Why did Barb abuse Coleslaw while she coddled Chris?

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Mourning Dove

Mourning Dove

Zenaida macroura
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Was Barb too young to be a mother and therefore abuse her unwanted spawn Coleslaw? When she had Chris did Barb realize that OPL was the last chance of someone taking care of her into her old age? This has always baffled me.
 
Chris was "special" so it granted Barb sympathy maybe? I don't know.

I think she abused them both but one is too stupid to know it.
 
Cole is smart enough to notice Barb is a crazy liar and not worth being near. Chris is a giant child so he still reveres and depends on mommy.
 
But the last I checked Barb didn't buy Coleslaw hoards of toys/vidya?
 
Mourning Dove said:
But the last I checked Barb didn't buy Coleslaw hoards of toys/vidya?
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Coleslaw likely didn't whine and beg for it all the time like Chris undoubtfully did.
 
Well, some of it depends on how much of Cole's claims of abuse you're willing to accept. I know some people have found the things he told Chris over that email kinda dubious. I don't think a kid breaks off ties with their parent for no good reason however, so I figure there's got to be some kind of legitimacy to it. Considering that, it's probably important to keep in mind that Cole was raised by Barb and Jack, not Borb. I figure whatever it was that Barb and Jack did to Cole wouldn't have flown with Bob. And I'm sure Chris being speshul probably helped.

...Of course, to say that Chris isn't being abused by Barb in some way is wrong on it's own, he absolutely is. Heck, if the CWCki page on her is right, she's gone as far as threatening to kill him.
 
Alcohol? Personality disorder? Could be any reason.
 
By Cole's phrasing, it sounds like Barb needs support wherever she can get it, even if that means shacking up with rough, disreputable people. (Granted, we have nothing on Ran Coleman Yeatts or Jack Dale Smithey and very little on Jerry Harmon that may or may not have been a little embellished on Cole's part.) On top of that, Barb was only 22 when she had Cole, and both men were presumably older than she was (maybe more than what's considered acceptable today), further throwing the balance of power off. In short, if Barb was ever truly abusive to Cole, it was done to keep "her man" happy, so as not to ruin whatever arrangement she had going.

When Bob came along, Barb was slowing down with age and, working steadily, no longer strictly relied on "her man" for livelihood.

Also, as ignorant as Bob 'n' Barb may have been to parenting, they seemed perceptive enough to notice the shift in attitude about hitting kids. (Not for nothing was Chris born when the self-esteem movement was hitting its stride.) Also, yeah, the autism thing.
 
All of the above, plus this: Barb has invested a lot of time in making sure that Chris isn't capable of moving on and leaving her. She might have to put up with a lot more bizarreness from Chris, but Chris will always need his mommy.

Cole, on the other hand, moved across country at the first opportunity. If she was abusing Cole, or allowing him to be abused, she may have been trying to beat the fight out of him so that he would never abandon her.
 
The Knife said:
All of the above, plus this: Barb has invested a lot of time in making sure that Chris isn't capable of moving on and leaving her. She might have to put up with a lot more bizarreness from Chris, but Chris will always need his mommy.

Coleslaw, on the other hand, moved across country at the first opportunity. If she was abusing Coleslaw, or allowing him to be abused, she may have been trying to beat the fight out of him so that he would never abandon her.
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Or she learned from her mistake (or "mistake", depending on your point of view).
 
Look at Chris's state of life right now. She abused the hell out of him for almost 32 years.
 
Just like Cole, Chris' whole life is a bizarre scenario, minus the cold showers and bare-assed beatings.
 
I think I know why.

See, I don't have a good relationship with my father. Long story short, he was a ginormous controlling dick to basically everyone he knew. When I was in college, he'd constantly threaten to cut off my tuition if he thought I was trying to break out of his control. However, when I said "Ok dad, you do that. I've got enough money saved up to pay it myself." his tune did a complete 180 and he started begging me to associate with him again...and then the next time I offended him, he started making the exact same threats. I eventually got tired of his bullshit and severed contact with him. It completely caught him off guard because he genuinely didn't expect me to exercise free will. I still get angry texts to this day because he's furious that I escaped his control.

Having known him--and knowing that Barb controls Chris using the same methods--I can peg Barb as the sort of person who loves to keep her sentient possessions like Cole and Chris in line by making scary, but empty threats she hasn't got the balls to follow through on. I don't think Cole is telling the exact truth when he says that Barb kicked him out--more likely, she threatened to kick him out and expected him to come crawling back to her in a few days, tearfully begging her to take him back in because she's the only thing keeping him alive. Except Cole was self-reliant by that point, and never came back.

One of her possessions--part of her hoard--had just up and left. And that scared the shit out of her.

So maybe, just possibly, Barb may have thought "Ok. Abusing the last one caused it to leave. I have to be as nice as I possibly can to this one so it won't ditch me the moment it becomes self-reliant. What could possibly go wrong?" That, along with Bob probably being a better influence on her than Jerry, likely led to Chris being spoiled while Cole was abused.
 
And who's to say she didn't abuse Chris in some way? All we have are his recollections and he's been blindly following her word from day one.
 
Perhaps barb realized how much she fucked up with Cole, and babies Chris as an act of retribution.
 
I get it now! All she wanted was the Mother Of The Year award of 2000! She thought she would get it from Cole, but it didn't work. But she was finally able to get it from Chris!

I think we finally cracked the enigma that is the Weston family!
 
Barb does abuse Chris. Making him live in the same room as her, threatening to change the locks if he tries to exert any independence, guilt tripping him with threats of suicide, telling him things like "I gave up a lot for you, now you have to give up a lot (read everything) for me", making him bandage her holey buttocks, spooning with him, saying things like "I didn't raise a daughter" when her chubby l'il autist finds something that makes him happy, refusing to cook and making him eat total crap as a result, feeding him ridiculous conspiracy theories about former neighbors, and Snyder and Megan, the list goes on and on and on. Oh, and we don't really have the details, but Chris once made a statement along the lines of, "Mm, yeah, but my Mom is pretty much jealous of me liking a girl more than her."

Just what in the fuck did she say to prompt a statement like that?

Fuck Barb.
 
Cole's sin was that he proclaimed that Barb was damaged goods. The son from a previous marriage. And like dealing with Chris and his autism, Barb never lets go of a slight.
 
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