When it gets right down to it...

[Cwckifan]

He managed to lose his virginity as something of a consolation prize, but that turned out to be not all it was cracked up to be.

People say something like this a lot, but honestly, Chris was genuinely ecstatic after losing his virginity. It was all he thought about for awhile after the event. Now, the actual problem Chris had with sex wasn't that he didn't find it amazing, he just didn't find it amazing enough to spend money on it regularly.

But yeah, hookers weren't in his original plan anyway.

And yeah, Chris got the hooker because he was afraid of dying because of his hunger strike plan. We all know Chris would fold after 12 hours of starvation, but he seemed to be pretty confident in his ability.

Really, Chris is miserable as shit nowadays, not because he didn't expect losing his virginity to fix everything, but because Barb is hoarding him and he has no social outlets.

So basically, sex was to Chris what a shiny new toy is to an 8-year old. Seriously, what gives? Has his loneliness and overbearing mother killed his ability to find pleasure in anything anymore, or is he so fixated on what can't be helped, that all he can do is impotently rage against the world? Really, if those are the main problems, then why does he keep doing what he's doing, as if that'll make it better? Honestly, it seems as though even if all the trolls were arrested, and Snyder, Lucas, Mimms, and Megan were all burned at the stake while Anna declares that his manliness has cured her of being gay (while having sex with him, of course), he'd still find something to bitch about

 

[Christ-Chan]

He only seems standard because we don't have enough information about him as a child. And if we take what Chris says seriously, he had some serious issues (having to be restrained, moving to a new school, and something about a babysitter?).

To be fair, I think the reason that Chris seemed more normal as a child was because he was a child. He's got the mind of a little kid, of course he seemed normal back then because he was a kid's mentality in a kid's body.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

He only seems standard because we don't have enough information about him as a child. And if we take what Chris says seriously, he had some serious issues (having to be restrained, moving to a new school, and something about a babysitter?).

To be fair, I think the reason that Chris seemed more normal as a child was because he was a child. He's got the mind of a little kid, of course he seemed normal back then because he was a kid's mentality in a kid's body.

^^ THIS. I firmly believe there's nothing Chris does that would be at all unusual for a child of eight. For a child of ten, it'd be a little odd, at worst.

The crazy thing about Chris is that he's doing this in his 20's and 30s. It's not what he does, it's that he's not matured at all since his childhood years. We accept that kids do weird things because they're assumed to be growing, and will eventually learn better. Chris never has.

 

[A-№1]

He managed to lose his virginity as something of a consolation prize, but that turned out to be not all it was cracked up to be.

People say something like this a lot, but honestly, Chris was genuinely ecstatic after losing his virginity. It was all he thought about for awhile after the event. Now, the actual problem Chris had with sex wasn't that he didn't find it amazing, he just didn't find it amazing enough to spend money on it regularly.

I think the pleasure of the sex act itself was only a very small part of that though. I think most of his ecstatic euphoria was more for reasons like: "That'll show those dang, dirty trolls!" and: "At last I am a man!" and a lot of other juvenile things he'd associated with sex but that can only happen for him once. Going to a hooker again wouldn't prove anything to the trolls, so he hasn't bothered. Without the ego boost that came with losing his virginity etc., masturbation is good enough for him, and it doesn't cut into his vidya spending. (WHORES ARE EXPENSIVE!)

Really, Chris is miserable as shit nowadays, not because he didn't expect losing his virginity to fix everything, but because Barb is hoarding him and he has no social outlets.

Yeah, it's not because he can't go out and get another whore, but because he can't go out and do anything.

And even when he does somehow manage to go out and do something, he gets hassled by asset protection managers and smoking gals.

 

[Drawets Rednaxela]

I don't think the two are related. It seems more like another case of "Look at me! I do normal things too!".

 

[Christ-Chan]

^^ THIS. I firmly believe there's nothing Chris does that would be at all unusual for a child of eight. For a child of ten, it'd be a little odd, at worst.

The crazy thing about Chris is that he's doing this in his 20's and 30s. It's not what he does, it's that he's not matured at all since his childhood years. We accept that kids do weird things because they're assumed to be growing, and will eventually learn better. Chris never has.

To be honest, I think Chris is cripplingly petrified by reality at this point.

 

[The Dude]

^^ THIS. I firmly believe there's nothing Chris does that would be at all unusual for a child of eight. For a child of ten, it'd be a little odd, at worst.

The crazy thing about Chris is that he's doing this in his 20's and 30s. It's not what he does, it's that he's not matured at all since his childhood years. We accept that kids do weird things because they're assumed to be growing, and will eventually learn better. Chris never has.

To be honest, I think Chris is cripplingly petrified by reality at this point.

As oblivious as Chris is, I think he knows what's coming at him like a freight train: being forever alone. Once Barb dies he will have no one. No. One. He will have to rely on himself for the rest of his lonely life. No more mommy and daddy to look after him. No friends to spend time with. No sweetheart to share life with. Just him, all alone, in that filthy house until the State of Virginia kicks him out on his ass.

 

[CatParty]

He only seems standard because we don't have enough information about him as a child. And if we take what Chris says seriously, he had some serious issues (having to be restrained, moving to a new school, and something about a babysitter?).

To be fair, I think the reason that Chris seemed more normal as a child was because he was a child. He's got the mind of a little kid, of course he seemed normal back then because he was a kid's mentality in a kid's body.

^^ THIS. I firmly believe there's nothing Chris does that would be at all unusual for a child of eight. For a child of ten, it'd be a little odd, at worst.

The crazy thing about Chris is that he's doing this in his 20's and 30s. It's not what he does, it's that he's not matured at all since his childhood years. We accept that kids do weird things because they're assumed to be growing, and will eventually learn better. Chris never has.

he's like a retarded benjamin button

 

[QI 541]

He only seems standard because we don't have enough information about him as a child. And if we take what Chris says seriously, he had some serious issues (having to be restrained, moving to a new school, and something about a babysitter?).

To be fair, I think the reason that Chris seemed more normal as a child was because he was a child. He's got the mind of a little kid, of course he seemed normal back then because he was a kid's mentality in a kid's body.

^^ THIS. I firmly believe there's nothing Chris does that would be at all unusual for a child of eight. For a child of ten, it'd be a little odd, at worst.

The crazy thing about Chris is that he's doing this in his 20's and 30s. It's not what he does, it's that he's not matured at all since his childhood years. We accept that kids do weird things because they're assumed to be growing, and will eventually learn better. Chris never has.

What Chris is currently doing would be considered psychotic even for a child. Children normally aren't this angry, obsessed, and stupid.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

^^ THIS. I firmly believe there's nothing Chris does that would be at all unusual for a child of eight. For a child of ten, it'd be a little odd, at worst.

The crazy thing about Chris is that he's doing this in his 20's and 30s. It's not what he does, it's that he's not matured at all since his childhood years. We accept that kids do weird things because they're assumed to be growing, and will eventually learn better. Chris never has.

What Chris is currently doing would be considered psychotic even for a child. Children normally aren't this angry, obsessed, and stupid.

Ill-behaved, yes, but not psychotic. Didn't you ever have kids in your class who would form a very strong dislike for someone, not based on reality at all? Or who say they want someone to die without knowing really what they're saying?

 

[asperhes]

As oblivious as Chris is, I think he knows what's coming at him like a freight train: being forever alone. Once Barb dies he will have no one. No. One. He will have to rely on himself for the rest of his lonely life. No more mommy and daddy to look after him. No friends to spend time with. No sweetheart to share life with. Just him, all alone, in that filthy house until the State of Virginia kicks him out on his ass.

You are definitely correct that this is one of Chris's greatest fears, and it has motivated his sweetheart search since its inception. What's interesting is that Chris has always been lonely *despite* his stable of imaginary cartoon friends. The comfort he receives from discussing world politics with Sonichu does not neutralize his core loneliness. Therefore, I think we should be careful about making assumptions like, "Chris can't tell fantasy from reality," or "Chris thinks cartoon characters are real," or even more problematic, "Chris is schizophrenic." Just as Chris isn't emotionally satisfied by having sex with prosts, he's not emotionally satisfied with the nightly encouragement Rosechu gives him. These are not acceptable substitutes for Chris. As much as he tries, he just can't seem to force CWCville and its denizens into reality.

 

[QI 541]

^^ THIS. I firmly believe there's nothing Chris does that would be at all unusual for a child of eight. For a child of ten, it'd be a little odd, at worst.

The crazy thing about Chris is that he's doing this in his 20's and 30s. It's not what he does, it's that he's not matured at all since his childhood years. We accept that kids do weird things because they're assumed to be growing, and will eventually learn better. Chris never has.

What Chris is currently doing would be considered psychotic even for a child. Children normally aren't this angry, obsessed, and stupid.

Ill-behaved, yes, but not psychotic. Didn't you ever have kids in your class who would form a very strong dislike for someone, not based on reality at all? Or who say they want someone to die without knowing really what they're saying?

Yes, but those are usually the more psychotic children, not the norm, in my experience. Hence why I consider Chris to be psychotic, if judged by children's standards.

 

[Marvin]

He managed to lose his virginity as something of a consolation prize, but that turned out to be not all it was cracked up to be.

People say something like this a lot, but honestly, Chris was genuinely ecstatic after losing his virginity. It was all he thought about for awhile after the event. Now, the actual problem Chris had with sex wasn't that he didn't find it amazing, he just didn't find it amazing enough to spend money on it regularly.

I think the pleasure of the sex act itself was only a very small part of that though. I think most of his ecstatic euphoria was more for reasons like: "That'll show those dang, dirty trolls!" and: "At last I am a man!" and a lot of other juvenile things he'd associated with sex but that can only happen for him once. Going to a hooker again wouldn't prove anything to the trolls, so he hasn't bothered. Without the ego boost that came with losing his virginity etc., masturbation is good enough for him, and it doesn't cut into his vidya spending. (WHORES ARE EXPENSIVE!)

Actually, no. Really, enjoying the sex itself was almost all of why he was so happy about it. And a lot of people bring up the "being a man" stereotype with Chris, but no, Chris has never cared about being a man. That's a big thing with Chris. He never cared about fulfilling manhood stereotypes.

I question whether he masturbates much nowadays, but I guess we don't really know either way.

Really, Chris is miserable as shit nowadays, not because he didn't expect losing his virginity to fix everything, but because Barb is hoarding him and he has no social outlets.

Yeah, it's not because he can't go out and get another whore, but because he can't go out and do anything.

And even when he does somehow manage to go out and do something, he gets hassled by asset protection managers and smoking gals.

Definitely.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

As oblivious as Chris is, I think he knows what's coming at him like a freight train: being forever alone. Once Barb dies he will have no one. No. One. He will have to rely on himself for the rest of his lonely life. No more mommy and daddy to look after him. No friends to spend time with. No sweetheart to share life with. Just him, all alone, in that filthy house until the State of Virginia kicks him out on his ass.

I couldn't agree more, and here's my question: When did he realize this?

Chris made a startlingly intelligent statement back in 2004 that he knew his parents wouldn't be around forever, and thus made it clear that the Sweetheart Search was a quest to prevent being alone for the rest of his life. And frankly, it didn't jibe. I mean, This is a guy who thought he had fans upon discovering websites making fun of his work. Chris has always pointed toward protective, self-satisfying delusions, using even evidence that was antithetical to his fantasies to prove them real. So, why would he think he'd be alone after his parents died? If he was such a great guy, what could possibly threaten his fantasies?

Here I think back to his high school days. The view from Chris's rose-colored glasses paints a picture of good times and great friendships at Manchester, and yet Chris complained about loneliness in his "Song of Christian" video. Then he goes tantruming off the stage at his graduation ceremony, partly (probably mostly) because he didn't get any awards, but also because, according to him, he'd not be seeing his friends anymore. But if these were his best buds in the world, why would they, these women who attended his 18th birthday party at his home, just leave him behind?

What I'm asking is: Where did delusional Christian Chandler get the idea that he'd be permanently alone after the death of his parents?

 

[Marvin]

What I'm asking is: Where did delusional Christian Chandler get the idea that he'd be permanently alone after the death of his parents?

Bob's death might've helped with that.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

I couldn't agree more, and here's my question: When did he realize this?

Chris made a startlingly intelligent statement back in 2004 that he knew his parents wouldn't be around forever, and thus made it clear that the Sweetheart Search was a quest to prevent being alone for the rest of his life. And frankly, it didn't jibe. I mean, This is a guy who thought he had fans upon discovering websites making fun of his work. Chris has always pointed toward protective, self-satisfying delusions, using even evidence that was antithetical to his fantasies to prove them real. So, why would he think he'd be alone after his parents died? If he was such a great guy, what could possibly threaten his fantasies?

Here I think back to his high school days. The view from Chris's rose-colored glasses paints a picture of good times and great friendships at Manchester, and yet Chris complained about loneliness in his "Song of Christian" video. Then he goes tantruming off the stage at his graduation ceremony, partly (probably mostly) because he didn't get any awards, but also because, according to him, he'd not be seeing his friends anymore. But if these were his best buds in the world, why would they, these women who attended his 18th birthday party at his home, just leave him behind?

What I'm asking is: Where did delusional Christian Chandler get the idea that he'd be permanently alone after the death of his parents?

It's a good question. For the moment, I'm considering that in order to create a delusion, the mind must first be aware of an unpleasant truth that must be escaped. Chris isn't just ignorant of the truth and bumbling his way through life (though he does that a fair amount), he's actively countering some of the truths he has discovered over the years. The difference, I'd think would be how cognizant Chris would have been of the truth before he started covering it up.

At his graduation, Chris saw his friends walking away, and realized there was no school tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day. He cried because he could see his friends being taken from him. He can admit to this why? Because deluding himself into thinking he'd never be without his friends, and then being upset when he loses those friends is a better delusion than realizing they were never his friends in the first place. Remember, Chris bases most of his life on TV. He has to have a concept that REAL friends meet outside of school. Somehow, a tiny brain cell recognizes that his gal-pals aren't the friends he wants them to be, but for four years, they're the closest he had. So Chris's mind feeds him the delusion that he has friends. At graduation, his brain says "DELUSION UPGRADE! Not only were they your friends, but you couldn't see them after graduation!"

So what about his parents? You're right, that's an example of Chris being unusually intelligent and forward-thinking. I think Chris had to accept that children, as a rule, outlive their parents, and this was made easy for him since his parents were elderly (and they no doubt reminded him of this frequently). They may have even just said "We won't be here forever" as old people tend to do. When it came time to consider this, Chris's brain said "DELUSION UPGRADE! Well, you won't exactly have mommy forever, but you can have a HOT YOUNG FUCKABLE MOMMY!" Chris was willing to accept a small truth in exchange for a bigger delusion, and remember, he can't lie to himself if he doesn't first know the truth, on some miniscule level.

I hope that made sense.

 

[Christ-Chan]

At his graduation, Chris saw his friends walking away, and realized there was no school tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day. He cried because he could see his friends being taken from him. He can admit to this why? Because deluding himself into thinking he'd never be without his friends, and then being upset when he loses those friends is a better delusion than realizing they were never his friends in the first place. Remember, Chris bases most of his life on TV. He has to have a concept that REAL friends meet outside of school. Somehow, a tiny brain cell recognizes that his gal-pals aren't the friends he wants them to be, but for four years, they're the closest he had. So Chris's mind feeds him the delusion that he has friends. At graduation, his brain says "DELUSION UPGRADE! Not only were they your friends, but you couldn't see them after graduation!".

I used to think they were probably pretty detached to him as well, but when you consider he ate school lunch with them, cooked together with them in home economics, had them come for his birthday party, cheer him up when he didn't get the awards he wanted and danced with him at prom, I think they actually cared more for him than we'd like to think. I'm not saying they were BFFs, but I think they might have been genuine friends to him, just not to the degree that he likes to imagine.

So why didn't he think they'd stay in touch? Well, he was moving towns for one thing, they might have told him they were going off for college somewhere else or, and this is just a theory, hanging out with friends outside of school may be a foreign concept to him. I can only speak for myself but that's the way I felt growing up - hanging out with friends at school was great but I didn't really like having people come over.

 

[Cwckifan]

All-in-all, is it possible that it's a mixture of both? I mean really, my parents didn't like it when I had people over to our house when I was a kid, so one could only imagine how the ridiculously strict barb (who wants nothing more than to protect her super speshul snowflake) would be. Moreover, if you don't have a lot in common, it's possible to have friends or friendly acquaintances, but not spend too much time with them outside of the odd party or dinner. Really, it doesn't seem like Chris has much in common with anyone in his life, so only imagine how it would be in high school (where being trendy is the law of the land)

 

[Marvin]

At his graduation, Chris saw his friends walking away, and realized there was no school tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day. He cried because he could see his friends being taken from him. He can admit to this why? Because deluding himself into thinking he'd never be without his friends, and then being upset when he loses those friends is a better delusion than realizing they were never his friends in the first place. Remember, Chris bases most of his life on TV. He has to have a concept that REAL friends meet outside of school. Somehow, a tiny brain cell recognizes that his gal-pals aren't the friends he wants them to be, but for four years, they're the closest he had. So Chris's mind feeds him the delusion that he has friends. At graduation, his brain says "DELUSION UPGRADE! Not only were they your friends, but you couldn't see them after graduation!".

I used to think they were probably pretty detached to him as well, but when you consider he ate school lunch with them, cooked together with them in home economics, had them come for his birthday party, cheer him up when he didn't get the awards he wanted and danced with him at prom, I think they actually cared more for him than we'd like to think. I'm not saying they were BFFs, but I think they might have been genuine friends to him, just not to the degree that he likes to imagine.

So why didn't he think they'd stay in touch? Well, he was moving towns for one thing, they might have told him they were going off for college somewhere else or, and this is just a theory, hanging out with friends outside of school may be a foreign concept to him. I can only speak for myself but that's the way I felt growing up - hanging out with friends at school was great but I didn't really like having people come over.

Yeah, pretty much this. I never thought they were great friends, but at least they went to one of his kiddy autist birthday parties. That's gotta mean something.

 

[Smutley]

It's very tacky to discuss the mental illnesses that others may have, but people have been throwing around terms like Psychotic, and Sociopathic, and Narcissistic, and Schizophrenic. I do have some experience with schizophrenics, and just like the Trendy Psycho, the disease is nothing like what is portrayed in popular culture - hallucinations in and of themselves are not an actual mandatory requirement, though they are the most popular due to the mystique and horror of them. A snippet taken directly from Wikipedia:

According to the revised fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR), to be diagnosed with schizophrenia, three diagnostic criteria must be met:

1.) Characteristic symptoms: Two or more of the following, each present for much of the time during a one-month period (or less, if symptoms remitted with treatment).

• Delusions
  Hallucinations
  Disorganized speech, which is a manifestation of formal thought disorder
  Grossly disorganized behavior (e.g. dressing inappropriately, crying frequently) or catatonic behavior
  Negative symptoms: Blunted affect (lack or decline in emotional response), alogia (lack or decline in speech), or avolition (lack or decline in motivation)
  If the delusions are judged to be bizarre, or hallucinations consist of hearing one voice participating in a running commentary of the patient's actions or of hearing two or more voices conversing with each other, only that symptom is required above. The speech disorganization criterion is only met if it is severe enough to substantially impair communication.

2.) Social or occupational dysfunction: For a significant portion of the time since the onset of the disturbance, one or more major areas of functioning such as work, interpersonal relations, or self-care, are markedly below the level achieved prior to the onset.

3.) Significant duration: Continuous signs of the disturbance persist for at least six months. This six-month period must include at least one month of symptoms (or less, if symptoms remitted with treatment).

I think there's some evidence there that he could be schizophrenic, or coupled with his depression possibly schizoaffective.