery and torture?

Can you imagine the impact that could have on thousands of years of history afterwards?

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

I would create and mass produce a religion that taught everyone that meat is murder, and one may kill only in self-defense.
Then we evolve and get the fuck off this planet.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I would create and mass produce a religion that taught everyone that meat is murder, and one may kill only in self-defense.

What if there were "holy texts" in that religion showing how to build spacecraft, and the true nature of the universe?*

*(instead of flat earth or geocentric nonsense)

 

[Gutpuke]

I'd get all the ancient egyptian pussy.

 

[Just A Butt]

i would cum into the primordial ooze and then every living thing on the planet would look like me

 

[Meat Target]

I'm 6'2". People were much shorter back then. They would see me as a god and prostrate themselves in terror.

 

[David Brown]

I would finish the fucking job that Hadrian wouldn't.

 

[Isaac]

Man... If I were alone in a room with Marcus Brutus. I'd use a Derek Chauvin on him... Wouldn't be able to resist

 

[Lucky Jim]

Write in all the world's sacred texts "Thou shalt never test code before deployment. Have not the gods let defective children be born? Or buildings built to fall?"

 

[Mayor Adam West]

Nothing. I don’t wanna fuck with history because that’ll likely cause me not to exist. I’d try to isolate myself and live out the rest of my days in isolation.

 

[Poison Apple]

I would have to be a Byzantium emperor and invent bug spray thousands of years earlier and then when we fight the Ottoroaches trying to siege Constantinople, we would easily win on the basis of this new great anti-roach technology.

 

[Shidoen]

The revitalization of Atlantis so I can harness the oceanic powers to create great waves of torment. Build mighty temples to my name and demand many sacrifices. Mighty cities of ivory will be built to combat the illusions of R’lyeh. The Eldritch horrors will feel fear of what power a mere mortal man can possess.

 

[Napoleon Bonerfart]

I would invent spaghetti

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I'd cover my family's cave in dick drawings to fuck with a bunch of goofy looking hole diggers 10,000 years later.