why are you still single - and general discussion of the dating game

[Lidl Drip]

I'm hearing a lot of talk about "oh noo my hobbies I'm a catch but my hooobiieess".

Have you thought about just getting better hobbies? What's with this brand loyalty to the way you categorize the aesthetics you consume?

I'm a dyed-in-the-wool autist. If I never expanded beyond /mlp/ and e621 i'd be in a much worse position in life. You gotta be learning history, philosophy, aesthetics; more than anything else, the art of conversation. It's not about what you like. It's about being able to understand what  they like, and drawing that out of them.

Behind the branding it's all the same thing.


I'd like to give an update that after reading a few pre 20th century books on women, when people actually were willing to talk about the distinctions, I get the appeal now.

They're able to understand you in a holistic way rather than the discrete (not "discreet", you wise-acres; I don't mean "on the down low") way that men do.

That seems to be part of what's meant by referring to women as "the image of the image" and "the glory of the glory".

Best you can hope for is that one day you meet a woman who finds your catastrophic levels of autism endearing instead of viscerally repulsive, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

 

[California Newt]

Best you can hope for is that one day you meet a woman who finds your catastrophic levels of autism endearing instead of viscerally repulsive, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Don't you worry, "lidl" lady. There's a lot of viscerally repulsive women out there just for me. I do fine.

Pfft, I ain't giving up the few things I enjoy for some bitch.

I never mentioned giving anything up. Well, you should give up e621 but that's unrelated to women.

I was also more talking to the ladies in the thread who can't find chads at the sonic the hedgehog convention. You're much more likely to find your sonic chads at the gym or Church or something.

 

[Geddy Lee's Fee and See]

You're much more likely to find your sonic chads at the gym or Church or something.

People at Church or the gym tend to be better than your average person, but they are just as shallow and judgemental when it comes to brass tax. I find that people are very cliquey by nature and if you aren't part of a group, you will never be. Not to say Church or the gym is bad. Just don't go there expecring to meet new people or something like that. I kinda wish social clubs like retro compiter organizations, bands and the like were more common because that's probably why socialization is so poor nowadays (people just don't socialize normally anymore. Everything is online when it can be done in person) and that's probably the best place for an eccentric person to meet a spouse in the long run.

 

[California Newt]

People at Church or the gym tend to be better than your average person, but they are just as shallow and judgemental when it comes to brass tax. I find that people are very cliquey by nature and if you aren't part of a group, you will never be. Not to say Church or the gym is bad. Just don't go there expecring to meet new people or something like that. I kinda wish social clubs like retro compiter organizations, bands and the like were more common because that's probably why socialization is so poor nowadays (people just don't socialize normally anymore. Everything is online when it can be done in person) and that's probably the best place for an eccentric person to meet a spouse in the long run.

In my experience coffee hour at church is a great way to meet people, but it might depend on the Church.

Really you can start a productive conversation anywhere if you get good at it, but it helps to have a general breadth of knowledge or at least the ability to present your own interests in a way that are relevant to what they want to do or talk about.

It's just like a dialogue tree in an RPG. You can just throw up short dialogue options and people will often open one of them, and then you do more of that and after a while you wind up going somewhere.

Women are the same way but it's like they've got an "attention" meter and once it fills up they see you as a romantic option. That's one of the bigger differences between women and men; you really have to be careful about how much attention you're giving a woman. It helps to get a bad haircut

 

[Ibanez RG 350EX]

It's just like a dialogue tree in an RPG. You can just throw up short dialogue options and people will often open one of them, and then you do more of that and after a while you wind up going somewhere.

Well, I guess everyone calling you autistic is eating their words now.

 

[Fellen]

If I'm going to put myself out there, I've got to have the money in order to have a chance. As of now, I'm working towards that.

 

[California Newt]

Well, I guess everyone calling you autistic is eating their words now.

I entered the conversation calling myself autistic, so it's fine.

That being said people in general are getting so bad at socializing that sharing autist masking protocols with them feels like being promethius bringing fire to mankind. You guys need to get it together

 

[Surfin' Biiird]

at least 6 feet tall

so you're 5'11"?

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

That may also be my poor self-esteem. But then if you get to very overt flirting, it scares me away. I was morbidly obese in college (again, poor self-esteem which resulted in binge eating disorder) and no man would want me, or if they did, I told myself they didn't so I didn't even try. I think there was at least one guy who was interested, but again I just thought he was being polite.

I've heard this song and dance a number of times from women. The problem IS self-esteem. It's the old "Well I'm trash, so if he's into trash, then what's wrong with him?". I don't know why women do this. But I want to stress this more than anything. You have no clue how lucky you are. Women who have this thought process are the ones who fall into abusive relationships and never leave them.

I am so sick of messaging a guy and asking about him, or him just saying, "'Sup?" and then giving me absolutely nothing to work with. I ask what his hobbies are, and he says, "Idk, stuff."

Yeah, you messaged the fuckbois who have options. Congratulations.

I have a high-paying job (well... relatively speaking, it's not like I'm rich in this economy) and want someone who can provide while I have children. I'm not saying I want to stop working, but I want to have a family.

You priced yourself out of a man. If you want good options as a prospective wife, you cannot have men compete against your own happiness. If the narrative becomes "Well my life is great, and he has to improve that." Then you lost the game. You will die alone. No man worth his salt will compete uphill for you.

That said if any of you men are at least 6 feet tall

This is killing you. You cling to this standard and you're for sure going to die alone.

The older I get, the fewer people there are around me with my low level of experience. I fear that a man is going to look at me and think something is wrong.

The problem is your attitude. I'm only saying this because I've heard so many other women talk about the exact same story verbatim. The reality is you had low self esteem as a young woman, worked your butt off to improve yourself, and now you have a chip on your shoulder. Men do not want what you're offering and that will only get truer as time goes on. Your friends are probably right. Your standards are too high.

Sorry, I don't mean to sound like such an ass hole, but it's a trap hole I've heard a lot of women go through.

 

[Penis Drager 2.0]

Because I have a small penis and a huge inferiority complex.
Why else?

 

[Giles Corey]

The perfect thread to do some venting. The main problem for me is lack of opportunity. We all know that online dating is basically useless. I'm not a good texter so I'm fecked with online dating. I match with women and I usually get no conversation and if they do start conversing with me eventually they stop responding. I live in a small town so not many dating options there. I could go up to the city but if I was going to pull someone I'd have to be certain by ten over else I'll miss my bus home.

Lately, I've been coming to the realisation that I'm pretty much the bottom of the barrell when it comes to social status. I can count on one hand the amount of people that have reached out to me over the years.

Honestly, it was all stacked against me in secondary school. I had an autism assistant that would be in the same class as me all the time and sit with me constantly. My parents would pick me up during break times because "I wasn't ready" for that level of socialisation yet. Of course, no one would actually teach me any of this so as you could imagine the end result was being deliberately being kept away for the other kids. This had the obvious effect of actually worsening my social skills and maturity.

I pretty much spent 5 years at this center for people with disabilities. I have mixed feelings on this place because the people working there were nice but a lot of the people I interacted with were some of the most obnoxious pricks ever. Lived for drama and destined to spend their lives on welfare. That crowd. Thankfully, I pulled myself together went to a community college. Unlike my secondary school I was treated as a normal human being. Sadly, I was socially isolated while going there which greatly effected my mental health. Still, I was treated as a normal human being while going there at the end result was I did so well in that course that I got accepted into the best law school in my country.

I'm starting in September as a mature student (over 23) so hopefully things work out for me much better.

 

[Wot Zit Too Yah0996]

Because I need to start approaching women. They approach me practically all the time, and I barely notice generally.

 

[California Newt]

@Giles Corey

I can count on one hand the amount of people that have reached out to me over the years.

You can absolutely never think this way. I'm convinced that this idea actually kills people. You can never expect people to spontaneously come to you, even if they're your best friends. They may do so, and often, but you can never  expect it.

If you're doing all the work in the conversation that's one thing, but taking the initiative in starting it is another. It's like a lawnmower: even if everything's working perfectly fine, somebody still has to pull the cord. Oftentimes you have two people who see each other as best friends and would love to talk to each other, but neither initiates.

Everybody, I'm convinced even the most boring normalfag in the world, has something he wants to talk about or work toward. Everyone has an unforced area of conversation. It's our job to find it, not theirs. You just can't rely on people to even know how to do that.

If you're just starting out, random VCs can be a good place for finding out how to do this in a low-stakes environment.

 

[BULLY HUNTER_78]

Best you can hope for is that one day you meet a woman who finds your catastrophic levels of autism endearing instead of viscerally repulsive, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

What woman wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to be a mother to both her husband and he children??

 

[Lidl Drip]

What woman wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to be a mother to both her husband and he children??

Women just love to be in relationships with autistic men who treat us like alien creatures they are trying to study. Nothing more exciting than having to give detailed explanations of everything you are doing and feeling and why because he just doesn't get it and will never be able to relate or understand.

"Female. Your reaction is unreasonable. Cease expelling water from your eyeballs. You are being illogical." swoon

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

"Female. Your reaction is unreasonable. Cease expelling water from your eyeballs. You are being illogical." swoon

Counterpoint: Lolcows keep having an endless line of women in their harems. Explain.

 

[Ibanez RG 350EX]

Counterpoint: Lolcows keep having an endless line of women in their harems. Explain.

It's pretty easy to find somebody if you have no standards or shame.

 

[California Newt]

Women just love to be in relationships with autistic men who treat us like alien creatures they are trying to study.

I look at women like bugs: sexy bugs, like a praying mantis.


I hope this isn't a male; I'd have real egg on my face.

Nothing more exciting than having to give detailed explanations of everything you are doing and feeling and why because he just doesn't get it and will never be able to relate or understand.

"Female. Your reaction is unreasonable. Cease expelling water from your eyeballs. You are being illogical." swoon

If you're so interested you could just DM me, you know. Might not go anywhere but you could give it a shot. It'd be healthier

What woman wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to be a mother to both her husband and he children??

The "mommy" stuff is weird.

 

[BULLY HUNTER_78]

The "mommy" stuff is weird.

Okay, I’ll entertain this post. Mind if I ask you some personal questions?

1) Do own your own home or rent from someone who isn’t your parents?

2) Do you do your own laundry?

If the answer to these questions is no, I humbly submit that you are not looking for a GF. You are looking for a bangmaid.

 

[California Newt]

Okay, I’ll entertain this post. Mind if I ask you some personal questions?

1) Do own your own home or rent from someone who isn’t your parents?

2) Do you do your own laundry?

If the answer to these questions is no, I humbly submit that you are not looking for a GF. You are looking for a bangmaid.

The answer to those two questions is "yes". I'm not looking for a GF or a bangmaid. I'm actually not looking for a woman at all right now: I came in with a very non-controversial statement about women, and their appeal on a more than physical level. You seem to be having some trouble understanding what you're reading.

What you're saying also just isn't true. Even if someone were living with family (understandable in many cases today) and for some reason didn't clean his own clothes (bizarre), that wouldn't mean he's necessarily looking for a mom replacement.

They might not have a lot of luck, but then again I think I've seen guys like that in my hometown do alright for themselves.

I'm curious, though: what do you think men should want from women? What do you think a man's standards should be for one?