When did you come to grasp with mortality?

I probably never will. Permanent non existence is a terrifying thought for me, which is why I’m holding out hope for rejuvenation biotechnology, even if a breakthrough doesn’t happen in my lifetime I’d like to be cryogenically preserved as a last resort if there’s even the narrowest possibility of reviving people that way.

My fear first manifested when I was 14 and had a bad case of insomnia, and lay awake mourning my grandfather, who had been dead five years at that point, and since I wasn’t taught to believe in any gods, afterlife, stuff like that, I had my first full blown panic attack trying to imagine what it would be like and they’ve been creeping up on me from time to time ever since.
 
  • Optimistic
Reactions: Niggard
told this story in another thread but having you class mate die young (and see her having seizure attacks on the regular) was a awakening for me. more and more people i have grown up with have died as early adults over the years. im starting to get afraid of simply falling down stairs or slip on ice now.

but you know what, im fine with being mortal. im fine with knowing i will die at some point beacuse so will everyone else. can you imagine the day they will figure out how to extend ones life and maybe even preserve your concussions inside some computer? it would drive me too madness knowing some rich globalist fuck gets to live on beyond his or her years beacuse they were (((chosen))).

thats the kind of black pill that would make me go full nihilist and just end it all.
 
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  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Autistic
Reactions: Niggard and Van Darkholme
I keep vacillating between accepting my mortality and being afraid of it. All the philosophy and Twain in the world can ameliorate your fears of what death “means”, but in the end the very idea of going from existing to not-existing, of feeling then not-feeling, is something our minds can’t really wrap themselves around. There’s a primal fear, there, an uncertainty that no amount of intellectual labor can make easier.

I’m told it really is something like going to sleep: most of the time you’ll never pinpoint the exact moment you slipped underneath and then returned. This makes it pretty hard to go to sleep with something on your mind and nigh-impossible to control consciously.

I anticipate that my last moments, if foreseen, will be spent anxiously waiting for the shift, the second of darkness you can’t actually experience.
 
I haven't and it keeps me awake at night after a really shitty day. Help me kiwifarms.
 
Watching my mother slowly die of cancer while I was a child made me pretty aware (and terrified) of my own mortality.
 
At the risk of sounding silly to other members on KF, it was when I found out about sites like LiveLeak and Documenting Reality. At that time, I thought it was mainly for things that the media would never show you, from public death to graphic videos, and this was before I found out about BestGore.

Between that and family members of my own passing due to old age, alcoholism and disease, it’s a very sobering look at how life and death can affect you in a way that makes you want to be realistic about what you can do to better your own life.
 
At the age of five. That year I learned about new life. And about death. We all die, I just really hope my death isn't from drowning in my own chest fluids.
 
You never do; distract yourself with stuff so that when the time comes you are too busy to focus on cowering.
 
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