why are you still single - and general discussion of the dating game

[veri]

is it by choice? if not, what is stopping you from finding someone? what are some obstacles you have noticed when it comes to dating? if it is by choice, what makes you choose to be single and do you have advice to share? we could have a cope circle, or maybe share some struggles and advice here to help each other out

personally, no one shows me any interest and i don't know how to approach men as they have been very rude in the past, and i don't know how to explain that most of my free time is spent shitposting here

 

[Underperforming]

Because i do not go outside

 

[Tomboy Respecter]

I'm single because I don't have the time to go hang out with people that have similar interests to me (so 80's style tech and science nerds) in grad school. That kinda puts a damper directly on the type of women I can meet and actually form a bond with (which are already not all that common) in addition to reducing the number of meaningful friendships I can have that can get me introduced to a nice lady in one way or the other. When I had time to hang out with such people in undergrad, I was a bit immature and not ready to look for any woman at the time. Now, I kinda miss that freedom and am looking forward to leaving this dead-end town to go somewhere where there are more opportunities to meet like-minded people in addition to a woman I can spend my life with.

 

[DDBCAE CBAADCBE]

I don’t hate women or anything. I believe there are good and sane women out there. I just haven’t met one.

 

[Tanuki Mixed Nuts]

I really haven't felt the need to seek out a relationship in years.

I tried to do the whole thing in my early adulthood but ended up burnt and losing interest. Not exactly sure how I would even go about finding somebody unless they just outright fell into my lap.

 

[Joe Swanson]

I'm not

 

[Bloody Kotex]

I'm a problematic person, no guy deserves to go through all the nonsenses just to put up with me.

 

[FILTH Tourist]

I'm apparently the only white guy in Asia too autistic to get a girlfriend. I didn't do much dating in high school or college, but now that I am abroad and entering the dating market for the first time I have no fucking clue what to do. Language barriers, cultural barriers, and general autism has made it extremely difficult to get a relationship off the ground. Outside of the occasional first date, I am currently just focusing on learning the language and getting fit to help get some form of an edge. Autistic Kiwis who have finished their love quest, can you help a brother out?

 

[PaleTay]

I live in a dead area of town, and I want a smart, fit, ideally blonde who doesn't get offended by me. I think I missed out on quite a few growing up because I was antisocial for a bit when my dad died, others moved, or assumed I was dating one of the girls who liked me.

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

It's not because I'm fat, timid and autistically focused on obscure dos games, I'll tell you that.

 

[veri]

smart, fit, ideally blonde who doesn't get offended by me.

oh yeah, men like that too seem few and far between. maybe it's different in other places but even men are now very easily offended or betas, or it could be they try to come off that way and intentionally be on their best behavior around women? unfortunately many men who are fit already have a gf as well

 

[Joe Swanson]

I'm apparently the only white guy in Asia too autistic to get a girlfriend. I didn't do much dating in high school or college, but now that I am abroad and entering the dating market for the first time I have no fucking clue what to do. Language barriers, cultural barriers, and general autism has made it extremely difficult to get a relationship off the ground. Outside of the occasional first date, I am currently just focusing on learning the language and getting fit to help get some form of an edge. Autistic Kiwis who have finished their love quest, can you help a brother out?

You literally just need to understand their language and culture and work around that

 

[xX_rAcE_wAr_420_Xx]

At the risk of being gay, because my several-year-old relationship ended abruptly and I haven't quite figured out what I want to do now. We had been engaged for a couple months, discussing weddings and kid names and that shit, and one day she said she just fell out of love and was done with it. That was a few months ago, and I've been figuring out what to do next.

Part of be wants to buy into the blackpill mindset that it's proof that no women want a true, lifelong commitment, and I'm too old to start over anyway, so I need to settle for whatever I can find. That's kind of depressing and pathetic though, so I don't like that.

For now I'm just focusing on getting in better shape and building my hobbies and career more. Translating that into actually meeting single women, though, might be a bit trickier. Maybe I'll try Tinder or one of those apps, but that just sounds like torture (especially in a very liberal, hipster city where I can't say the n-word). I dunno, I kind of subscribe to the idea that you have to build a good life and everything will come from that.

 

[Spicboyskafan]

Too socially retarded to even bring up a proposition for a date let alone a relationship. But in my head, I believe it's because of my height thus making me look weak and pathetic. Broke as shit too.

 

[Cup Noodle]

Single by choice. I knocked the pussy down when that was something that mattered to me. Actually I take that back. Knocking down the pussy started mattering to me but I was a fat fuck that couldn't get any pussy so I lost a shit ton of weight and gained a shit ton of muscle and then the pussy gravitated towards me. Be tall, slim, and white and you will have no problem getting fucked. If you can't be all three at least be slim. In my old age I'm gaining a beer belly, but at this point it doesn't even matter. I had my kids and I'm in their life every day. That was a big goal for me. I'm not opposed to taking on another woman, but my life is pretty damn good without one so I'm cool.
I'm going to be biggoted and assume that you are female because you are looking for a man. All men are rude to each other. It's how we separate out the weak. We troll each other IRL. It's quite fun actually. If you can take it and/or laugh about it you are a bro. If not you will be looked down upon. Fucking pussies. Might as well go and get their penises inverted. If you see dudes being rude to each other that is just normal behavior. Pay it no mind. If they are rude to you though, either they are shit or you are shit. Men generally treat women with a lot more deference. If you try to act like dude bro chick though they will treat you as a dude bro.
I need to keep up appearances and sexually harass and just harass you as is my character here. Hit me up in PM's bitch and I will give you the best dicking of your life. I'll choke you nearly to death and you will cum harder from it.

 

[ChristianKiwi]

I've no relationship experience and am a bit socially awkward. At the end of the day though, it's because the girls that I want don't want me, and I don't want the girls that want me. I also still live with my parents becuase NY is expensive and my friends don't live in the state anymore and I don't drive because everything is pretty much in walking distance.

Spoiler

Also, she would have to be a practicing Christian or willing to convert.

 

[veri]

We had been engaged for a couple months, discussing weddings and kid names and that shit, and one day she said she just fell out of love and was done with it. That was a few months ago, and I've been figuring out what to do next.

i can't speak for your relationship but in situations like that usually the dissatisfaction from the relationship is there for a while before saying anything about it. maybe being engaged put a new perspective on the relationship? either way even though it's a shitty thing to happen, it's better sooner rather than later instead of breaking up after marriage/children

Part of be wants to buy into the blackpill mindset that it's proof that no women want a true, lifelong commitment, and I'm too old to start over anyway, so I need to settle for whatever I can find. That's kind of depressing and pathetic though, so I don't like that.

a lot of us do want lifelong commitment. which is why i think that's the reason relationships abruptly end, maybe in your situation too, the major change and commitment of marriage can bring up compatibility concerns and second thoughts... it sucks to be on the other end of that but unfortunately no matter how much they're meant for you, if you're not meant for them it'll fall apart eventually, be it a divorce or infidelity later on. that's why you shouldn't settle either imo, it'll lead to the same problem and then you're at square one again

I kind of subscribe to the idea that you have to build a good life and everything will come from that.

agree. building a good life is difficult on its own it seems, at least in my opinion

 

[Shadfan666xxx000]

I have an awkward and complicated relationship with women. I've had numerous relationships which could have happened but the mommy issues my early years gave me and the way I ended up being a creeper in middle school damages my self esteem too much by high school on top of being a directionless sperg.
Even after I got over those issues, I ended up being an immature late bloomer who would make things harder for myself and I even got sabatoged and slandered by a psycho creep. I spent the past year ruminating on that issue amongst a million and just as I finally got a replacement lined up, my life took another shit on itself and I have months of trash to throw out.

 

[xX_rAcE_wAr_420_Xx]

i can't speak for your relationship but in situations like that usually the dissatisfaction from the relationship is there for a while before saying anything about it. maybe being engaged put a new perspective on the relationship? either way even though it's a shitty thing to happen, it's better sooner rather than later instead of breaking up after marriage/children

a lot of us do want lifelong commitment. which is why i think that's the reason relationships abruptly end, maybe in your situation too, the major change and commitment of marriage can bring up compatibility concerns and second thoughts... it sucks to be on the other end of that but unfortunately no matter how much they're meant for you, if you're not meant for them it'll fall apart eventually, be it a divorce or infidelity later on. that's why you shouldn't settle either imo, it'll lead to the same problem and then you're at square one again

agree. building a good life is difficult on its own it seems, at least in my opinion

It's a messed-up situation, because the way the whole thing played out was incredibly stereotypical. She never brought up the things that were bothering her, didn't tell me what she wanted, didn't believe I was committed - it felt like no matter what I did it wouldn't help. After it all played out, I sat there going through the scenario in my head, amazed at how well it fit the stereotypical red pill mindset.

Same idea as your archetypal bitter incel, I suppose. You feel like women are out to get you, or can't be trusted, or whatever. If you're not too far gone, you know in your heart it's not true, but it's tough when your lived experiences back up the theory. The cope, which hopefully is actually the truth, is that there are other things in your life that explain it, and you have to find those. Maybe it wasn't meant to be, like you said, and next time you recognize and confront it early on.

As to your situation, I have to admit I'm at a loss. There must be tons of men who would be ecstatic to date a based kiwi farms girl. You might need to overlook the anime bodypillows and jew-hunting gear, though.

 

[Zodiac]

I guess I chose to be single because I want someone who has some common interests and stuff, and I like getting to know potential partners before I make a jump. I want a real lifelong commitment, and I have a serious issue with not being attracted to someone unless I'm in love. I also have a few friends who constantly jump into relationships after getting to know their potential partner for like a week or less and it always ends poorly. I guess having seen the burnouts so often it makes me appreciate being single a little more and not being so desperate to be in a relationship.