Why did our monkey ancestors leave the trees?

[Agent Abe Caprine]

They made a huge mistake.

 

[Shig O'nella]

They didn't leave the trees. The trees left them.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

They got cocky when they figured out how to make weapons

 

[Shidoen]

They had to get food for their bitch wives.

 

[Botchy Galoop]

Snakes. It was because of the fucking snakes.

 

[Mr. Bung]

Snakes. It was because of the fucking snakes.

And leopards. I'm pretty sure leopards were public enemy #1 for quite some time for our primate ancestors. It's a miracle humans never wiped them out in retaliation after they got strong and smart enough.

 

[Synthetic Smug]

It was because the trees were gay.

 

[DDBCAE CBAADCBE]

And leopards. I'm pretty sure leopards were public enemy #1 for quite some time for our primate ancestors. It's a miracle humans never wiped them out in retaliation after they got strong and smart enough.
View attachment 2963172

This. A guy in Africa died not too many years ago by getting crushed beneath the carcass of a zebra that a leopard had dragged into the tree above him and left

 

[Isaac]

Humans are literally more related to foxes than chimps

 

[Penis Drager]

Funny enough: there's a theory out there that a supernova irradiated the Earth and caused a massive forest fire in Africa which turned swathes of forest into grassland so the local monkeys had to adapt to the new environment.
I'm not even kidding. This is a legit academic theory with a lot of support from the paleontological community.

 

[Hellbound Hellhound]

Funny enough: there's a theory out there that a supernova irradiated the Earth and caused a massive forest fire in Africa which turned swathes of forest into grassland so the local monkeys had to adapt to the new environment.
I'm not even kidding. This is a legit academic theory with a lot of support from the paleontological community.

I've never heard of that before. I was aware of the savannah hypothesis as an explanation of how early humans evolutionarily diverged from the other great apes, although the most common thesis I've seen presented was that it was largely climate-driven.

 

[CAPTAIN HAPPY]

The government started taxing tree climbers.

 

[Penis Drager]

I've never heard of that before. I was aware of the savannah hypothesis as an explanation of how early humans evolutionarily diverged from the other great apes, although the most common thesis I've seen presented was that it was largely climate-driven.

Here's the first thing I found on trhe topic:

https://www.inverse.com/article/56213-how-did-supernovae-make-ancient-humans-evolve-to-walk-on-two-legs

 

[Niggernerd]

They got lazy when it came to getting banan. Stupid us.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

Couldn’t figure out how to keep the KFC buckets nailed to the trees

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Leaving the trees led to farming which led to government.

Had the trees never been left, there'd be no state.

It's a miracle humans never wiped them out in retaliation after they got strong and smart enough.

People still like cats.

 

[Mans Holeman]

They probably just got sick of falling out of them while fucking.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Funny enough: there's a theory out there that a supernova irradiated the Earth and caused a massive forest fire in Africa which turned swathes of forest into grassland so the local monkeys had to adapt to the new environment.
I'm not even kidding. This is a legit academic theory with a lot of support from the paleontological community.

My greatest of grandfathers was driven out by a forest fire. That actually explains a lot.