What's the best crime someone can commit? - Not the worst.

Clogging a toilet in a national forest. The fun part is where they have to explain to the jury that this is a crime and that you go to jail for it (16 U.S.C. §551 & 36 C.F.R. §261.11(a) ) or my absolute favorite making an unreasonable gesture at a horse in a national park (the horse determines if it is unreasonable if I understand correctly) (36 CFR § 2.16 (f) )
 
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For all the fucking mass shooters in America, to actually target politicians, pedo celebrities, pedos in general or other criminals on your autistic suicidal rampages instead of school children and retail workers, seriously why none of them even think about it?
That's one criticism of random spree shooters. Another is why do they shoot their load all at once? Why not spread it out a bit, use it to blow of steam instead of letting it build?

Boss treated you like shit? Go ventilate the nearest politician.
 
Tearing the “do not remove under penalty of law” tag off pillows.

Yeah, I’m the bad guy your parents warned you about.
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look at this guy having never consumed a single bed in his life
 
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