When was the last time you wrote a letter? Can you reply to this thread like you’re writing a letter?

[mister meaner]

Dearest fellow kiwi,

I hope you are well. I write to you today with great curiosity. When was the last time you have reflected upon a letter? What is it about adding pen to paper, and sending a physical message that seems much more sincere? Is it the effort that counts?

Or maybe it’s the ability to preserve a letters meaningful contents that’s more enticing. As a fellow QnA poster I’m sure you’d know how quickly things can disappear. Posts and threads disposed of, discarded, left inactive and forgotten. Everything’s fresh for about six seconds before it’s forgotten entirely. In a world where everything is forgotten and constantly changing, perhaps a nice letter provides a sense of comfort to keep. A reminder of the past. Perhaps that sense of preservation provides comfort. We don’t have much control of our lives or the passage of time, but we can control our letters.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours truly,

- Mr Mnr

 

[Weed Eater]

Greetings back to you, mister meaner!

I have been well, or rather, as well as I can be as of current. As for your wondering about letters, I personally cannot remember the last time I wrote traditionally on a piece of paper and sent out a formal "letter." Do greeting cards count? Even then I haven't sent out a physical card in a while either, but I do take great care in preserving the cards I have received over my years. I recall getting a "Bigfoot" themed birthday card from a close friend in my teens, yet somehow that card became lost through my things. Maybe one day it'll show up, who knows. I technically do the same thing with my emails, just as long as I remember to actually use a specific email address that has sensitive information on it. If I had remembered to back up the email response I got back from Brian May when I was a kid, I would've definitely done so. You absolutely are right on the nose when it comes to the idea of preservation, for myself I always considered that a great comfort, and losing certain memories or bits of writing always will bring me down in some way.

I look forward to any further correspondence, and I thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings (if you decide to do so.)

Best wishes,

- Weed Eater

 

[Fascist Frederick]

To whom it may concern,

@SandyCat is a nigger.

Regretfully,
Freddy

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

To the Kiwi reading this,

You're a niggerfaggot.

Sincerely,
Me

 

[Thunk Provoker]

Dear mister meaner,

I hope you are well too. I think I haven't written a letter since getting a computer. I agree with you on the way threads are just forgotten so quickly and it's sad when I think about it. I believe that they are discarded so fast because we believe they'll always be there. Paper is fragile and technology seems very resistant to time, so we feel secure that they will never be gone. Of course, everything withers away, and physical letters have more potential to be lost forever.

I apologize if this letter seems badly written, it's been a long time and I'm probably rusty.

- Thunk Provoker

 

[Fascist Frederick]

To the Kiwi reading this,

You're a niggerfaggot.

Sincerely,
Me

Massa's Little Buckle,

I read what you wrote in your last letter, where you said to anyone reading it that they are a niggerfaggot. I was going to protest, but then I saw that @SandyCat read it and I could not argue.

Thanks,
Fred.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

A

 

[Fascist Frederick]

A

The fact you did this and did not use the letter 'N' is a disgrace.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

Hello fellow forumer!

I am doing great, thank you. I hope you like the Kirby stationary I'm writing on! The last time I wrote a letter was probably sometime last year when sending a package of zines to Brazil (or maybe it was when I was sending a package of zines to somewhere else...) I keep all the zines and art that I receive in a binder, since I'm often trading art with other artists. Even when sending off commissioned paintings I like to write handwritten thank you notes to the buyer so I can better show my appreciation. My handwriting used to be, in proper technical terms, complete dogshit but due to recent study it has improved.
Enclosed in this letter you will find some more Kirby stationary, use it to write to your grandmother.

Best wishes,
MerriedxReldnahc

 

[Table Country]

I've never written a letter because I wasn't born in 1889.

 

[TFT-A9]

To Whom It May Concern:

There is a burning paper bag on your doorstep. Do what you will with this information.

Godspeed,
That fucker with the mecha avatar (no, the other one)

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Massa's Little Buckle,

I read what you wrote in your last letter, where you said to anyone reading it that they are a niggerfaggot. I was going to protest, but then I saw that @SandyCat read it and I could not argue.

Thanks,
Fred.

My dearest Fred,

I'm extremely glad that you have come to terms with being a niggerfaggot. It warms my heart.

Kind regards,
Massa's Little Buckie

 

[umami's milk]

like you're writing a letter

 

[Fascist Frederick]

My dearest Fred,

I'm extremely glad that you have come to terms with being a niggerfaggot. It warms my heart.

Kind regards,
Massa's Little Buckie

Dear Massa's Little Buckle,

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

You're fucking dead,
Fashy Freddy

 

[Iron Jaguar]

Dear OP,

You are a faggot.

Best regards,
Iron Jaguar

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Dear Massa's Little Buckle,

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

You're fucking dead,
Fashy Freddy

Dear Freddy,

You will never be a real woman. You have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no eggs. You are a homosexual man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection. All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors. Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even trannies who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected axe wound. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably male. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

Neck yourself,
Massa's Little Buckie

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Dear Freddy,

You will never be a real woman. You have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no eggs. You are a homosexual man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection. All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors. Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even trannies who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected axe wound. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably male. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

Neck yourself,
Massa's Little Buckie

Dear Massa,

You subhuman baboon. You literal nigger.

How dare you speak, you swarthy jungle monkey. How dare you open your big lipped, rim encrusted, menthol cigarette smelling mouth?

You are human trash, Diego Tyrone LeShawn de Maradona. Universally despised, derided and mocked. Your nationality and skin tone offers no hope to the world that South America can ever prosper. Crawl back in to the Brazilian jungle you came out of, you literal orangutan.

I hope you decide to sail your grandfathers skip to the Falklands and rape some sheep, as is in the negroes nature. It would still be the whitest pussy you ever had. Give Nigel and Robert a chance for some target practice, your sole use to the world. Argentinians obsession with a few windswept islands in the Atlantic is hilarious but sad. Coincidentally its the only worthwhile contribution Argentina has made to the medical field. The MUH LAS MALVINAS sentiment in the average negro Argentinian is both an early warning sign of autism in children, and early on set Alzheimer's in adults.

Take your black hairy fingers off your keyboard, and never talk about the human species again, you mockery of our supposed shared ancestor.. No amount of olive oil and wheat flour slabbed on your face every morning will make you white. It's about as delusional of an idea as your daydreams of European heritage.

You nigger.

You make Bolivia look like a beacon of civilisation.

You are the Baltimore of South America.

Go fertilise the pampas with you and your families corpses, its the best you can hope for in life. For the first time in your life, nigger, you have a job making food for beings vastly superior to yourself. Uruguayan cattle. Coincidentally, it would be the first time an Argentinian "man" provided for a family.

Die, Diego. No one would miss you. Except for Australian Aboriginals, who now would have no one to make them look good.

Sincerely,
Fashion Fred

 

[Lathe]

To whom it may concern,

Your appointment for gender affirming surgery has been moved up to next Thursday at 12:00 PM. Please call us back at 1800DOMINOS if you need to reschedule.

Thank you and have a nice day!

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Dear Massa,

You subhuman baboon. You literal nigger.

How dare you speak, you swarthy jungle monkey. How dare you open your big lipped, rim encrusted, menthol cigarette smelling mouth?

You are human trash, Diego Tyrone LeShawn de Maradona. Universally despised, derided and mocked. Your nationality and skin tone offers no hope to the world that South America can ever prosper. Crawl back in to the Brazilian jungle you came out of, you literal orangutan.

I hope you decide to sail your grandfathers skip to the Falklands and rape some sheep, as is in the negroes nature. It would still be the whitest pussy you ever had. Give Nigel and Robert a chance for some target practice, your sole use to the world. Argentinians obsession with a few windswept islands in the Atlantic is hilarious but sad. Coincidentally its the only worthwhile contribution Argentina has made to the medical field. The MUH LAS MALVINAS sentiment in the average negro Argentinian is both an early warning sign of autism in children, and early on set Alzheimer's in adults.

Take your black hairy fingers off your keyboard, and never talk about the human species again, you mockery of our supposed shared ancestor.. No amount of olive oil and wheat flour slabbed on your face every morning will make you white. It's about as delusional of an idea as your daydreams of European heritage.

You nigger.

You make Bolivia look like a beacon of civilisation.

You are the Baltimore of South America.

Go fertilise the pampas with you and your families corpses, its the best you can hope for in life. For the first time in your life, nigger, you have a job making food for beings vastly superior to yourself. Uruguayan cattle. Coincidentally, it would be the first time an Argentinian "man" provided for a family.

Die, Diego. No one would miss you. Except for Australian Aboriginals, who now would have no one to make them look good.

Sincerely,
Fashion Fred

Attention Freddy!

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Cordially,
Massa's Little Buckie

 

[Thumb Butler]

To whom it may concern,

Can catbois find true love in 2022?