Why does it seem so many young men can't accept themselves and accept rejection these days?

[Zero Day Defense]

You'll forgive me if I find it more difficult to believe that women (speaking in generalities) have less informal and formal privilege in Canada versus the United States.

If you want to point to something, point to the industrial revolution.

based and tedpilled

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

I like Zizek’s take on incels here that what they have done is found a way to express their own predicament when it is politically incorrect to say to someone you are so ugly you will never get laid but that is their experience.

I mean why are people having fewer relationships or relationships are now increasingly being done through tinder and dating services. I think this stage of post-industrial society produces a certain level of alienation. Increasingly more and more people are working all of the time in gig economy jobs hustling on the side amidst a very uncertain job market due to automation and outsourcing. The 21st century worker is an alienated nomad with no foreseeable future they can plan around so marriages are becoming less common and dating is something of a game you do in your spare time. It’s difficult to have a healthy relationship when you are on opposite schedules with someone else for example or preoccupied with establishing yourself in a hyper paced changing world combined with being told as a child you can do anything.

There is an element of commodification to our most intimate personal lives as well with the dating scene and we become preoccupied with turning ourselves into a marketable product for someone else. I don’t care if I sound like a commie but capitalism has really seeped into even the most personal aspects of our lives when the dating scene is referred to as the sexual marketplace. There is something really wrong with this picture when we produce an over abundance and have developed in ways that could actually afford us more leisure time to have stable relationships and yet people are working like they were living in the 19th century.

Edit: it’s weird that people in the early 20th century theorized by now that we would all be working less due to innovations in communication technology and transportation but that has not happened.

 

[Sweetpeaa]

You'll forgive me if I find it more difficult to believe that women (speaking in generalities) have less informal and formal privilege in Canada versus the United States.


based and tedpilled

Not hard to believe at all. Canada is an oil and gas economy and quite backwards on many things. Women don't get to high positions very often. You won't find many female CEO's, judges or lawyers in Canada versus the United States. Cities like NYC have high female workforce participation, in Toronto you won't find a woman (in comparable rates) in such jobs other than the service industry.

And then there's this

 

[Zero Day Defense]

You won't find many female CEO's, judges or lawyers in Canada versus the United States.

Do they want to be those things in Canada in the same way women in the States want to be those things?

And then there's this

...so, should murderers start killing men at the same rate? Also, nearly 70% of the murder victims in Canada are men, so at this point it really sounds like you're trolling.

 

[PaleTay]

I will say this, I never got any ''support'' as a female. Nor did my social circle. Everyone worked as much they could to afford basics. I even worked as a tree planter one year in my early 20's, many of my other friends (female) took construction jobs, factory work. Female privilege is rare, though seems more common because the rich girls are using and showing off on social media. You are seeing such a small subset of females with this kind of lifestyle.

It's extremely common but the unhealthy type of social support, where the girls feel alone.

It's pretty much middle class and up, if anything there's a lot that gets turned down or that you don't see on social media. Occasionally, I'll get a random decently expensive gift but quite a few are getting significant amounts of money regularly if that's what you mean.

 

[Stoneheart]

Its all Social medias fault... bitching about beeing rejected by a girl is totaly normal, but it should be done with friends at a bar and not home alone infront of a screen.

 

[Billy Beer]

Its all Social medias fault... bitching about beeing rejected by a girl is totaly normal, but it should be done with friends at a bar and not home alone infront of a screen.

Worse than that, i saw a worrying trend on facebook starting last year, which ended with me cancelling FB again (i lasted 3 month).

Spoiler: The Trend

The trend:

Girl gets message on dating app
Message is cringe and a bit shitty
Girl posts message on facebook to laugh at message.
Bitchy friends of Girl egg-her on to post more messages, knowing full-well what they're doing.
Thing becomes popular so less confident men send less messages
Girl gets annoyed that people aren't messaging her on dating apps
Girl gets annoyed that she can't find a 'real man' IRL (because her friends see what a bitch she is and avoid her)

There should be a reminder (like there is on this site) that NO 'private messages' are actually private.

And as a message to all the men on dating sites out there: Get the fuck off of them. You have more chance of pulling IRL, learn lessons what to do/not to do and will find that a conversation only lasts as long as a fart in a hurricane, vs online messaging lasting longer than a fart in a sauna.

 

[Stoneheart]

Girl gets message on dating app
Message is cringe and a bit shitty
Girl posts message on facebook to laugh at message.

and thats why i only send dick pics... those cant be reposted...

 

[Niggernerd]

Just talk to bitches lol

 

[shameful existence]

And then there's this

I remember that a couple years back there was a drama regarding some Canadian MRAs wanting to expand the MMIW to include indigenous men as they're the vast majority of murdered indigenous people, and I remember them being vilified for it (and quite likely failing - not sure).

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

...so, should murderers start killing men at the same rate? Also, nearly 70% of the murder victims in Canada are men, so at this point it really sounds like you're trolling.

In Canada there is a disproportionate murder rate for indigenous women that I know of for certain. It is a combination of racism in Canada towards First Nations people and economic conditions that make these women vulnerable as well as intergenerational trauma brought on by our residential school system which continued up into the 1990’s and forcibly broke up the families and communities of these people. The worst part also is that with our oil and gas economy it does put a lot of man camps nearby these communities and this is where some of that violence occurs.

I remember that a couple years back there was a drama regarding some Canadian MRAs wanting to expand the MMIW to include indigenous men as they're the vast majority of murdered indigenous people, and I remember them being vilified for it.

I find that really interesting, I had not heard of this from the MRA’s but I have heard indigenous people say the MMIW should also be expanded to include boys and men which makes sense boys and men have also been brutalized. I was told too that it’s not just white men or whatever doing this there is also a problem within indigenous communities where abusers have been protected by their own institutions and chiefs. Generally speaking there are problems with corruption and a cycle of inter generational trauma where some of those who have grown up being abused and traumatized as children in the residential school system by Catholic priests and nuns have turned into abusers themselves. Sadly it’s something that happens sometimes with abuse and trauma.

 

[Scale Smerch]

Not hard to believe at all. Canada is an oil and gas economy and quite backwards on many things. Women don't get to high positions very often. You won't find many female CEO's, judges or lawyers in Canada versus the United States. Cities like NYC have high female workforce participation, in Toronto you won't find a woman (in comparable rates) in such jobs other than the service industry.

I was content to lurk but this is some serious bullshit that deserves to be called out.

No, Canada is not an O&G economy. It may have a noticeable O&G component (especially in Alberta and Saskatchewan), but it's primarily services and real estate based. Statistics Canada shows this (which Wikipedia is kind enough to display the GDP table of), and you'll note they also show manufacturing as a more dominant sector. Canada is your standard post-industrial western economy and far from backwards, no matter what the NDP and Greens may tell you.

Building on this is women in the workplace. Either you are blind or deliberately disingenuous for failing to note the sheer number of programs, services, subsidies, and other bureaucratic graft women get across numerous industries. Take a look at any post-secondary STEM program in Canada and you'll find multiple scholarships, groups, and committees wholly devoted to increasing female participation and success. For example (slight PL) but already this year at my school I've received three emails for two separate WOMENS ONLY conferences in engineering. But you really want to know how disadvantaged women are? They only make up slightly more than half of all medical students - i.e. doctors - and damn, only just under half of all lawyers. Yes, clearly more needs to be done.

You apparently will never accept it, but you and your sex are second only to ethnic minorities for the hand holding and coddling you receive. If you want something, you can have it, and the only reason you haven't is you're unwilling to search out and use everything at your disposal, because obviously that too needs to be supplied to you on a silver platter.

 

[shameful existence]

I find that really interesting, I had not heard of this from the MRA’s but I have heard indigenous people say the MMIW should also be expanded to include boys and men which makes sense boys and men have also been brutalized.

The problem is - men can't play this victimhood game, even if factually in the right. Psychologically, it will never work and no one will like it. Men won't regain any power (nor equal treatment, for those who want it) by institutionalizing their vulnerability. And it gets super obvious when it comes to white men.

 

[Sweetpeaa]

I was content to lurk but this is some serious bullshit that deserves to be called out.

No, Canada is not an O&G economy. It may have a noticeable O&G component (especially in Alberta and Saskatchewan), but it's primarily services and real estate based. Statistics Canada shows this (which Wikipedia is kind enough to display the GDP table of), and you'll note they also show manufacturing as a more dominant sector. Canada is your standard post-industrial western economy and far from backwards, no matter what the NDP and Greens may tell you.

Building on this is women in the workplace. Either you are blind or deliberately disingenuous for failing to note the sheer number of programs, services, subsidies, and other bureaucratic graft women get across numerous industries. Take a look at any post-secondary STEM program in Canada and you'll find multiple scholarships, groups, and committees wholly devoted to increasing female participation and success. For example (slight PL) but already this year at my school I've received three emails for two separate WOMENS ONLY conferences in engineering. But you really want to know how disadvantaged women are? They only make up slightly more than half of all medical students - i.e. doctors - and damn, only just under half of all lawyers. Yes, clearly more needs to be done.

You apparently will never accept it, but you and your sex are second only to ethnic minorities for the hand holding and coddling you receive. If you want something, you can have it, and the only reason you haven't is you're unwilling to search out and use everything at your disposal, because obviously that too needs to be supplied to you on a silver platter.

The money laundering inflating our real estate has only been a thing for the last 23 years. Canada's main industry is still oil, gas and natural resources.

Since when our ethnic minorities coddled in Canada? you mean the ones dying in our factories from Covid 19 outbreaks earning barely 11 dollars per hour and living in shared rooms with 4 other people. Ethnic minorities, unless they're wealthy Chinese, generally suffer in this country a great deal more than what we're told. As far as women getting ''free stuff'' - I suggest you do some investigation into the social benefit system in this country as well as the grants and student loans. They're all woefully inadequate and largely inaccessible. I know plenty of people who have applied for things like disability tax credits for their kids and they never received a cent. With our student loan system (especially in Ontario) people aren't even given enough to cover tuition and there is also no grace period for repayment. It sucks here for everyone equally.

 

[Tranimal Farm]

Internet dating and apps coupled with modern hookup culture play a big role I think. Back in the day when you lived in a small town with no internet or lived in the city with a more limited circle of friends you didn't have a whole lot of options. If the only single people you knew werent totally your type, tough, those were your options. Now we have tinder, where you can basically browse partners like products on ebay. We don't feel the same anxiety about rejecting our possible dating options or ending a relationship because theres now a wider pool of options, meaning theres always the possibility of "trading up" for someone better. Guys are more likely to take what they can get, but if they aren't fortunate enough to be the kind of guy the majority of women chase after, they're shit out of luck. The only options then are to persist and open yourself to the possibility of more rejection or heartbreak, or give up and blackpill

 

[Don't Tread on Me]

As a doomer, the risk just isnt worth the reward. You have no way of protecting yourself from a woman coming in, taking your time and money and raising your kids and then just up and leaving.

It's not just gambling. It's an absolute crapshoot. You have to bet every single day for the rest of your life that not even one thing will push her to say "fuck it" and skip town.

No thanks. I'm not trusting anyone with my life, least of all someone as fickle and unsatisfied as a modern woman.

 

[Cuck Shack]

That's not true.
It's just that previous generations didn't have social media to share their fears and worries with the world.
They kept it to themselves and were coping with depression alone.

cite your sources

I'm 40+ and not handsome. I've never worried about my looks. Not even when I was younger. This was not a concern back then. Only for women, fags and the rare straight sissy boy. I've never been depressed either.

It seems most boys end up as sissies now. Seeing some "men" in this thread whine about rejection told me all I needed to know. Who gets bent out of shape because someone said the scary n word to them? You're not a five year old who had his Legos taken. No one owes you shit and you'll have a long, difficult life if no one bothered to tell you that before.

Part of the problem is that people don't have real problems anymore, so now they have to invent them. Also spoiling, lack of male role models because their dad is either absent or a puss himself, being raised by the internet and so on.

Something disturbing is being pushed in schools in liberal areas too. Some teachers aren't even content with just letting sissy boys play with dolls. They make regular boys play with dolls even if they don't want to. Yes these are the same brainless feminists who whine that gender roles are forced on them, while forcing them on children. Clown world. And people wonder why I'm a hermit.

 

[L50LasPak]

I also want to point out that in the modern world there's a lot of things introverted people might find more rewarding than attempting the dating scene. Just because you don't spend time in a relationship doesn't mean you have to spend it jerking off. Personally I spent more time with my friends, would work on my hobbies, and these days I spend time with my immediate family. A few people I know turned their lack of a sex life into a ton of overtime at work; not because they needed the money, but because they figured if their time was going to be wasted anyway they might as well get paid for it.

The thing nobody seemingly wants to accept is that the incels screaming about not having sex are in the minority. The majority of the people not engaged in relationships are disinterested. If you ask them in a survey, they'll say yeah they want a romantic partner, but if you look at it in practice they take no steps to find one and are mostly just accepting of that.

I've met women in my age range. They're not sluts, they're actually in most cases identical to the personality I have. Cynical, detached, disinterested. Most everyone I know is like that. People just don't care anymore. We watched our parents all endure and in most cases end incredibly unhappy or abusive marriages and were left wondering why people even bother hooking up in the first place. Would you want to fuck around with relationships after being raised in the ruin they lead to? Its not worth it.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

As it turns out, those who have already commented have been able to address a lot of what I would have. One thing I haven't seen, though, is the matter of investment.

The way young men are told to pursue intimacy is effeminate and unbecoming of men, which makes sense when you consider that it's the sum of what women tell them to do and what they glean from movie narratives that don't well-establish that they're more concerned with the actual variable part about the wacky adventures than they are with the granted ending of "he gets the girl", or-- in particular-- Disney movie narratives that present over and over again idealized, linear relationships where the man performs some grand gesture(s) to convince the woman to "love" him and they get to live "happily ever after" without even the discussion of their continued relationship, possible marriage, whatever kids they end up having, etc.

The idea that circulates among less assertive/aggressive boys is that they should start out as friends with the girl that they like, and then-- effectively-- attempt to seduce her through the development of that relationship. In the first place, this is a time sink with no guarantee of success, but the greater issue lies with the "inflection point" of such a relationship (if there's any at all, since perhaps mutual attraction does form but the lack of distinction in the relationship means that they find themselves in an awkward relationship phase where they're simultaneously friends and lovers but will have their relationship dissolve as though it were a friendship even as it hurts as if they were lovers).

There's a chance that admitting infatuation (let's be frank, too many young people these days have no sense of love/how to be lovable) can yield favorable results, but it doesn't always end up that way, and the implication of that is that the guy spent all this time and energy (months or even years worth, in some cases) devising a seduction strategy that went out the window in a couple minutes. It's a tough pill to swallow, and it's also why the advice of becoming the friend of someone you like (instead of outright telling them that you're infatuated with them in the first place) is a terrible strategy for men that... also only really benefits women, because-- if only during that friendship-- they have access to special privileges at the hand of this man trying to woo her without any need on her part to do anything (if you think I'm reeing about women here, just remember that this is the most primitive form of simping).

 

[Chandler Bing]

Most degenerates I meet online who have succumb to this are literally text book bastards with no show fathers or theyre missing a parent.

Obviously the internet, social media, and society have contributed. It really does boil down to the parenting and allowing the internet to raise so many people in place of the missing parent or attention they didn't have.

Its simple to understand yet not. I don't bother too much anymore thinking about this stuff.

I'm just enjoying the ride while eating my metaphorical popcorn, reading the comments, and leaving a few as I watch.