why are you still single - and general discussion of the dating game

[Overcast]

How did you overcome the insecurity and fear of rejection. The gym used to work for me but it does not really help anymore.

It’s still there, just not nearly as bad as it once was.

I just try not to worry too much about it. In fact, I’ve grown to like the feeling of just trying regardless of success or failure. Women respect a man who puts himself out there and is able to shrug off rejection. Especially if you become friends afterwards. Plus, you never know, she might have a cute friend who she’d introduce you too if she likes you enough. Don’t expect it though.

Also turning to Christianity and going to the gym have done wonders for me and helped me embrace my nature as a man.

 

[Chump]

It’s still there, just not nearly as bad as it once was.

I just try not to worry too much about it. In fact, I’ve grown to like the feeling of just trying regardless of success or failure. Women respect a man who puts himself out there and is able to shrug off rejection. Especially if you become friends afterwards. Plus, you never know, she might have a cute friend who she’d introduce you too if she likes you enough. Don’t expect it though.

Also turning to Christianity and going to the gym have done wonders for me and helped me embrace my nature as a man.

Yeah well it's hard to be a christian man. With this girl I keep giving my self deadlines of what I should be doing and I keep just not doing it for fear of losing her.

 

[Overcast]

Yeah well it's hard to be a christian man. With this girl I keep giving my self deadlines of what I should be doing and I keep just not doing it for fear of losing her.

God doesn’t ask us to be perfect. Only to do our best to be good people. You don’t necessarily have to go to Church every Sunday or hold yourself to some ridiculously high standard. And you don’t need to be in a certain place or mental state in your life in order for him to help you. He’s there whenever you’re ready.

I won’t pry into what kind of relationship you two have. One thing I have learned though is that both sides of a relationship need to establish what it is they want. And fairly early on too. If what she wants doesn’t correlate with what you want, or if she’s not showing signs of interest in you, it’s best to move on.

 

[Shadfan666xxx000]

Yeah well it's hard to be a christian man. With this girl I keep giving my self deadlines of what I should be doing and I keep just not doing it for fear of losing her.

Don't worry about deadlines or some arbitrary milestone with these things. Love is an art, not a science and whatever you have planned should pan out regardless of your status with this girl and vice versa. Focus on your opportunity with her, give her what she wants and simply let her take you as you take her.

 

[svetlalala]

I only simp for Dear Leader and Dear Leader only simps for Chantal.

 

[Unyielding Stupidity]

Simply put, I'm not attractive, and that's basically a death sentence for actually having a relationship in the modern day.
Women don't date for personality - they'll lust over serial killers, pedophiles and all sorts of absolutely abhorrent individuals as long as that person's tall and has a nice jaw.

 

[Skitarii]

Cause schizo women make threads like these and you're telling me this is my dating pool?

 

[Nero You're DeadWeight]

I was pretty much the fat girl who turned into a cute nerd after getting my shit together after Highschool graduation. Had a good personality but who ever dates the fat girl in High School? I am decently attractive now but all of the men where I live are just kind of pussies or creepy as hell.
To keep it short, a guy who's sister killed a cop was the most normal if that means anything.

The guy's who want to get with me are either
- Hopeless romantics / pussies who can't even stand up for themselves
- Niggers
- Asain fetishizers
- Lonely nerds
- Incels

I dodged an actual pedophile and I STILL think about that.

I just have no interest and all of the shit I've been through has turned me off from dating all together for the most part.
I never even SEEKED these guys out, it just feels like all of the shit tries to get with me and I want no part of it. Sometimes I wonder if my standards ARE too high, but I'm glad they are if it keeps that shit far away from me. It doesn't help that I can pass for a minor which complicates things cause I'm just a very short woman. I enjoy my youth but god does it attract some whack asses.

I'm just a hyper girl who wants a guy who will join in my shenanigan's with me, and reel me in if I go too far. I'm just looking for my equal and I've yet to find em.

 

[LightDragonman1]

Still single at 28, and I have never even gone on a single date in my life.

Guess it's just because I like to stay by myself in my room. Besides, who would ever want to go out with someone who's nearly 30, yet still lives with their parents and can't hold onto a full-time job?

 

[Johnny Salami]

Dick to big, size will Penetrate through skin
size queens are crazy and fat

 

[Netizennameless]

You have no idea what "spark" means to a woman do you?

Women operate in the world of emotions, whereas men operate on logic. When she says you didn't make her FEEL a spark it means you didn't move her needle enough for her to get a read on you. Like you say you sound good on paper but if all you were was pleasant and polite and didn't excite her or make her laugh, or tease her a bit to get a rise out of her she can't get a feel for who you are. The feeling is the most important thing to her, even if it doesn't make any sense to you.

Pleasant and content and everything is fine are good things to us guys but to her emotions mean agitation, and any agitation good or bad is better than the needle staying in the middle. That's why they test and cause drama. It's not that they want to, per se, but because they all have a monster in them that makes no logical sense that demands agitation to feed it for her to feel safe. As fucked up as it is, that's why some women stay with abusers. They don't necessarily like the abuse, but on some deep level it makes the world make sense and they feel safe because they know where their man stands.

So it sounds like you are a "nice guy". Not the kind that blow up and send awful texts nice guys, but more of a you are too bland and agreeable so you are going to finish last nice guy.

You should work on being less polite and more direct with what you want. It won't work out every time, because everyone is different and women aren't really a hive mind with a magic code to get all of them but you do have to give her enough agitation to be able to make a judgement call about you. Being overly nice is like trying to get a ride without paying the fare, if you know what I mean.

To put it another way: in my experience women don't respect a man who doesn't have a red line. You have to be willing to let a woman walk away. Sometimes they will, but if they're really interested usually they won't.

If a woman doesn't respect you, she won't feel a spark for you. Being single is better than being in a toxic relationship.

 

[Chump]

Don't worry about deadlines or some arbitrary milestone with these things. Love is an art, not a science and whatever you have planned should pan out regardless of your status with this girl and vice versa. Focus on your opportunity with her, give her what she wants and simply let her take you as you take her.

Not gonna lie that sounded like sage adivce.

 

[Ser Prize]

I was pretty much the fat girl who turned into a cute nerd after getting my shit together after Highschool graduation. Had a good personality but who ever dates the fat girl in High School? I am decently attractive now but all of the men where I live are just kind of pussies or creepy as hell.
To keep it short, a guy who's sister killed a cop was the most normal if that means anything.

The guy's who want to get with me are either
- Hopeless romantics / pussies who can't even stand up for themselves
- Niggers
- Asain fetishizers
- Lonely nerds
- Incels

I dodged an actual pedophile and I STILL think about that.

I just have no interest and all of the shit I've been through has turned me off from dating all together for the most part.
I never even SEEKED these guys out, it just feels like all of the shit tries to get with me and I want no part of it. Sometimes I wonder if my standards ARE too high, but I'm glad they are if it keeps that shit far away from me. It doesn't help that I can pass for a minor which complicates things cause I'm just a very short woman. I enjoy my youth but god does it attract some whack asses.

I'm just a hyper girl who wants a guy who will join in my shenanigan's with me, and reel me in if I go too far. I'm just looking for my equal and I've yet to find em.

You can't control who you attract, only how you handle it.

T. had a mentally ill girl into me during highschool.

 

[AnotherOne]

Simply put, I'm not attractive, and that's basically a death sentence for actually having a relationship in the modern day.
Women don't date for personality - they'll lust over serial killers, pedophiles and all sorts of absolutely abhorrent individuals as long as that person's tall and has a nice jaw.

I mean you're mostly right, but even now I still see uggo asshole men pull. Trick is they don't give a shit. They'll pay for sex and laugh about it, or bang an obese woman with herpes, or hit on the cute cashier at little caesars (ngl I was super butthurt when I saw that go down), or impregnate a woman on the second date while already in arrears for child support with two other baby mamas. Recklessness is undeniably sexually successful, so in that sense personality does matter.

But even beyond that trashy stuff I still see kinda short dudes with weak chins walking around holding hands with women. Online dating and social media will eventually make neurotic incels out of everyone, but its not there yet.

 

[The Nothingness]

To add a bit more, I haven't figured what exactly my type is outside of physical appearance. That and having hobbies that I would be comfortable with being open about are things I need to work on.

 

[DumbDude42]

Recklessness is undeniably sexually successful, so in that sense personality does matter.

of course it does, just in the opposite way women usually say it does.
like you said, the kind of personality that actually works involves recklessness, audacity, aggression, disrespect. it's the complete polar opposite of what women say they want (meek, respectful, considerate, etc) and thus the complete polar opposite of what most boys are taught to be like from an early age.

 

[My Name is Ed]

I have the social and emotional intelligence of an especially withdrawn brick.

In the past it's because I could never really answer these questions:

• What do I say, at any point after first introduction, to indicate interest.
• What does eligibility look like, since I can't walk up to random people and saying "want bang",
• How do I determine that they're interested, and how to act on it.

Nowadays it's just because I'm somewhat innawoods where there are more sheep than people, so those questions don't need answering (even if the size of my dating pool hasn't changed).

 

[Chump]

Don't worry about deadlines or some arbitrary milestone with these things. Love is an art, not a science and whatever you have planned should pan out regardless of your status with this girl and vice versa. Focus on your opportunity with her, give her what she wants and simply let her take you as you take her.

Update things are going better even though a sperged out a bit. I was at her house tonight and we sat and watched movies in the living room and it was a good night with cuddling. Then she said it was bed time and she got up and went to her bed and I she was sitting there with her laptop expecting me to stay I think and I said well I am going to head home like a fucking idiot.

 

[YourFriendlyLurker]

he kind of personality that actually works involves recklessness, audacity, aggression, disrespect. it's the complete polar opposite of what women say they want (meek, respectful, considerate, etc) and thus the complete polar opposite of what most boys are taught to be like from an early age.

It does but only on short run. The image of agressive strong alfa male is sexually attractive because humans are actually animals and that's how it works in mother nature. However humans also tend to build a long-term relationships and that's where it stops working that good. Of course it's still good is you are strong ands active but there are other qualities that start playing the role like intellegence, communication skills, emotional intellegence, your money, your status etc. It's the same as watching porn where everyone has nice tits and big dicks, people jerk off to that but would they actually marry a porn-star? In other words, it depends on your goals.

 

[DumbDude42]

It does but only on short run. The image of agressive strong alfa male is sexually attractive because humans are actually animals and that's how it works in mother nature. However humans also tend to build a long-term relationships and that's where it stops working that good. Of course it's still good is you are strong ands active but there are other qualities that start playing the role like intellegence, communication skills, emotional intellegence, your money, your status etc. It's the same as watching porn where everyone has nice tits and big dicks, people jerk off to that but would they actually marry a porn-star? In other words, it depends on your goals.

the catch is that you need that alpha shit to get your foot in the door in the first place, without that you don't even get to the point where that other stuff starts mattering