Why do people like dolphins?

[IAmNotAlpharius]

I don’t get why people like dolphins. Dolphins are the apex sexual predators of the seas. They form literal rape gangs, practice infanticide, and commit murder for lulz. They are manipulative little psychopaths who have hoodwinked humanity into seeing them as cute did-do-nothings.

Spoiler: Dolphins are assholes

Also killer whales are dolphins. Don’t fall for their propaganda!

 

[totallyrandomusername]

Technically there was that documentary about killer whales killing people at Sea World. Killer whales are dolphins after all. The Simpson’s also predicted the future conflict.

Well, the Orca in part of the family Delphinidae, which includes all the oceanic dolphins. This doesn't include other dolphins, such as the river dolphins, or the brackish dolphins.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

She makes weird faces that inexplicably arouse young men.

I've got the best scientists on the case. Preliminary results suggest this is the result of an outbreak of Lonely Ass Nigga Syndrome.

Oh, wait, we're talking about the aquatic mammal.

 

[Some JERK]

Ain't no dolphin ever called me "nigger".

 

[Kiwi Boer]

I prefer dolphin shorts, amirite?