🐱 Why Do Husbands Take So Long To Poop? We Take A Wild Guess What They Might Be Doing

Why Do Husbands Take So Long To Poop? We Take A Wild Guess What They Might Be Doing

Ladies, we tried our best to solve the mystery!

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Are you pissed at your husband for taking so long to poop? Does it leave you wondering what takes them so long to take a dump and sit in there forever? It’s annoying by all means where you can’t stop cracking your brains figuring out what they are actually upto. Switching off the WiFi, is also not an option because there’s enough mobile data to rely on. End of the day, you can’t really control it! But, the curiosity never dies.
We take a wild guess what they might be busy doing despite constant reminders to step out and vacate the washroom.

1. Reading the newspaper while taking a dump is a thing of the past. They scroll through their Twitter feed to stay updated with the world news and most importantly sports!
2. They have constipation and defecation issues, maybe? We know, an ideal bowel movement doesn’t take an hour.
3. Probably they are hiding from their wives for their perfect ‘Me Time’, and can’t find a better place than to sit on the porcelain throne.

4. Maybe, that’s where they brainstorm and come up with the best ideas for work and otherwise? How creative! Eww!
5. Probably they are hiding something?
6. Umm… to escape the chores maybe?
7. Stock up on the latest memes and broadcast it on WhatsApp!
8. Play games in peace without their wife shouting at them.
9. Planning the next prank on us!
10. Listening to music, but it’s so not pleasing. Yuck!
11. Counting the tiles on the floor? Wait! Even that doesn’t take more than a minute.
12. Taking a nap?
Okay, we tried our best to solve the mystery and took all the possible wild guesses we could. Let us know if we have missed out on any.

 

[Stoneheart]

I dont have a wife and i still sit 20 minutes on the throne every morning. its relaxing

 

[Dyn]

We're avoiding our wives because it's the only place they'll fucking leave us alone for five minutes.

Obviously.

 

[Slimy Time]

Because it's the one time they can't be bugged by their wife or kids. 5 to 10 mins where you can just ignore everything because "im taking a shit".

 

[Not Really Here]

This article proves their husbands can't even use the bathroom in peace. The question is: Are their husbands saints, beta cucks, or planning murder?

 

[heathercho]

I dont have a wife and i still sit 20 minutes on the throne every morning. its relaxing

It's because you, like most men, are full of shit. Prove me wrong.

 

[Stoneheart]

It's because you, like most men, are full of shit. Prove me wrong.

i doubt that is possible. i mean proving you wrong.

 

[RadicalCentrist]

Legitimately shocked the number one reason wasn't "Toilet Paper hoard is empty"

1. Reading the newspaper while taking a dump is a thing of the past. They scroll through their Twitter feed to stay updated with the world news and most importantly sports!

Oh it's because this clickbait was written in the past, lol

 

[Sped Xing]

If you feel the need to hide out from your wife, it's time to call a lawyer and divorce the skank.

This meme of "married couples hate one another" tells us how very many people married the first gutter troll who would say yes.

But I do like a nice unhurried dump, and have done so long before I was even an adult. Don't squeeze so hard. A shit is never late, nor is it early.

 

[Thorvald Stauning]

This article forgot about examining the nuclear stockpile while on the shitter

 

[Sexual Chocolate]

13. Crying and masturbating.

 

[Clem Fandango]

If you feel the need to hide out from your wife, it's time to call a lawyer and divorce the skank.

This meme of "married couples hate one another" tells us how very many people married the first gutter troll who would say yes.

Nah, there's a reason for the meme, and that's that women in general want their husbands to "spend time with them" when they're bored whereas generally men will just go and find something to do when they're bored.

Not wanting to spend every second of the day with someone doesn't mean you hate them, obviously.

So yeah, clickbait though it is, the answer is number 3 on that list.

 

[Literary Hitler]

What They Might Be Doing

Shitting, for instance.

 

[Sped Xing]

Like I said, "first gutter troll who would say yes."

My body pillow doesn't oppress me with inane chatter.

 

[Shadfan666xxx000]

Like I said, "first gutter troll who would say yes."

My body pillow doesn't oppress me with inane chatter.

So close but so far. What you should do is sire bastards with career women. You can play dad here and there and she might still let you fuck her ass.

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

my brother takes forever on the toilet because his browsing his smartphone while taking a shit. he still sits there, after taking his shit and keeps playing with his smartphone wasting time! he ever dropped it in the toilet once and had to replace it! i really hope this not something common younger people do nowdays...

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Obviously, the patriarchy is so strong and men are so powerful and in control, that they can't even take a dump without it being somehow a powerplay against women on a global scale.

 

[The Unbecoming]

I take so long because my brown colored muse does not like to rush.

 

[Orion Balls]

He's playing video games.

 

[knobslobbin]

A functioning anus, one that hasn't been ravaged by untold numbers of regretted incursions, takes a while to dilate enough for a football sized turd to tumble out sideways. Or maybe the husbands just like some alone time?