Which spirit is less detectable on your breath at work?

[Forsaken Wanderer]

Hypothetically let's say you hated your job and to cope you wanted to keep a bottle of spirits in the car. When you parked up you would take a good drink, then a couple of times throughout the day you would come back for a top up. Which bottle of spirits is least likely to be detected on your breath? Thanks in advance.

 

[OrionBalls]

Had a coworker who would down entire bottles of Fireball then snack on Fireball candies and say “no way man I’m not drinking, that’s just the fireball candy” he had a DUI and had to have his dad and one of our coworkers drive him places(the bar). Real shame too he was really smart at welding and fixing things.

That shit doesn't discriminate. Addiction is just about the only true equalizer I know.

 

[SNU]

Also as a follow up. Be careful. Alcohol makes you think you're significantly better at everything including being sneaky. Alcoholics tend to think people don't know they are drunk but everybody knows. The alcohol makes you confident that you are acting normal and you could totally be a spy but in reality youre staring off into space, swaying back and foward, and taking way too long to react to things. There was an alcoholic at work once. It didn't occur to him that sober people don't print out 100 full color copies of a picture of a garden hose, walk into a room, put the pictures on a desk, say "thishs... is a hose..." Then walk out. He was there for a week and a half and after his 3rd dui in that time we never saw him again

 

[R00T]

Vodka and orange juice.
You can’t smell the vodka and you can mix it in an orange juice bottle 50/50 or better without being able to tell, or smell it in there either.

White girl oj is what we called it in high school.

Op just save your alcoholism for after work. Liquor will not make the job more fun and will just piss off your coworkers once they realize you’re a useless drunk.

 

[Bionicle Enthusiast]

https://youtu.be/OOCdIY_HKM4?si=LzXOvgA1TEw7gcS4

Mouth wash.

But in actuality, which I don't advise you doing, I don't think soju has a very strong scent of alcohol. I'll have to smell the bottle I have when I get home.

 

[Fareal]

Oxycodone.

Tell people you have 'migraine aura' and enjoy the deep comforting peace of opioid haze

 

[GR8 B8 M8 I R8 8/8]

I find the souls of college students give your breath the scent of not having brushed your teeth--

Oh you meant alcohol.
Just drink water, you pussy.

 

[Catler]

Alcohol on your breath is easy enough to cover up, but if you're drinking that much (and you are, no one just wakes up one day and drinks before work randomly) it's going to come out through your pores when you sweat and there's no avoiding that.

 

[Bionicle Enthusiast]

Soju does indeed just smell like a fruit rollup. I still don't advise doing so though.

 

[Forsaken Wanderer]

In all seriousness, it is most likely vodka. The whole point of vodka is to make it as tasteless and smooth as possible. (I'm talking true vodka here, not that flavored shit Absolute or Three Olives puts out) whereas all other spirits go out of their way to make it taste like "something".
I remember someone once telling me that is how vodka "martinis" and "vodka tonics" all started becoming popular.
Back it the 60's and 70's, it wasn't unusual for business men to have a couple of drinks on their lunch break, hence the "Three Martini Lunch".
But, gin is always infused with herbals, the most predominant of which being juniper, would make you come back to work smelling like an old xmas tree.
So, they started making these drinks with vodka instead, so nobody would be able to tell you had a couple with the boys over your chicken parm.

Vodka was what I was thinking as well, I've heard a lot of people say vodka sucks because it has no taste but I think it does, it tastes like a less floral gin. Damn men had it much better back then, no bitches in the office, got to have a drink and a smoke over their lunch break, and wear spiffy suits.

I know Q&A is a joke thread, but please don't actually drink mouthwash. Had a friend in the rooms who died doing that shit when she couldn't cope with life on life's terms anymore. There's a lot of crap in there that's not ethanol that can exacerbate other issues.

I use mouthwash in the morning already but just to wash my mouth not to drink, killing yourself with mouthwash would be a nasty way to go.

Alcohol on your breath is easy enough to cover up, but if you're drinking that much (and you are, no one just wakes up one day and drinks before work randomly) it's going to come out through your pores when you sweat and there's no avoiding that.

Sadly I do carry a lot of heavy shit at work and get very sweaty.

Also as a follow up. Be careful. Alcohol makes you think you're significantly better at everything including being sneaky. Alcoholics tend to think people don't know they are drunk but everybody knows. The alcohol makes you confident that you are acting normal and you could totally be a spy but in reality youre staring off into space, swaying back and foward, and taking way too long to react to things. There was an alcoholic at work once. It didn't occur to him that sober people don't print out 100 full color copies of a picture of a garden hose, walk into a room, put the pictures on a desk, say "thishs... is a hose..." Then walk out. He was there for a week and a half and after his 3rd dui in that time we never saw him again

Now that is proper drunk, I'm just talking about enough to relax and make the environment feel like it isn't so depressing. I did once drink before doing clay pigeon shooting and I think it helped me to keep the sights still.

 

[SNU]

Induce auto brewery syndrome. The general idea is that you use high dose antibiotics to ethnically cleanse your gut bacteria then do enemas of brewers yeast followed hanging upside down for a while. I don't know if this actually works but I can guarantee that you will at least get negative health complications