What's the proper etiquette for farting in an elevator? - Release the kraken!

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Let it rip without making any effort to hide it, then turn to the nearest person and say "I really should go see a doctor about that."
 
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It's usually very crowded when I have to ride one. So, I stand in the back corner, where I am naturally meant to be, being last off. Let up an SBD, and watch the men and women in suits look confused and angry. They never glare back into my corner, because one of their peer group must be doing this to piss them off.

E- I wrote this in a tone like everyone should clap at the end. I'm sorry.
 
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Don't hold back. Lean into it and audibly/visibly push. Shoot for some solid discharge. Scare everyone else into silence. They just saw you struggle to shit yourself loudly in public. Who knows what a madman like that is capable of?
 
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Squeeze off the fart so they think you're done. Give them a moment to let the relief and hope build. Resume farting. Enjoy watching the despair and crushed hopes written on their faces.
 
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