Who would win in a fight, Tom Cruise or Jeff Goldblum?

[IAmNotAlpharius]

Who would win in a brawl? Let’s assume both were magically in their prime.

 

[Niggasaurus Rex]

Yes.

 

[No. 7 cat]

Jeff Goldblum. Why is this even a question?

 

[oldTireWater]

Cruise is a midget, but Goldblum is a jew.

 

[knobslobbin]

Tom would definitely come first in Boldblum. What was the question again?

 

[verissimus]

I'm not sure, but I'll take my chances and bet on Jeff.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Jeff, because life finds a way.

 

[Smug Chuckler]

Jeff turns into a fly, Tom turns into a fly-boy.

 

[MrTroll]

I'm gonna say Tom. Jeff Goldblum is like 6'4, so he's probably never even been in a fight before because who is gonna fuck with such a big guy?

Tom Cruise is comparatively tiny (5'7 ish), which means insecure 5'9 dudes have picked on him his whole life. That kind of life experience hardens a man into the kind of guy who studies 8 different kinds of hand-to-hand combat and does 300 pushups a day.

So in conclusion, scrappy little closet case > tall skinny jew.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Jeff Goldblum every day of the goddamn week:

He'd even be saying the same shit.

 

[MediocreMilt]

Whichever one's insanity is more "playful" and "an act" will lose.

So Tom Cruise will win.

 

[Just Dont]

Tom because he does his own stunts.

 

[ShitlordroltihS]

Me, I would win, will win.