What's the Most Autistic Food? - Autfood for Autfags

[PsychoNerd054]

Also dippin dots.

Eh, you can't really find those anywhere outside of amusement parks, especially Disneyland, anyway.

 

[Recoil]

Eh, you can't really find those anywhere outside of amusement parks, especially Disneyland, anyway.

I see em in the wild every once in a while. But not often enough. Apparently they have to be stored at insane temperatures. You remember them being marketed as "The ice cream of the future"?

Why Dippin’ Dots Never Became the Ice Cream of the Future | Now I Know

Spoiler: Article

Dippin’ Dots, pictured above, are a form ice cream which was invented in 1988 by an Illinois guy named Curt Jones. Jones, a microbiologist by training, was working in cryogenics — that is, the physics of freezing stuff at super-low temperatures. For the most part, cryogenics was (and is) used in industrial settings, and Jones was working on such an application; per Mental Floss, he was trying to freeze yogurt for use in animal feed. He realized he could apply the same technology to a combination of milk, cream, sugar, and flavorings and make something for us humans, too. The end result: pellets of flash-frozen ice cream which, when mixed, formed flavors like chocolate chip cookie dough, banana split, and cotton candy.

And it proved popular. One could find Dippin’ Dots at mall kiosks, amusement parks, and the like, delighting children and adults alike. The brand adopted the moniker “The Ice Cream of the Future,” promising to become a staple of dessert courses near and far. It made sense, right? Who doesn’t like futuristic ice cream? All Dippin’ Dots needed to do to fulfill on its promise was to find its way into your grocery’s freezer, allowing anyone to bring it home with them.

And yet, here we are, thirty years later. And not only isn’t there any Dippin’ Dots in our freezers, there often isn’t any in our malls either. If anything, Dippin’ Dots are even harder to find. What happened?

Blame your freezer. And the freezers at your local grocery store, too.

Your freezer — and the one at the supermarket, for that matter — probably doesn’t get any colder than 0°F (about -17.77°C). That’s by design. By and large, the food safety benefits of going below 0°F are minimal — you’ll be able to store food items at that temperature for months, and going a little bit colder isn’t going to gain you much extra time. On the other hand, the energy needs to maintain lower temperatures are significant. And really extreme temperatures — say, -40°F (-40°C) are simply out of reach given the cooling systems of most modern freezers.

But Dippin’ Dots? They need to be stored at -40°F.

In small amounts with specialty equipment, that’s easily doable — the ice cream pellets are kept frozen at temperatures of -320°F (-195.5ºC) using liquid nitrogen, and then stored in a similar fashion in that little stand at the zoo near the penguin exhibit or stroller rentals. But that hasn’t stopped the company from trying to bring Dippin’ Dots into your home. You can order big bags of 30 servings off the Dippin’ Dots website. It arrives packed in dry ice — that is, solid carbon dioxide — but Dippin’ Dots warns that you better eat the ice cream quickly because it “cannot be stored in a home freezer.” And in 2016, the company began rolling out specialized freezers for retail locations like grocery stores, but that’s generally proved unpopular. Consumers would have to pay a premium price due to the storage costs, and they’d have to eat the product right away — there aren’t many of us who have these special low-temp freezers at home. And what kind of future does a product like that have? Not much of one.

The company declared bankruptcy in 2012 due to low cash flow and while they came back under new ownership, they’re still trying to figure out how to grow. (One avenue they’re looking at? Selling cryogenic equipment to other industries.) Unless the world gets colder, Dippin’ Dots’ self-claimed desire to become the ice cream of the future will remain unfulfilled.

Bonus fact: Dippin’ Dots obtained a patent on their ice cream making process in 1992 but it isn’t worth that much. In 1996, they sued a competitor called Mini Melts, claiming that Mini Melts’ product and process were virtually identical to Dippin’ Dots. The Melts won despite the fact that their product, seen here, is very similar to the Dots (although less dot-shaped). Why? Because while we may think of Dippin’ Dots as special, the court didn’t agree. Rather, it ruled that the process of making Dippin’ Dots was “obvious” and not something that can be protected by a patent.

Spoiler: There are knockoffs, too

Maybe I've been seeing fakes.

 

[Shaved Kiwis]

Eh, you can't really find those anywhere outside of amusement parks, especially Disneyland, anyway.

I've been in a couple of malls that had dedicated Dippin Dots vending machines.

I see em in the wild every once in a while. But not often enough. Apparently they have to be stored at insane temperatures. You remember them being marketed as "The ice cream of the future"?

Why Dippin’ Dots Never Became the Ice Cream of the Future | Now I Know

Spoiler: Article

Dippin’ Dots, pictured above, are a form ice cream which was invented in 1988 by an Illinois guy named Curt Jones. Jones, a microbiologist by training, was working in cryogenics — that is, the physics of freezing stuff at super-low temperatures. For the most part, cryogenics was (and is) used in industrial settings, and Jones was working on such an application; per Mental Floss, he was trying to freeze yogurt for use in animal feed. He realized he could apply the same technology to a combination of tard cum, cream, sugar, and flavorings and make something for us humans, too. The end result: pellets of flash-frozen ice cream which, when mixed, formed flavors like chocolate chip cookie dough, banana split, and cotton candy.

And it proved popular. One could find Dippin’ Dots at mall kiosks, amusement parks, and the like, delighting children and adults alike. The brand adopted the moniker “The Ice Cream of the Future,” promising to become a staple of dessert courses near and far. It made sense, right? Who doesn’t like futuristic ice cream? All Dippin’ Dots needed to do to fulfill on its promise was to find its way into your grocery’s freezer, allowing anyone to bring it home with them.

And yet, here we are, thirty years later. And not only isn’t there any Dippin’ Dots in our freezers, there often isn’t any in our malls either. If anything, Dippin’ Dots are even harder to find. What happened?

Blame your freezer. And the freezers at your local grocery store, too.

Your freezer — and the one at the supermarket, for that matter — probably doesn’t get any colder than 0°F (about -17.77°C). That’s by design. By and large, the food safety benefits of going below 0°F are minimal — you’ll be able to store food items at that temperature for months, and going a little bit colder isn’t going to gain you much extra time. On the other hand, the energy needs to maintain lower temperatures are significant. And really extreme temperatures — say, -40°F (-40°C) are simply out of reach given the cooling systems of most modern freezers.

But Dippin’ Dots? They need to be stored at -40°F.

In small amounts with specialty equipment, that’s easily doable — the ice cream pellets are kept frozen at temperatures of -320°F (-195.5ºC) using liquid nitrogen, and then stored in a similar fashion in that little stand at the zoo near the penguin exhibit or stroller rentals. But that hasn’t stopped the company from trying to bring Dippin’ Dots into your home. You can order big bags of 30 servings off the Dippin’ Dots website. It arrives packed in dry ice — that is, solid carbon dioxide — but Dippin’ Dots warns that you better eat the ice cream quickly because it “cannot be stored in a home freezer.” And in 2016, the company began rolling out specialized freezers for retail locations like grocery stores, but that’s generally proved unpopular. Consumers would have to pay a premium price due to the storage costs, and they’d have to eat the product right away — there aren’t many of us who have these special low-temp freezers at home. And what kind of future does a product like that have? Not much of one.

The company declared bankruptcy in 2012 due to low cash flow and while they came back under new ownership, they’re still trying to figure out how to grow. (One avenue they’re looking at? Selling cryogenic equipment to other industries.) Unless the world gets colder, Dippin’ Dots’ self-claimed desire to become the ice cream of the future will remain unfulfilled.

Bonus fact: Dippin’ Dots obtained a patent on their ice cream making process in 1992 but it isn’t worth that much. In 1996, they sued a competitor called Mini Melts, claiming that Mini Melts’ product and process were virtually identical to Dippin’ Dots. The Melts won despite the fact that their product, seen here, is very similar to the Dots (although less dot-shaped). Why? Because while we may think of Dippin’ Dots as special, the court didn’t agree. Rather, it ruled that the process of making Dippin’ Dots was “obvious” and not something that can be protected by a patent.

Spoiler: There are knockoffs, too

Maybe I've been seeing fakes.

Speaking of knockoffs; There is also a Deli near me that sells Mini Melts from a special fridge that is thickly lined with something. The real problem with them is the price and the fact that they have a ton of sugar.

 

[AnOminous]

I see em in the wild every once in a while. But not often enough. Apparently they have to be stored at insane temperatures. You remember them being marketed as "The ice cream of the future"?
Why Dippin’ Dots Never Became the Ice Cream of the Future | Now I Know

Then there's the whole being completely flavorless shit thing.

 

[Niggernerd]

Turkey hot dogs
Turkey patties

Fuck turkey foods, it's only for turkey day.

 

[JambledUpWords]

 

[AbyssStarer]

Dipping Dots are great when it's hot as snot and you need a cool snack. Had them at a zoo recently when it was 97+ out.

 

[💗Freddie Freaker💗]

 

[JambledUpWords]

View attachment 851355

Has Moviebob tried this?

 

[AnOminous]

View attachment 851355

This would be the same Unilever-owned megacorporation that also partners with virulent genocidal anti-Semitic terrorism advocate Linda Sarsour.

Pass.

 

[x.eight.six.systems]

If you're talking about having to be autistic to make to it It would be Streets Viennetta ice cream cakes.

As for the people who eat it would be Kraft Easy Mac

 

[Chaos Theorist]

If you're talking about having to be autistic to make to it It would be Streets Viennetta ice cream cakes.
View attachment 851574
As for the people who eat it would be Kraft Easy Mac
View attachment 851575

Mint Viennetta is a good dessert. Australians should not be deciding on what counts as autistic food when you eat sprinkle sandwiches and vegemite.

 

[Niggernerd]

All microwavable foods are autistic
It's just disgusting and lazy like your average exceptional.
Journos need to learn to code
Autist need to learn to cook

 

[Agoraphobic Bullshit]

Mashed potatoes. It’s literally just semi-flavorless mush, the perfect texture for picky tards.

Man, if your mashed potatoes are flavourless, you're doing something wrong. Bland mashed potatoes are sad.

 

[💗Freddie Freaker💗]

incel candy

gamer nuts

camwhore bathwater

 

[lil bitch]

Eh, you can't really find those anywhere outside of amusement parks, especially Disneyland, anyway.

i've actually seen those in multiple movie theaters before in vending machines. its beyond me if anyone even uses them but i see them and i shrug em off

 

[No creativity]

View attachment 851242

Precooked food that would take 5 minutes to make is peak autism. Seeing people buy shit like pre-beaten eggs boggles my mind.

Also honorable mention to gummy bears. I love the stuff but it's always embarrassing to buy because it's always marketed towards kids. We need serious adult gummy candy. And no, gummy dicks don't count

Spoiler

.

 

[Freddy Freaker]

View attachment 851355

This would be the same Unilever-owned megacorporation that also partners with virulent genocidal anti-Semitic terrorism advocate Linda Sarsour.

Pass.

>When you eat RoundUp ice cream to stick it to drumpfler

Anyway, have some autist drank

 

[Babyspackle]

 

[cawk mcnibbler69^%]

I'll judge it off of the standard of what's unhealthy, laughable, and extremely loud (in the way it's marketed.)
Fast Food
Junk Food mainly cheap-plastic-bagged goods like Doritos and Gummy Bears
Foods of companies that support Monsanto like Nabisco and Frito-Lay
Heavily Processed Foods like Hotdogs and Lunch Meat
Lunchables
Cereal
Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches
Soda
Hug Jugs and other Fruit* *fructose artificially-colored Ghetto Fruit Drinks
Instant Oatmeal, Mac & Cheese, Act II Popcorn, and other 'easy prep' foods
White Bread
GMO Foods
Red Lobster, Olive Garden, Coney Islands, and other popular 'restaurants'
Frozen Meals
Shitty and cheap condiments and seasoning, such as Mayonaise, Ketchup, Iodized Salt, Fake Honey, and Frank's Red Hot
Dairy

I'm surprised no one's mentioned Gatorade, it tends to be the drink of slobs with no taste whatsoever.

It's marketed as a fitness drink but its overloaded with sugar, fun fact athletes do drink Gatorade but they dillute it with water because it's overloaded with sugar.

It really blows my mind to see people walking around leisurely drinking gatorade. Yes Coca Cola is also not good for you but at least it objectively tastes good.

BodyArmor Lyte is a lot better. It actually has electrolytes for one thing.