Disaster Why Are So Many Americans Choosing to Not Have Children? - It’s probably not selfishness, experts say. Even young adults who want children see an increasing number of obstacles.


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Researchers say that societal factors — like rising child care costs, unaffordable housing and slipping optimism about the future — have made it harder to raise children in the United States.

By Teddy Rosenbluth
Published July 31, 2024

For years, some conservatives have framed the declining fertility rate of the United States as an example of eroding family values, a moral catastrophe in slow motion.

JD Vance, the Republican vice-presidential nominee, recently came under fire for saying in 2021 that the nation was run by “childless cat ladies” who “hate normal Americans for choosing family over these ridiculous D.C. and New York status games.”

Last year, Ashley St. Clair, a Fox News commentator, described childless Americans this way: “They just want to pursue pleasure and drinking all night and going to Beyoncé concerts. It’s this pursuit of self-pleasure in replace of fulfillment and having a family.”

Researchers who study trends in reproductive health see a more nuanced picture. The decision to forgo having children is most likely not a sign that Americans are becoming more hedonistic, they say. For one thing, fertility rates are declining throughout the developed world.

Rather, it indicates that larger societal factors — such as rising child care costs, increasingly expensive housing and slipping optimism about the future — have made it feel more untenable to raise children in the United States.

“I don’t see it as a lack of a commitment to family,” said Mary Brinton, a sociologist who studies low fertility rates at Harvard. “I think the issues are very much on the societal level and the policy level.”

To some extent, experts like Dr. Brinton share the concern that Americans are having less children.

Fertility rates have been generally falling in the United States since the end of the baby boom in the mid-1960s. That decline accelerated after 2008, a trend that has been widely attributed to the Great Recession, said Kenneth Johnson, a demographer at the University of New Hampshire.

Everybody thought, maybe they’ll just delay having their babies for a few years, and then they’ll make up for it when the economy and the country gets back on its feet,” he said. “It never happened.”

Last year, the total fertility rate dipped to 1,616.5 births per 1,000 women, a historic low that is far less than the rate needed to maintain the population size, 2,100 births per 1,000 women.

A recent survey by the Pew Research Center found that a growing number of adults said they were unlikely to ever have children. Even before the Covid-19 pandemic, nearly half of U.S. counties reported more deaths than births.

In addition, the average age at which Americans are marrying and starting to have children has increased, most likely contributing to the fertility decline. In 2023, the median age of women who were marrying for the first time was 28 — about six years older than in the 1980s.

The average age when women give birth to their first child has also risen substantially, from age 20 during the baby boom to 27 in 2022.

Immigration to the United States helps offset population loss. Yet experts fear that shrinking generations could cause schools to close, economic development to stall and social programs like Social Security to run an even larger deficit.

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JD Vance, the Republican vice-presidential nominee, has proposed tax breaks and more voting power for parents. But experts say there is little evidence to suggest that policies rewarding people for having children are successful on their own.

Notably, studies of the reasons behind the fertility decline don’t reveal a dramatic shift in the desire to have children.

Many Americans in their teens and 20s still report that they want two children, said Sarah Hayford, the director of the Institute for Population Research at Ohio State University. The fact that many of those adults don’t realize those goals probably means that external factors are making it more difficult to be a parent, she said.

Survey data suggests that many young adults want to hit certain economic milestones before having children — they might want to buy a house, pay off student debt or comfortably afford child care, said Karen Benjamin Guzzo, a family demographer at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

Reaching those milestones has become increasingly difficult, she said, as mortgage rates have risen sharply and child care costs have soared.

As fewer women opt to stay home to raise children, the absence of policies that support working families — like paid maternity leave and stable child care — may also be leading couples to believe they’re not prepared to be parents, Dr. Guzzo added.

The decision to have children, which she views as the “ultimate vote of confidence” in the future, may also be affected by how optimistic people are about the state of the world, she said.

A study by sociologists in the Netherlands found that people who said they thought the future generation’s prospects were “much worse than today” were less likely to become parents.

Right now, there are plenty of reasons young Americans might be pessimistic, Dr. Guzzo said, including climate change, frequent gun violence and the recent pandemic.

This might explain why fertility rates have been declining in most developed countries — not just in the United States — despite differences in their economic systems and social welfare policies.

“It’s not about being selfish and saying, ‘I’m not having kids because I want to sleep in all the time,’” Dr. Guzzo said. “When fertility rates are down, to me, that’s because people don’t feel like they have a future that they feel confident in.”

If there has been any shift in attitudes toward parenthood, Dr. Hayford of Ohio State said she believed that younger Americans were now more focused on whether they could offer a child “the best experience possible.”

In interviews she conducted with teenagers and adults in their early 20s, Dr. Hayford said, they often stressed the importance of improving their own patience and anger management to ensure they would be able to one day support their children’s emotional needs.

And some research suggests that younger generations have a higher bar for the amount of money required to raise a child.

Having children is something that people feel like they can make a choice about,” Dr. Hayford said. “They are really reluctant to enter into parenthood if they can’t provide what they think children need.”

Exactly how to change the trajectory of a so-called baby bust is still a mystery. Last year, former President Donald J. Trump floated the idea of offering a “baby bonus” to incentivize more families to have children.

“I want a baby boom!” he told a crowd of supporters. “You men are so lucky out there.”

Mr. Vance, his running mate, has advocated tax breaks for households with children and even an altered election system in which parents would have more voting power than people without children.

There is little evidence to suggest that policies designed to reward people for having children are successful on their own, Dr. Guzzo said. Governments in some countries have tried to increase fertility rates with cash incentives, tax breaks and generous parental leave, yielding modest or no success.

Since declining fertility is the result of a range of societal problems, Dr. Guzzo said, legislation that addresses broader issues — like student loans, unaffordable housing and parental leave — is more likely to spur change.

“In our view, every policy is a family policy,” she said.

A correction was made on Aug. 1, 2024: An earlier version of this article misstated the total fertility rate in 2023 and the replacement rate. The figures are 1.6 and 2.1 births per woman, not per 1,000 women.
 
I and my partner...
I hear this excuse from incels constantly to justify why they refuse to be intimate with women, as if all women are going to back-stab the father from seeing their children. Just admit you'd fail as a father instead of shafting your problems onto the opposite sex.
The "courts prefer women to men in divorce cases" is a myth. When men attempt to get custody they are more successful than women. When the father is actively involved the court favors them over women. The stats get it wrong because they count all cases, which includes many cases where the father didn't show up or didn't ask for any custody.

The courts also often seek to maintain status quo for the children. So if the father has left for a substantial amount of time, not maintained regular contact, not participated in caring for the children, he is unlikely to get substantial custody. The court default is now 50/50 in most places. https://steinsperling.com/do-fathers-have-an-equal-opportunity-to-get-custody-of-their-children/

Men can easily abandon their children while women get shafted with the childcare. Men refuse to put in as much work to see their kids in custody cases.
You could literally use this excuse for men as well, but it's idiotic because fearing the absolute worst could happen in a particular circumstance is what prevents you from getting ahead in life, and you're judging an entire sex based on the actions of a minority.
The fact your faggot ass refuses to have children gives me hope for the future. Please carry on.

Goodness, you feel strongly about this one.

Rest assured I’ve fulfilled my biological purpose, but also have a very fortunate situation that not all women are able to have that allows me to keep them busy with extracurriculars and healthy peer groups.

No time for Discord or Roblox troon predators here.
You do realize you can keep your kids off discord or roblox without endless extracurriculars, right?
 
I want my kids to be good people who will stand up for what's right.

We are not the same. Easier to make a dozen like mine in spartan conditions, than 1 like yours. Too bad for you. Enjoy losing.
Shitting out kids and not having the money to properly care for them is third-world behavior, my man. Some people actually want their kids to be comfortable and not have to struggle like they did. Stop being an insufferable cunt.
 
Shitting out kids and not having the money to properly care for them is third-world behavior, my man. Some people actually want their kids to be comfortable and not have to struggle like they did. Stop being an insufferable cunt.
You have a "partner." You are not forming a family, you are fucking around. Talk about animalistic behavior. Stay out of the way and let human civilization continue.
 
The fact your faggot ass refuses to have children gives me hope for the future. Please carry on.
If you had the reading comprehension skills of an adult instead of a porn-addicted zoomer you would have seen that I'm choosing not to have children at this time is because of money. Woe is me for wanting to be a responsible parent. People with the lack of financials or resources shouldn't have kids.
 
If you had the reading comprehension skills of an adult instead of a porn-addicted zoomer you would have seen that I'm choosing not to have children at this time is because of money. Woe is me for wanting to be a responsible parent. People with the lack of financials or resources shouldn't have kids.
"You disagree with me so you are porn-addicted!" :story:

The average American makes less than 40 grand a year and plenty of them have children. In fact, the birth rate for women is inverse to the amount of money they make. If you personally make more than 40 grand at your soulless corp job in addition to whatever your "partner" makes, you are doing better than the majority of Americans.
 
"You disagree with me so you are porn-addicted!" :story:

The average American makes less than 40 grand a year and plenty of them have children. In fact, the birth rate for women is inverse to the amount of money they make. If you personally make more than 40 grand at your soulless corp job in addition to whatever your "partner" makes, you are doing better than the majority of Americans.
Most of those "Americans" are probably third-worlders living on the government dole. I don't know any white person making less than 40k who has a bunch of kids unless they are getting gibs, or they had a spouse that made quite a bit more money.

I live next to an apartment full of illegals. Most of those people work shit jobs and yet they have 5-10 kids per family. Is that sustainable and good for the country?
 
Most of those "Americans" are probably third-worlders living on the government dole. I don't know any white person making less than 40k who has a bunch of kids unless they are getting gibs, or they had a spouse that made quite a bit more money.
You must live under a rock or some godforsaken blue hellhole.

I live next to an apartment full of illegals. Most of those people work shit jobs and yet they have 5-10 kids per family. Is that sustainable and good for the country?
2-5 children from a native couple isn't 5-10 anchor babies from some invaders. "Sustainable" is leftist programing to dissuade whites from having children while they flood the nation with browns to inflate electoral points and gain a captive voting block.
 
Because people are defeatist cucks who don't want to give up hobby money or blackpill themselves about how "oooooh, but the world is so terrible". So they decide to not reproduce, which is exactly what the system wants from the people who would actually question it.

They fell for the propaganda hook, line, and sinker. A good way to find these people is look for the usual "It costs $XXX,XXX to raise a kid". Yup, no cost of living factored in. No "over what time span". No accounting for differences in raising. They just see that figure and nope out. That's all that "the powers that be" have to do, lmao.
 
Because people are defeatist cucks who don't want to give up hobby money or blackpill themselves about how "oooooh, but the world is so terrible". So they decide to not reproduce, which is exactly what the system wants from the people who would actually question it.

They fell for the propaganda hook, line, and sinker. A good way to find these people is look for the usual "It costs $XXX,XXX to raise a kid". Yup, no cost of living factored in. No "over what time span". No accounting for differences in raising. They just see that figure and nope out. That's all that "the powers that be" have to do, lmao.
If you can raise a kid off hobby money, good for you!

I guess either pretend kids are free, have a lucrative career, or go on the dole.
 
I think the simple fact is that women don't want to have kids, because they have to sacrifice more (in terms of body and time spent raising them) in order to do so. There's still a perception that a woman has to work a full time job, then she has another full time job at home waiting for her in the form of taking care of kids and husband. As much as we like to pretend that housework/childcare is 50/50, the truth is, women do most of it. We're also a society of atomized individuals who focus on themselves. If you have kids, then you automatically have to stop living solely for yourself and spend a lot of time taking care of energetic little buggers who won't listen. Most women have been taught that their autonomy and agency are the most important things in their lives. Having kids is like putting on shackles and becoming a slave. Someone has to birth the babies, but society doesn't reward women who do that, except via welfare payments to single mothers.
 
People got selfish, lazy and entitled. That's it. Even those who have kids, it's not about the family, duty, and responsibility. It's about the lifestyle.

"Muh cost too high"
You think people had no kids when shit went south during great depression?

You think people stopped having families during revolutions and shit?

Lol


This generation is done.

Baby boomers may have come close to ending our civilization but gen z will certainly end it.
 
I think you should just kill yourself. You clearly believe you are in some hell where nothing is going to get better might as well just end it.
Agreed. I think every single blackpiller should just KYS.

No matter how many examples you give of people making ends meet and coming out in the end better, it's never enough. They think they have it figured out, and maybe they do. Except then they just quit. "Why bother trying to do anything it won't matter", so then they proceed to do nothing and, fucking shocker, nothing gets better for them.

Much easier to just sit in the pod, play elden ring, then jerk off.
 
Among the younger set (under-30's) it seems to be ideological. Not that there's much thinking involved, I've yet to hear any interesting justifications (frankly I don't hear muh climate or muh money or whatever often either), it's more like a mental malaise, a "default" non-thinking thought of "but why I have kids durrrr". Moderns don't have much in the way of philosophy one way or another.

If finances were the reason then birth rates would be reversed with niggers and po whites having 1.2 kids and UMC or rich people having 12... though you do see the occasional rich person breeding a pretty big litter. I've noticed a novel phenomenon of the perma-couple, people who are together for years and years, pushing 30 or in their 30s, but they don't even talk about kids. These people are not financially strapped. They are often both working decent jobs. It's some kind of social malaise rat experiment shit like otterly said, hell even on this site, which is notably free of normies, you have people doing the "durrr but why I have kids" routine.

Because it's your purpose you fucking loser, you will never be anything greater than yourself, you will never transcend your cummies and sugar hits, your lifetime achievement stops at a teenage level (even some teenagers manage to reproduce), so enjoy your permanent childhood and lonely death.
Society is falling apart because of weak faggots raised with a "soft and comfortable" childhood.

Children should be kept safe, but safety doesn't mean safetyism, mommy ordering "softness" and pillows and cossetting and tutors and coddling and sweets and indulgence.

I see the outcomes of UMC professional parenting daily and it turns my stomach. You raise neurotic little brats and it's no wonder they don't want to go on with life, let alone perpetuate.

Like a tomato plant, human beings need adversity to thrive.

Largely agreed. A factor that I haven't seen anyone explicitly call out is the rise of the absolute cancer that is pop psychology. It's probably unfair to blame it all on boomers, but I'm pretty sure the human potential movement, social work becoming a thing, prioritizing "fulfilment" and "empowerment", and the ultimate importance based on "self-confidence" all started in academia and caught on with the masses via 60s counterculture. Gen X were mostly just coddled, but it got worse with millennials and later. That was around the time positive psychology started getting conflated with psychiatry and mutated into our current status quo of assholes medicalizing every moral failing or outburst or uncomfortable emotion, blaming their "condition" for everything;

It's a retarded copout for adults, but children are so vulnerable to having their behavior medicalized that it's almost predatory to do so. Like sure I get some kids really do have intractable issues but 95% of the time or more pinning "ADHD" or "autism" or "anxiety" or even "depression" on them is just lazy parents who are addicted to instant gratification looking for a fast easy solution or magic pill. Parenting is work, much easier to get your kid a diagnosis, which you can invoke to make your kid's behavioral issues everyone else's problem.

Anyway, my point is that the mental health industry sprang up around con artists who saw there was big money in self-help books, client-centered psychotherapy, medications, etc if people were encouraged to prioritize their own self-fulfillment, but also to drive themselves nuts navel-gazing and hyper-fixating on the question of whether they are happy enough. It compounded over a couple generations and now many people don't reach any kind of emotional maturity until well after they've graduated college and spent a few years "finding themselves" Eat Pray Love-ing around the globe on their parents' dime, and adolescence has been basically extended until the age of 30.

No one bringing up how biased the court system is against men?

I'm not risking having a kid and then losing access because an activist judge thinks it's ok to fuck fathers over.

For every case where a woman lies about abuse or uses some other scummy tactic to keep collecting child support while denying the father access to the child, there are ten cases of men being deadbeats who want nothing to do with their kid and refuse to pay a dime towards their upbringing.
 
I really don't think it's the cost. I roll with rich niggaz and over half of them aren't reproducing.
The money cost is a concurrent excuse. The real cost is time and each of us, rich or poor, has 24 hours a day to spend and kids WILL consume and overdraw that. Are you willing to sacrifice some shitposting time on KF to change dirty diapers?
No one bringing up how biased the court system is against men?
Men never show up; fathers who do often get a benefit, though avoiding the court system entirely is the way to go.
Incels are the guys women have absolutely no interest in being with. They can't just decide to have sex.
Incels can just decide to not be incels, log off, and go outside. I know three personally who’ve done it and now have wives and kids.
There is no greater joy in life than the first time your child gets banned on Roblox for using racial slurs
Having to explain to your children how fucking nigger shiteater is inside words not for school or church is a joy and a burden.
Plus, I just don't think I would make a great father.
We don’t need great fathers. We need good ones, and good basically boils down to “involved with the children and does things morally”. It’s not that high of a bar but it involves self-sacrifice, which is antithetical to modern sensibilities.
the kind of poverty that is characteristic of urban poverty in recent decades
Urban poverty is hell even with all the support you can get. Meanwhile I know a number of extremely happy people who grew up literally poorer than appalachians in trailers - and if you tell them they were poor they get terribly confused and wonder what you mean.

There are women who want families (always this - not “kids” mind you, what people want is family) and it’s the “man’s job” to provide a safe and secure environment for that. Your woman is on your side and will do whatever she can to support you - including convincing herself that she doesn’t want any children because you’re always worried about spending or X or whatever. Fight hard for self-sufficiency and save and be amazed.

Oh and be absolutely fucking shameless about milking the government teats at all possible opportunities. Staying off “the dole” because “that shit is for niggers” is counterproductive. Any family with a few kids should be a net drain on this shitty fucking POS government and its setup that way. ACA, food stamps, housing assistance, whatever, milk milk milk that shit.
 
You write like you have absolutely no say in how your own children are raised.

Again, if you are a weak loser who expects you will hand everything off to institutions and government flunkies, that's an understandable and reasonable assumption.

Or you could be a winner like your ancestors and not do that, and make a different kind of future.
Okay, thank you for confirming that you are indeed an ignorant sped who hasn’t a fucking clue that society has shifted an iota in the last century. That families atomize and it’s considered a good thing when you and your siblings wind up a continent away from the folks now, that neighborhoods aren’t more than where your house happens to be located, and that church groups and the like are increasingly just old people daycare co-ops.

You are an absolute mental case if you think the average American family could weather a new Depression the way y’all did when you were a sprout.
 
Maybe it has to do with young people being told having kids will kill the planet and women being told children will be a burden.
Children ARE often a huge burden. Like there’s not really any denying that. Having kids is definitely not for everyone and already way too many retards have kids that shouldn’t.
 
the ability to have children without a woman.
You can’t have children without a woman. Women birth children. If women are too revolting to you to shack up for life and breed with then you don’t get to have kids.
The artificial womb will empower men to have a family, while allowing those women who don't want children to have lives without heavy societal pressure or relationships that end in a breakup/divorce.
The artificial womb, beloved of troons and child traffickers, will allow children to be commissioned and sold like products. Children are not products. Every child needs a mother and a father. They are not a right. They are not something it should be possible to buy. Artificial wombs will usher in a field day for people wanting to buy children to abuse, slaves, organs to harvest etc. It’s a horrible idea.
 
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