I have a low tolerance for pretentious "euphoric" sorts, so Ayn Rand, Anton LaVey and Freud would be my top picks.
Freud gets under my skin the most, due to psueds considering his projection pure genius. As if saying "you want to fuck your mom and literally everything is sexual" is the peak of discourse. At the very least, most people know that the philosophies types like Rosseau and Rand peddled were (and still are) stupid, so they criticize them and their viewpoints accordingly. Freud doesn't get nearly the amount of shit he deserves, and my theories on that are because Freudian as a term just makes people feel intellectual, and most people have NO idea how much of a sensitive pussy he really was. Guy was given preferential treatment by his parents from an early-early age, and he treated his sister like shit, fainted over people disagreeing with him and was also a major cokehead.
Goes without saying, but Marx was a crock of shit. Discounting the pain and suffering his ideas have caused historically and even now, he's the peak example of philosophers almost universally being privileged, dainty to a fault and unable to take critique from detractors without calling them stupid or unenlightened.