Why are there no First Nations or Aboriginal Lolcows?

[Punished Derich]

Even on the normalfag internet I see scathing stories about both, are they just too drunk/high to involve themselves in internet drama or do they hide in Facebook groups like Africans

 

[gamerweeb1]

They don’t broadcast their stupidity to the internet.

 

[Haloperidol]

Social media cuts into rama rama time.

 

[pollution jim]

Don't they believe when they get pictures taken of them the camera literally captures their soul? that probably is why

 

[Éamonn Ceannt]

I think it's because lolcows, at least those that broadcast their crap, are statistically so insignificant that some groups just don't have the numbers to make them. Same reason why we don't have lolcows who speak Gaeilge. There just aren't enough people in that demographic. Granted, that also is because of the prevalence of English.

 

[gamerweeb1]

Don't they believe when they get pictures taken of them the camera literally captures their soul? that probably is why

Oh yeah, that is actually true.

We can commit Abo genocide by mass picture taking.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

@Dyn has more info on this matter.

 

[Dyn]

Don't they believe when they get pictures taken of them the camera literally captures their soul?

No. There's a taboo against seeing the images of dead people, and since everyone will eventually die a lot of indigenous prefer not to be photographed in case their family accidentally see it during the mourning period. Having a whole bunch of photos/videos of yourself all over the place where nobody can control them is seen as being inconsiderate.

 

[HyperboreanRightsActivist]

OP is a dumb nigger

Spoiler

I would make a thread on Nurse Reno if enough people were interested

 

[GameratePTSD]

I have footage secretly recorded of Dyn and his derelict children harassing the local Hungry Jacks because they didn't have "sustagen".

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

I remember an article on ED about some Indian who lived in a trailer in Florida and collected welfare from the government and had a bunch of videos of him being an alcoholic loser. They called him "Chief Works No More."

Other than that I can't think of any unless the one village of Aboriginals which is ran by metal-themed gangs like "The Judas Priests" count because that shit was funny.

 

[Fat Gollum]

Do they even have internet access?

 

[Alex Hogendorp]

Do they even have internet access?

Very shitty internet connections mind you because they're in a remote place.

 

[Uncle Phil]

Very shitty internet connections mind you because they're in a remote place.

There's some of that but the real remote communities, like way up north in Canada, are also very small.

There are tons of people with native ancestry living an urban or suburban life largely integrated into mainstream culture but they still tend to be fairly family-oriented and socially insular.

The ones who ARE active on social media tend to be the "one-sixteenth Cherokee" type of wannabes who might technically qualify for native status but they look and act so white that their behaviour doesn't really reflect on the more authentic native communities. These are the kind of people who you'd never even know had native blood except they insist on telling you and waving their card around.

 

[Cassius Crayfish]

Does Lidia Thorpe count?

 

[Black Spruce]

If you've ever actually visited any of the reserves, you'd know why. They're too drunk and drugged all the time to broadcast themselves across the internet. The ones from dry reserves spend the majority of the summer in the woods outside of towns that have liquor stores. They don't go on the internet at all during that period. They just wander around in the woods like zombies because they have brain damage from binge drinking with their special native welfare money every day during the summer. Their entire culture is a lolcow. But you have to physically go out to observe them.

 

[Unicorn Fairie]

67 IQ is a bit too low to properly use a computer. Although some in the north have figured out LGBTQIA+ culture!

 

[Grub]

Their entire culture is a lolcow. But you have to physically go out to observe them.

Having lived in close proximity to them for most of my life this is pretty accurate. It's all self induced because they can't give up their gibs. Nothing's stopping them from just living like normal modern people. They just have a perpetual stick up their ass about being conquered a couple hundred years ago by people who had the audacity to not just completely genocide them from existence and rather than just accept it they'd rather live in drug and liquor riddled poverty on their reserves getting their pittances from the government doled out by their chiefs who live in nice houses and drive nice cars. And, for all they like to bitch and complain about their 'ancestral native territories' and the environment, they are the literal worst for clear cutting, mining and completely pillaging and destroying any piece of land they get their hands on.

 

[toe_schnitzel6969]

they all live in mud hut villages without running water or electricity

 

[stares at error messages]

They don’t broadcast their stupidity to the internet.

We need to get them Obama Phones.