Why do the most boring fucking lolcows of all time get their own subforums?

[DoNotFeedTheSneed]

DSP, now Rekieta… who’s next, fucking bossmanjack? Because we totally need an entire subforum dedicated to some drunk getting drunk again over and over again!

 

[DoNotFeedTheSneed]

No you don't understand. A lawyer doing coke and drinking on stream watching him destroy himself needs an entire subforum dedicated to it.

You’re right! We should also have an entire subforum dedicated to Bossmanjack losing his money over and over again too! We also need to notify the community happens thread every time he takes a breath!

 

[WTBOnlineFather]

Streamlining the forum. As it stands, there’s a lot of unnecessary bloat cluttering the forum list.

Maybe I'm not autistic enough to understand this but I just don't see how having to scroll an additional 50 pixels when browsing the front page can possibly be so disruptive to you lol. There's a board for a guy who has had a dedicated "fanbase" since before this website was even founded, and a board for a guy whose thread was literally gaining upwards of 150 pages a day and several offshoot threads had to be made so people could hold a conversation about a specific topic. Meanwhile you have provided no arguments for why anything should be removed or changed according to your wishes other than "is boring" and "bothers me". Do you also happen to be really into trains?

 

[Spud]

Do you also happen to be really into trains?

FUCK YOU, TRAINS ARE COOL AND THEY'RE A MAGNIFICENT FEAT OF HUMAN ENGINEERING!

 

[DoNotFeedTheSneed]

Meanwhile you have provided no arguments for why anything should be removed or changed according to your wishes other than "is boring" and "bothers me".

As it should be.

 

[grump]

I don't really follow DSP but what exactly makes him a lolcow?

DSP is basically a catalog of all major personality disorders at a subcriminal level combined on daily display.

Dueling Narratives: Its funny to watch phil flail around and contradict himself sometimes in the same sentence with completely opposing narratives he adapts depending on the situation with no regards to logical consistency. He'll be rich and successful and happy one moment than poor and struggling and miserable another.

Evolving Narratives: Phil loves to gradually alter stories to suit himself over time despite us being able to go back and see all the stages of him doing it. An example would be the SWATing and bank leaks which started out as no big deal but over time became dramatic tales of detractors nearly killing him or emptying out his bank account.

Fans: Phil absolutely despises his fans as much or possibly even more than his detractors. And he clearly hates his piss easy 'job'. Its interesting watching his fans stick through him through thick and thin as he hurls constant abuse at them, shows his disdain for them in multiple ways, and generally does absolutely nothing for them. His 'improvements' over the years almost universally being stuff that clearly benefits him personally.

Relationships: Every personal and professional relationship Phil has is dysfunctional. Almost everybody who gets to know phil well eventually grows to hate him and cut ties with him with a few possible exceptions of his superfans, parents, and khet. And we're not even sure about most of those. If you dig into his past you'll find him making a pariah of himself as he moves from group to group online and in real life. His current reputation simply being the result of him being an obnoxious pest in his most recent home.

Of course he characterizes it in his own way being this groundbreaking crusader and truthteller too pure for the haters from the succession of communities he's blessed with his presence/got casted out from. This is the story. At least sometimes. Other times he acts like he has no idea where the hate comes from its so sad and awful people just randomly hate on little old him for no reason minding his own business avoiding the drama.

These are just a few tidbits. I could go on and on.

As you can clearly see this is not usually flashy dramatic clearly criminal incidents. He's not physically attacking a walmart clerk or molesting a child every other day. But its no less interesting. Its the lolcow equivalent of a character driven drama vs a Michael Bay movie. There is a reason why Phil's thread is one of the largest here and he's considered the archetypal lolcow.

Is it the way he easily crushes all his foes while being utterly invincible and never having to get a real job?

This is common misconception. Phil 'outlasts' everybody else because he is unwilling and unable to do anything other than to keep a deathgrip on a 'job' he clearly despises. Contrary to popular perception once a certain level of notoriety is reached it is almost impossible to actually kick an internet personality off their job without the cooperation of platforms. But his stupid fans giving him money despite constant abuse is part of what makes things interesting.